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I Come Not to Bury Caesar, But to Jeterate Him

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Joe Posnanski, on how he wants to like Derek Jeter, but..

So why is it that I’m often writing negative things about Derek Jeter? I realized Friday that it has absolutely nothing to do with Jeter himself. No, what drives me batty is that Jeter — maybe because of his star power, or maybe because he’s a Yankee, or maybe because he’s made some very big plays on the national stage, or maybe because he dated all the supermodels, I honestly don’t know what it is — Jeter brings out this quality in people, this superiority, this … it just drives me insane I don’t know if there’s a word for this quality so, as we do here, I’m going to invent a word.

Jeterate (verb) meaning “to praise someone for something of which he or she is entirely unworthy of praise.”

Example: “The father could not but jeterate his daughter for coloring on the wall because she looked so cute.”

Or: “The employee, knowing his job was on the line, jeterated his boss for almost making a 3-foot putt. ‘That was an incredible putt,“ the employee said. ”With that intense break, I doubt Tiger Woods would have even lipped out like you did.“

Or: “The doctor jeterated his patient for not actually gaining any more weight since the visit four days earlier.”

This requires some mild edits; I write negatively about Jeter because I hate him, and “because he dated all those supermodels” should obviously be replaced with “because he infected all those supermodels with herpes”, but otherwise I think I concur with the gist of the argument.

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