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The World’s Most Dangerous Perfesser!

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As you may have noticed, some underlings of the nation’s preeminent racist concentration camp apologist attempted to send her flying monkeys against me for daring to call a highly partisan judge who believes that the Constitution enacted Ms. Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged a “neoconfederate hack.” Alas, even the most permanently aggrieved winger must have trouble generating outrage over use of the word “hack,” and the typical Twitchy reader presumably considers “neoconfederate” a compliment (or an insult only because of the “neo.”) So the whole the whole attempt to get another head on a stick was a big fizzle.

This isn’t to say, however, that some comedy gold did not result! Meet a young Canadian reactionary, bidding fair to be the poor man’s Adam Yoshida, or perhaps the homeless man’s Ezra Levant, who tried to catch Ms. Malkin’s eye with some deep research:

@TwitchyTeam Look at @LemieuxLGM’s profile. “Perfesser” or professor? #SpellingMistake? #TheStateofAcademia pic.twitter.com/hG6pBQWT

An entertaining if somewhat broad parody of the typical Twitchy reader, thinks I. But further consultation of the gentleman’s twitter feed reveals the hilarious truth: he believes that me calling myself “perfesser” in my one line twitter profile indicates that I am unaware of the proper spelling of “professor.” (They’re coming for you next, Edroso!) And WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT THE STATE OF MODERN ACADEMIA, I ask you? Unless this guy’s mother also helped create the Lewinsky scandal I don’t think he can quite cut it at the National Review, but he probably has an internship waiting for him at Col. Mustard’s place.

In conclusion, I believe that “perfesser” lacks gravitas. I now demand to be referred to as “Herr Doktor* Lemieux.”

*Note to any Michelle Malkin fans: I do not think this is the proper English spelling of “doctor.” I regret the confusion. Also, I do not think William Jacobson is a character from Clue.

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  • Spokane Moderate

    Are you a perfesser of dangeral studies?

    • wjts

      Between Loomis and Lemieux, this whole blog is turning into a freakin’ Dangeral Studies Jamberoo.

      • Spokane Moderate

        wjts, I’d like to buy your rock.

  • IM

    Also, I do not think William Jacobson is a character from Clue.

    Don’t bet on it.

    • DocAmazing

      Oh, I think the one thing that Jacobson lacks is a Clue.

      • UberMitch

        “One thing”?

        • DrDick

          The most important thing anyway.

    • Frau Jacobson has been heard to describe her man as “Mrs. Pea Cock.”

  • Njorl

    Pfft. “Her” has only one “r”, “doctor” is spelled with a “c” and if you think that Michelle Malkin will let you be her doctor, forget it. She doesn’t need any doctor. Have you seen her cheerleader video?

    • DrDick

      I did and I needed a doctor for severe nausea afterwards.

  • DocAmazing

    Between The Donalde and the hordes at Twitchy, you, Dr. Loomis, and the whole LGM crew have a shot at wingnut immortality.

    (I’m merely evil, though that does comfort me on cold nights.)

    • It’s all very exciting.

      • SEK

        Reading the comments over there did make me think, though, that our production company, even if that basically amounts to me at the moment, needs a name, you know:

        Lawyers, Guns & Money Presents …

        … A Head on a Stick Production
        … An Internet Tradition Production
        … A Pancakes for Jenny Production

        Someone more clever needs to come up with something more clever.

        • It should be clear which of those I support.

        • Hogan

          For Erik’s, Control of the Means of Production Productions?Or Historical Dildos Productions?

          Coffee-Drinking Elitist Productions?

          • I like Control of the Means of Production Productions a good bit.

        • rea

          Traditional Pancakes on Stick Productions

        • Origami Isopod

          Chafed Walrus Productions.

          • S_noe

            You’ve won my vote if we’re voting.

          • Leeds man

            Syphilitic Walrus, shurely?

            • Mike Schilling

              Goo goo ga joob

        • Njorl

          Nowadays they cycle down through a few different nouns, like:

          Lawyers, Guns & Money Presents …

          … A Head on a Stick Production
          … An Internet Tradition film
          … From Pancakes for Jenny Studios

    • DrDick

      The site itself may become the Wingnut Mordor!

  • howard

    It’s amazing how old dutch looked to me then; now that i’m within a decade or so of his age then, he looks much younger!

  • John Protevi

    Most dangerous, eh? These doctorsDoktors would like a word with you!

    Doctor #1

    Doctor #2

    • rea

      I thought Berube was the most dangerous, but maybe those other guys qualify, too.

      • I was dangerous by the much lower standards of aught-six. But this is a whole new order of dangerosity … there’s just no comparison. It’s like, how much more dangeral can you get than LGM? And the answer is none. None more dangeral.

        • mark f

          Don’t sell yourself short; your efforts had a hand in correlating LGM’s dangerealness.

          • And here I thought that to everyone I meet, I stay a stranger.

      • DocAmazing

        You’ve got the wrong man, mister! He spells his name “Danger”!

        • Tehanu

          Then how about “No Anchovies Productions”?

          • Epist

            Audrey Farber?

