Our National Shame

Above: would you like some Spam-infused vodka with that?

Look, it’s one thing to be responsible for Ted Cruz, Magic!, and Matt Cooke, but some stains just cannot be washed away:

But Sam Panopoulos, 81, of London, Canada, a small city about halfway between Detroit and Toronto, can take it one step further. He can remember inventing what’s now one of the most popular pizzas in the world: the Hawaiian pizza.

I know that any apology I could offer on behalf of my nation would be hopelessly inadequate. I go to the box, and I feel shame. At least ketchup-flavored potato chips don’t seem to have caught on south of the border…