There, There

General J.C. Christian kindly consoles Ace O. Spades, heterosexual, over the latest humiliation of the wingnutosphere’s Junior Detective division:

I see Greenwald is doing it to you again, and frankly, I’m disgusted by it. I mean, here we have a guy who refuses to answer his nations call to take up his keyboard and go to war against the Worldwide Islamunistofascist Conspiracy and its servants in the media and the Demislamunistofascistsatanic Party, and chooses, instead, to fact check you and Chuck Johnson, two of America’s greatest keyboard heroes.

I know he thinks he’s exposed you as some frightened, hate-crazed supremacist with delusions of martial grandeur, and maybe you are, but who’s to say that isn’t a good thing. It certainly works for Dick Cheney.

Yes, things look bleak right now. Certainly, to most observers, the fact that the State Department authenticated a document you claimed was forged does tend to make you look like an idiot.

Fortunately we know better. Fuck Greenwald and those of his ilk who are stabbing America in the back with cold hard facts. We have a war to win. We don’t have time for facts or reality. They are merely crutches for the weak. We will build our own reality; a reality where going to war with Iraq was a smart move; a reality where all men are strong and ruggedly handsome and, by God, a reality in which all women are eager to sleep with us even if we live in our mother’s basement eating Cheetos and compulsively masturbating to reruns of 24.

I must echo these sentiments, in the interests of civility.

…Speaking of the Schiavo memo, a compendium of Powerline’s greatest hits.