    • Personally, I’m shocked Doctor Doom didn’t make the list ahead of the Sorcerer Supreme. Though perhaps you are arguing that the title is an honorific? I admit it’s not clear to me whether he actually finished his dissertation before embarking on world domination.

      • John Protevi

        So many doctors, so few links in any one comment!

      • wjts

        I share your outrage. I seem to remember Stephen Strange expressly turning down a teaching position following the car accident that robbed him of his surgical talents. He was never a professor of any sort.

        I think Curt Connors might have taught at ESU for a while, though. THERE’S a dangerous professor.

      • Hogan

        I’m pretty sure Doctor Octopus earned it.

  • I know a lot of liberals, like Balloon Juice’s DougJ, enjoy trolling conservative blogs… but I don’t feel like we have the same unified command and control “Fly, my minions, FLY!” thing going on. I guess they feel like they are edumacating* the masses or whatever but it just seems like such a colossal waste of time to crash en masse into an opponents comments section. I suppose the virtual high fives they give each other after much be pretty special.

    *Note: Purposely misspelled by the author

    • Anonymous

      If it would give liberals something to argue about with each other, then you’d see some action. Otherwise, can’t be bovvered.

      • Jewish Steel

        The above was me. Musta cleaned out all of my cookies or something.

  • Derelict

    Sometimes I really feel sorry for Malkin’s followers. They’re so easily mislead, so gullible, and yet so vociferous. It feels like taunting a developmentally disabled kid to get them riled up about something.

    On the other hand, I’m definitely looking forward to finding out exactly what kind of countertops Scott has!

    • cpinva

      i have no sympathy at all, for people who are intentionally ignorant bigots. if i thought they were simply uninformed, that would be one thing, but they aren’t, they very intentionally ignore any information that doesn’t comport with their world view. malkin is just another rightwing grifter, happily siphoning cash from the rubes. or maybe she’s finally reached a place where she actually believes the bullshit she spouts, and happily takes their money. either way, it doesn’t matter, it’s bullshit, and her fanboys are intentional rubes. oh, and they’re never going to see her naked.

      • DrDick

        I do hold out the possibility that they are merely severely brain damaged as a result of their mothers dropping them on their heads as infants. From a tenth floor window. Repeatedly.

  • LassMichInRuhe

    Actually, I think it is spelled “Perfessuh”.

  • Tnap01

    Holy shit, a quick Google shows that Adam Yoshida was probably still alive as of Sept. 1 2012. I thought the dude died from a erotic asphyxiation accident sometime around 2007!

  • rea

    “Neoconfederate hack” is putting it mildly. Judge Sentelle is the one who gave us Kenneth Starr as the special prosecutor invetigating Clinton, having concluded that Robert B. Fiske, a Republican and experienced prosecutor who had already found no wrongdoing in several aspects of Whitewater, was insuficently objective.

  • CD

    “Lemieux” is an obvious typo.

    • calling all toasters

      It definitely needs umlauts.

    • Dave

      Clearly, it should be ‘Lepire’, but you’d need to know French to know that….

  • somethingblue

    Well, all the boys call him Herr Doktor Professor Lemieux. But the girls all call him a little ol’ lovin’ man …

    • Alan Tomlinson

      That would be, Herr Professor Doktor; get it right.

      Regards,

      Alan Tomlinson
      (who had a cousin with that title)

      • somethingblue

        That may be how they roll over in Yurp, Dude, but not here in the Land of Freedom™.

    • S_noe

      I think it might be antiquated now (God, I hope so), but the wife of a PhD can be addressed as “Frau Doktor” (Mrs Doctor) in German. Theoretically, if she herself has a doctorate, you could call her “Doktor Frau Doktor So-und-so.” My mother claims to have been so addressed in correspondence from some German fuddy-duddies. I am skeptical, but those guys were really formal. – it could have happened.

      • Alan Tomlinson

        You are invited to abandon your skepticism–that shit’s real. The first part anyway. If the woman has her own Ph.D. or M.D., then she would still be called Frau Doktor _____. The real fun is when you have somebody who has two doctorates: such people are, I shit you not, called Frau/Herr Doktor Doktor _______.

        Cheers,

        Alan Tomlinson

        • DocAmazing

          “Doktor” or “Doktorin”?

          • Alan Tomlinson

            Doktor. I know, it was formerly declined by gender; no longer. At least in my experience. Besides, when you hear the word Frau, it is sort of assumed that the person being discussed is gender identifying as female.

            Cheers,

            Alan Tomlinson

            • Mostly you would say Herr Doktor or Frau Doktor or Fred.

              Where it got to be fun, was when holders of non-EU PhDs were hauled into court in ~2008 for using a title they were not entitled to.

              Strictly speaking the German degree is not a PhD, so folks style themselves Herr Doktor Fred Fred rer. nat.

        • mds

          The real fun is when you have somebody who has two doctorates: such people are, I shit you not, called Frau/Herr Doktor Doktor

          Indeed, who can forget Frau Doktor Doktor Gimmi Thenüs?

          • FlipYrWhig

            Or Herr Doktor Doktor Kantu C. Aimbürning-Bürning.

