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I hope each meal ends with a teeny tiny gold-flake thin mint

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Have you ever wondered what the tumbrel passengers of tomorrow would eat if they were all as tacky and insecure as President Petite Pattes? Billy Oliva, Delmonico’s executive chef has. I think he nailed it.

Delmonico’s, located just a few blocks away from the New York Stock Exchange in downtown Manhattan, opened in 1837 as one of the first sit-down restaurants in America.

But while the restaurant is perhaps best known for its steaks, it also has a selection of food items you won’t find on the menu. Called the “Secret Billionaire’s Menu,” these dishes will set you back quite a bit — there’s a grilled cheese sandwich for $100, for example, and a golden twist on the classic black-and-white cookie for $50.

What’s the secret? Gold and truffles.

  • Gold flakes – and truffle slivers – on the Billionaire’s Flatbread. Based on the photo it is considerately and thoroughly pre-masticated for clients who have Habsburg jaws.
  • Truffles on the Wall Street Grilled Cheese sandwich. It could also be called The Advanced Disease on Toast, but then the marks wouldn’t hand over $100 for it. Probably.
  • Gold flake – but not truffles – on the Billionaire’s Milkshake. These are perfectly ordinary milkshakes sporting snot-like flicks of gold.
  • Gold dust on the Black and White cookies, which gives the white side a tRumpish hue.

Where’s the Billionaire’s Barfbags?

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