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NFL Open Thread: many things could be finer edition

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The question of whether the Chicago White Sox or the Carolina Panthers are currently the most ineptly run team in major American professional sports is an interesting one. In both cases, the rot comes from the top:

Owner David Tepper is a hedge fund scuzzball turned multi-sport mogul. He’s like a cross between Dan Snyder without the lacertine charisma and Jimmy Haslam with less wisdom and foresight. Tepper is imperious, impetuous, meddlesome and incompetent.

General manager Dan Morgan is the football equivalent of the officer commanding the fleet after Darth Vader Force-choked all his superiors at the end of The Empire Strikes Back. A former Panthers linebacker and assistant GM who hid beneath his desk during Tepper’s most recent firing spree, Morgan possesses baseline managerial qualifications and would probably be OK if he had any resources to work with. 

Canales may be the NFL’s handsomest head coach. He looks a little like Kliff Kingsbury without the douchebag-at-Burning-Man vibe, or Sean McVay with 20% more Casanova and 60% less leprechaun. 

And only the guy at the top was responsible for one of the most catastrophic trades in NFL history:

Bryce Young is a human Sunk Cost Fallacy with a 30-inch inseam. He is a product of pre-draft groupthink, the Manning Academy old-boy network, a little helicopter parenting, an Alabama program that surrounded him with more talent than the Panthers currently possess and a dash of magical realism. He lacks any NFL-caliber trait except intelligence, dedication and leadership. If those traits turned 5-foot-10 individuals into NFL players, you or I might have had a five-year career. 

Bleacher Report insider Jordan Schultz reported on Monday that “Young and those close to him were ‘very shocked’ at the organization’s decision to bench him this morning. ‘It came out of nowhere,’ one source said.” That source was almost certainly one or both of Young’s media-savvy and well-connected parents. At any rate, if Young was shocked by the benching, it explains the way he handles a blitz.

I mean, nothing against the guy, but it’s brutal to watch:

And as with the White Sox although not quite as good at the higher end, they had a fairly competitive roster before blundering into historic ineptitude:

Imagine a roster of Baker Mayfield, Christian McCaffrey, D.J. Moore, Brian Burns, Frankie Luvu, the Ekwonu-Corbett-Moton line, Brown, Horn and a few capable veterans (Shaq Thompson, Johnny Hekker) who weren’t mentioned earlier. That team would not be a threat to the 49ers in the NFC, but it could compete for a division title, especially if supplemented with a recent draftee or two. Say, a Darnell Wright to punch up the line and a Tyrique Stevenson in the secondary?

The Panthers possessed that very team (minus Wright and Stevenson) in 2022. They went 6-6 down the stretch, albeit without the traded-at-the-deadline McCaffrey. They traded some of the assets for Young, some for more-or-less nothing (McCaffrey’s draft picks became Mingo and nondescript edge rusher D.J. Johnson) and let others wander off as free agents. It’s practically a Brewster’s Millions scenario, with Young as the priceless postage stamp that will soon be mailed back to Tuscaloosa.

The fact that a total prick like Tepper was able to successfully execute a stadium shakedown proves that literally anyone can.

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