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How To Be A Good New Englander


So I’ve spent the last few days moving to Providence. It’ll be a few more before blogging is back to normal. As I presently have internet access, I need some assistance. Perhaps you all can help.

I want to be embrace my new status as a New Englander. Obviously, the only way I can do this is to be as obnoxious as possible. I’ve picked up a few tips already:

1. Work on the accent
2. Root for the “Sawx”
3. Say “wicked” a lot
4. Talk about how I never go west of the Hudson. I realize this might be more of a New York thing, but I’m from Oregon so it might as well be the same thing.

Driving around a lot the last few days, I’ve learned lesson 5–be a complete asshole while driving. Hard for a west coast boy do that, but I can work on it.

So–what else do I need to do? How else can I be a completely over the top New Englander? Do I have any hope for my life goal?

In a related question, I’ve read in a few places that Rhode Island has unique cuisine, including someone claiming it was second only to Louisiana in uniqueness. While anyone who has been to New Mexico knows that is absurd, is there anything to this claim? I know it has good Italian food, but that’s hardly unique. So what the heck is this Rhode Island cuisine?

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