Home / General / And the 2018 Nobel Prize for Literature Goes To….Roy Moore!

And the 2018 Nobel Prize for Literature Goes To….Roy Moore!


As a cultural elite, I just love poetry. Yep, this professor can’t get enough of the white people rhyming on the page. Or not rhyming, which seems even more pointless, but I digress. Anyway, since as a cultural elite and of course a LIBERAL, I am not supposed to judge anyone, lest I be accused of cultural insensitivity. And lord knows, it’s very important to me to not be judged, otherwise I might be invited to dinner parties where other white liberals wonder how people could vote for THAT MAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE!!!! Anyway, because of all of this, I have to respect the fine verse of Judge and soon to be senator Roy Moore of the great state of Alabama.

Moore later read one of his poems — about how America is falling apart.

Some choice lines:

“Babies piled in dumpsters, abortion on demand,
Oh, sweet land of liberty, your house is on the sand.”

“We’ve voted in governments that are rotting to the core,
Appointing Godless judges who throw reason out the door.
Too soft to put a killer in a well deserved tomb,
But brave enough to kill that child before he leaves the womb.

You think that God’s not angry, that our land’s a moral slum?
How much longer will it be before His judgment comes?”

Friends, this is a real voice of the people here. A true statesman of the heartland. I used to support eating falfalel, but then I realized I was supporting terrorism and probably abortion too, which is of course the same thing. Now I only eat McDonald’s, just like Real Americans. Based upon my observations and my sensitivity to the cultural needs of the Alabama Republican Party, I am sure to lead Democrats back on a path to electoral success based upon ignoring the needs of women and minorities so that white men who love Roy Moore will feel good about their race and their poetic license.

God Bless America.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google+
  • Linkedin
  • Pinterest
It is main inner container footer text