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ESPN Blows It

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Screenshot 2014-08-25 13.47.51If Marcus Mariota makes a dime off this, then my enjoyment of college football will be ended forever.

Oregon is selling 25 different jerseys, counting colors and sizes, of No. 8, quarterback Marcus Mariota…

The NCAA and its schools have long contended that numbers don’t necessarily correspond to current players, but common sense, as proven by all the cases above, suggests otherwise.

I think it’s grossly irresponsible for ESPN to imply that the popularity of the number “8” with fans of Oregon football has anything whatsoever to do with Marcus Mariota. In fact, had Darren Rovell managed even the faintest degree of due diligence on this matter, he would have come to understand the deep connection that many in Eugene have to “The Sideways Infinite.” It’s not my job to explain things to ESPN, but let’s just say that a lot of drugs are involved.

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  • Warren Terra

    I just checked, because I was curious to see if the NCAA’s rules meant they were managing to exploit one of the most valuable and marketing-savvy stars ever: if you are a fan of UNC-Chapel Hill basketball and wish to wear an official replica jersey, your options are #15, #35, and #43. Michael Jordan’s #23 is not among them – I suppose meaning either that thirty years is a long time or that Michael Jordan has a lot scarier lawyers than does Marcus Mariota.

    Of course, the extremely arbitrary selection of 15, 35, and 43 suggests to me that other specific people are being referenced, akin to Oregon.

    • KadeKo

      There’s always answer c: Jordan doesn’t have any eligibility at risk. But, yeah, I catch your drift.

      Appropros of nothing, a number of years ago at the UConn co-op one could buy a #3 jersey for “your favorite player!”

      For the women’s basketball team.

      Diana Taurasi, one of the very few sure things to come out of collegiate womens’ hoops, found herself in the same position as Johnny Manziel or such.

      How deep does this thing go?

      • Rudolph Schnaubelt

        It’s turtles all the way down.

        When you stop being a university and become an entertainment content producer for corporate dollars shameless exploitation is a daily occurrence.

        Just create a “junior division” NFL for these kids until they are physically ready for the big show. It has nothing to do with a university. Big time sports has no place in a real university. It corrupts and undermines the more important work for mere money.

  • NonyNony

    See, that isn’t an 8. It’s just two squares. Stacked one on top of the other. Perhaps it represents a window. A window into the soul of Oregon Football.

    I mean, it would be ludicrous to suggest that Oregon is putting a number on their jerseys. That’s just silly. They purposefully have chosen an abstract symbol to stick on their jerseys to preserve the amateur status of their players.

    Muck like Ohio State. That isn’t a 5 on those jerseys that ESPN highlights. It’s just an abstract representation of the Ohio River as it curves its way downstream.

  • CaptBackslap – YOLO Edition

    When you’ve sunk so low that Darren Rovell is calling bullshit on your corporatespeak, it’s time to pack up and go home.

  • Linnaeus

    The real issue is how ugly the jerseys are.

  • Gwen

    From the comments: “That is because Mariota is 25 times better than all other QBs!!!! Go Ducks!!!!”

    This has been your daily reminder to never read the comments.

  • JustRuss

    Only 25 different jerseys? The Ducks’ designers have been slacking off lately.

  • Order Today! Dial 1-800-FUK-A-DUK.

    Do I want the Ducks to lose every game? Do I want the Ducks to win every game except vs. Beavers? Do I want the Ducks to win every regular season game, then have their helmets handed them by some southern football powerhouse? Decisions, decisions.

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