        • Mike Schilling

          Doktor Doktor, I been abused
          The culprit’s Perfessor Herr Lemieux

          • H. Rumbold, Master Barber

            Nationalgymnasiummuseumsanatoriumandsuspensoriumsord-inaryprivatdocentgeneralhistoryspecialprofessordoctor Kriegfried Ueberallgemein

            • Hogan

              Beethoven, Mozart, Chopin, Liszt, Brahms, Panties…I’m sorry…Schumann, Schubert, Mendelssohn and Bach. Names that will live for ever. But there is one composer whose name is never included with the greats. Why is it that the world never remembered the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-Schplenden-Schlitter-Crasscrenbon-Fried-Digger-Dingle-Dangle-Dongle-Dungle-Burstein-von- Knacker-Thrasher-Apple-Banger-Horowitz-Ticolensic-Grander-Knotty-Spelltinkle-Grandlich-Grumblemeyer-Spelterwasser-Kurstlich-Himbleeisen-Bahnwagen-Gutenabend-Bitte-ein-Nürnburger-Bratwustle-Gerspurten-mitz-Weimache-Luber-Hundsfut-Gumberaber-Shönedanker-Kalbsfleisch-Mittler-Aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?

  • UberMitch

    You know who else used German honorifics?

    • John Protevi

      Excellent use of that internet tradition!

    • Hogan

      Frau Bluecher? (Nee-ee-eeigh!)

    • wjts

      The Margrave of Baden-Pforzheim?

    • Anonymous

      Frank Marshall Davis?

    • DrDick

      Meine Urgrossfvateren?

    • rea

      Friedrich der Grosse, inventor of fast food?

    • Njorl

      Nachrichtenubermittlungs-oberfuhrer Adler?

    • BigHank53

      Die Antwoord?

      • Joseph Slater

        Die Bart Die!

        • Hogan

          No one who speaks German could be evil!

      • RhZ

        That’s Dutch, dude. Geez.

        • herr doktor bimler

          Niederländische is just another German dialect.

          • IM

            Don’t tell them…

            People are irrational. There are even some who – for whatever possible reason – deny that Yiddish is just another german dialect.

        • herr doktor bimler

          It’s surprising how annoyed Afrikaaners get when you call their language dialect Dutch.

    • snarkout

      Meister Eckhart?

      • somethingblue

        Aaron Eckhart?

      • elm

        Burgermeister Meisterburger?

    • herr doktor bimler

      Just one little experiment with unwilling human subjects and you never hear the last of it.

    • herr doktor bimler

      Hitlerjugendleiter Benedict XVI?

    • Jewish Steel

      How do I tell a doubly doktored frau that I have a bad case of loving her? Formally?

      • Epist

        “Doctor, Doctor, can’t you see I’m burnin, burin”

        But you knew that, didn’t you…

      • herr doktor bimler

        A bad case? Use the genitive rather than the accusative.

        • Jewish Steel

          Oof! Did not see that coming.

      • CD

        I know you like it, you like it on top
        Tell me, momma, are you gonna stop?

  • Daniel

    Maybe perfesser was an honest mistake, but what about your article “B-Yond tha Contra-majorit-aryan Difficultee: Lesons From Deemokratik Theeree?” And that got published!!!! #TheStateofAcademia

  • rea

    Now this is amusing. From a 2010 Supreme Court oral argument–the Chief Justice wonders why the NLRB doesn’t have a quorum:

    NEAL KATYAL, DEPUTY SOLICITOR GENERAL: They were named in July of last year. They were voted out of committee in October. One of them had a hold and had to be renominated. That renomination took place. There was a failed quorum — a failed cloture vote in February. And so all three nominations are pending. And I think that underscores the general contentious nature of the appointment process with respect to this set of issues.

    CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: And the recess appointment power doesn’t work why?

    • ‘CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: And the recess appointment power doesn’t work why?”

      Shorter

      “Fucking Magnets, how do they work?”

      • rea

        No, more like–“Go ahead and fill the positions by recess appointment, as the Constitution allows.”

        • Cody

          No, more like–”Go ahead and fill the positions by recess appointment, as the Constitution allows.”

          “John Roberts: I can stop Obama from appointing people? It’s clear to anyone who has done deep studying – which I now have – that this is unconstitutional!”

  • I apologize for my prediction yesterday coming true

  • Thanks for including Ezra Levant. He deserves it.

  • mark f

    Meh, one of the Power Line guys bought his kid a job at NRO. Their standards have fallen.

  • Aaron Baker

    Well, Lemieux, you are vulnerable on the spelling front.

  • commie atheist

    Michelle Malkin? You mean the Kapo wannabe?

  • Anonymous

    More inexplicable Mses.

  • NorthLeft12

    A young Canadian reactionary?

    If that is true, I cannot believe the philosophically pure reactionaries at Ms. Malkin’s corner of the internet did not immediately call him/her out. As I love pointing out to my “Conservative” family, friends and co-workers; we are pretty much all socialists up here…..at least compared to the idealogues you have down south.

    I can only conclude that this chap/lady is really an American who has just come off a vacation in some other part of the world that he did not want to be identified as a US citizen.

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