The most boring state in America

This is a highly scientific post, employing a sophisticated methodology that I can only begin to hint at here.

The question it seeks to answer is, what is the most boring state in America.

Let’s begin with a simple process of elimination.

The following states are obviously not candidates:

Any state in the West (too much great scenery plus it’s the West, young man).

Any state in the Deep South (too much bloody history and the music and literature it produces).

Any state with a really significant metropolis. Thus for example Illinois — otherwise a really bland and boring state — is out of the running.

Any state where it’s easy to think of a song about that state. Thus Ohio and Indiana aren’t candidates.

Any state where Bob Dylan was born or that has a city that inspired a Coen Brothers’ movie.

Any state that’s interesting because of its inherently freakish characteristics (Rhode Island for example), or because you can imagine moving there voluntarily under certain circumstances (Vermont, New Hampshire).

OK this is getting boring.

The answer is: Connecticut.