Home / Robert Farley / Who Would Win in a Fight?

Who Would Win in a Fight?


Yes yes yes with the Right’s vaguely homoerotic fetish with authoritarian strongmen. ┬áThat said, the question the question that’s obsessed me since last week runs as follows:

Who would win in a fight?

Vladimir Putin vs. the Most Interesting Man in the World?

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  • Ordinarily I’d say Putin in a second. He’s short which leads people to underestimate him, and he’s outlasted almost all of his opponents. However after this unsettling display, I’m no longer so confident.

  • Kurzleg

    Yeah, but Putin’s got his KGB background going for him. He probably knows a thousand ways to a man. The other guy’s only hope is that Putin will find him far too interesting to kill.

  • Kurzleg

    a thousand ways to kill a man, of course.

    • Walt

      Right, you meant “kill”. We totally believe you.

  • mark f

    If the Most Interesting Man in the World beat Putin in a fight it would be his first sign of interestingness.

  • Alex

    Putin wouldn’t stand a chance. Putin would kill himself, but first he’d beg the MIMITW’s forgiveness for interrupting his day.

  • Antonius Magnus


  • The only reason The Most Interesting Man in the World has any kind of job at all is solely due to the fact that Ricardo Montalban is dead, and has been too preoccupied of late to come down and kick his ass. (Now: Putin vs. Montalban–there’s a match-up!)

    • Ian

      Rock paper scissors:

      Montalban > Putin
      Shatner > Montalban
      Putin > Shatner

      • Malaclypse

        This merely establishes once and for all the primacy of Picard.

        • MikeJ

          Picard: the dullest man in this or any other world.

  • Actually, the KGB ordered The Most Interesting Man in the World assassinated in 1979. But the plan failed when the assassin, instead of using an umbrella to fire a ricin pellet into his leg, offered it to him on a rainy London street instead.

    Stay thirsty, my friends.

    • mds

      [Takes old ARPANET down from shelf, blows dust off it, offers it to Professor Coldheart]

      • Captain Goto

        No; after that, you have to keep it. Really.

  • Malaclypse

    The undead revenant of Ronald Reagan would clearly win against either of these foreigners, as would, obviously, Sasquatch. Not allowing them to enter is further evidence of LGM’s nihilist demonology and general anti-Americanism.

    • rea

      Surely, malaclypse, you are not suggesting that sasquatch is real, are you? Oh, the antisemetic horror of it all!

  • BigHank53

    Given the number of oligarchs that Putin has supporting him, the odds of the most interesting man in the world arriving at the fight are extremely low. Better odds if doesn’t drink any tea. Or fly. Or drive, leave the house, etc.

    • Halloween Jack

      He’d show up to the match full of enough Polonium-210 to light up Times Square, losing his hair and shitting out his intestines all the way.

  • Bart

    “I don’t usually fight Russians, but when I do, I fight Putin”

  • norbizness

    I don’t usually drink horse piss, but when I do, I like the one that has to have two whole limes per bottle to make it palatable.

  • Anderson

    TMIMITW would win in a fair fight, but Putin can hardly be expected to fight fair.

  • Fred

    The most interesting man in the world has friends. Besides, who do you think took all those cool Putin photos?

  • Stag Party Palin

    I’m not worried about TMIMITW. It’s only a question of how many of his fembots he brings to the fight, and how much mud is involved. Now THAT would be interesting.

  • Old Spice Guy could take them both without mussing his towel.

  • Bill Murray

    TMIMITW’s mom would take care of Putin for him. There’s a reason she has a tat with his name on it

  • strategichamlet

    From Putin’s wikipedia page:

    “One of Putin’s favorite sports is the martial art of judo. Putin began training in sambo (a martial art that originated in the Soviet Union) at the age of 14, before switching to judo, which he continues to practice today.[284] Putin won competitions in his hometown of Leningrad (now Saint Petersburg), including the senior championship of Leningrad. He is the President of the Yawara Dojo, the same Saint Petersburg dojo he practiced at when young. Putin co-authored a book on his favorite sport, published in Russian as Judo with Vladimir Putin and in English under the title Judo: History, Theory, Practice.[285]
    Though he is not the first world leader to practice judo, Putin is the first leader to move forward into the advanced levels. Currently, Putin holds a 6th dan (red/white belt) and is best known for his Harai Goshi (sweeping hip throw). Putin earned Master of Sports (Soviet and Russian sport title) in Judo in 1975 and in Sambo in 1973. At a state visit to Japan, Putin was invited to the Kodokan Institute where he showed the students and Japanese officials different judo techniques.”

  • c u n d gulag

    Maybe they love Putin for his song styling ability. Here he is singing a R&R classic. Seriously! And safe for work, too.

    I recommend Depends while watching.

    Bonus: See how many Hollywood stars you can spot in Fearless Leader Vlad’s audience.

  • blowback

    Here we go with American exceptionalism again. Thinking that the World is the United States, Canada and maybe Mexico. Perhaps he should be called the Most Interesting Man in the North American Free Trade Area!

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