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Cyberfuck

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How is started: Balls up.

During the 2019 unveiling of Tesla’s “Cybertruck” Tesla CEO Lemon Usk announces that the glass for his pet vehicle will be “literally bulletproof to a 9mm handgun.” Which was a weird way of putting it. But at his employer’s urging Tesla’s chief designer broke the glass by throwing metal balls at it.

Looking back I’m surprised Lemon didn’t announce von Holzhausen was an early recipient of the neuralink which made him able to throw a steel ball harder than a gun can fire a bullet.

How it’s going: Voluntary recall #4, come on down!

On affected vehicles, the front windshield wiper motor controller may stop functioning due to electrical overstress to the gate driver component.

The affected vehicles in this case are

all Model Year (“MY”) 2024 Cybertruck vehicles manufactured from November 13, 2023, to June 6, 2024.

That’s more than 11,600 vehicles according to the June 19 notice from the NHTSA. If you haven’t made a habit of giggling at the saga of the Cybertruck, the singular “wiper” is not a typo. One of the things that Lemon had to have on his futuristic future truck of the future is a single massive windshield wiper for its massive windshield that reminds me of his forehead.

But a big massive windshield wiper would be fine. If it worked. This one is too heavy for the motor, and will stop working. As a result:

A non-functioning windshield wiper may reduce visibility in certain operating conditions, which may increase the risk of a collision.

You can read about voluntary vs. involuntary vehicle recalls here.

This is Tesla’s fourth voluntary recall for the Cybertruck (three if you don’t count one that affected several Tesla models) since Nov. 30, 2023.


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