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Dozens and Dozens of Black People

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Charlie Webster, Chair of the Maine Republican Party:

In some parts of rural Maine, there were dozens, dozens of black people who came in and voted on Election Day. Everybody has a right to vote, but nobody in town knows anyone who’s black. How did that happen? I don’t know. We’re going to find out….

I’m not politically correct and maybe I shouldn’t have said these voters were black, but anyone who suggests I have a bias toward any race or group, frankly, that’s sleazy.

As a Democrat, let me say how much I love this version of the Republican Party. Can I suggest a prominent speaking role for Webster at the 2016 Republican National Convention?

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  • Craigo

    Never thought I’d have a reason to post this.

  • Todd

    Is this a Stephen King story? Mysterious black people from the woods terrorize a Maine town and its local Chamber of Commerce. An uneasy peace, forged in a distant past, collapsed when the woods-people decided to start exercising their franchise. Will there be enough time to drive them back into the forest before the Congressional mid-terms?

    (Tom Selleck to star in a made-for-cable mini-series)

    • Well, Morgan Freeman played an evil military leader in “Dreamcatcher”. Will that do?

    • grouchomarxist

      Charlie has The Shunning.

    • Halloween Jack

      Even King (who has hardly ever met an Magical Negro that he didn’t like) has had African-Americans of the non-magical variety in his books set in Maine–Mike Hanlon in IT, for example.

  • In some parts of rural Maine, there were dozens, dozens of black people who came in and voted on Election Day.

    Why do I have the Thriller video flashing through my brain?

    A-somethin’ evil’s lurking in the dark!

  • Craigo

    He used the “I have a black friend” defense! not only that, he plays basketball with the guy! I’ve damned near got bingo already.

    • Keaaukane

      I have a Black girlfriend in Canada is also an acceptable defense.

      • Bill Murray

        you have to throw in a “you wouldn’t know her” or that you met her at summer camp

        • Don’t laugh, Bill. I got to fourth base with her.

          Fourth!

      • Pestilence

        Not to his wife it isn’t

    • Halloween Jack

      I’m wondering why he didn’t just ask his “friend” about this.

    • anonymous

      “I even let him use my bathroom!”

  • Murc

    This clown is a state party chair?

    The best part of his rant is how cheerfully non-specific it is. Name names, Mister Webster. “Some parts” of “rural” Maine. What counties? What precincts? There are literally dozens of reporters (not to mention folks in law enforcement) who would love a confirmed story of massive voter fraud. That would be a sexy story, you’d be in the news for weeks. It could hobble Obama permanently if his campaign were involved.

    So c’mon. Share details.

    • Rick Massimo

      A single white person who went to vote and found someone had already voted using his name would be a start.

      DOZENS OF VOTES.

    • Warren Terra

      Given that the only time state party officials make the news it’s for something humiliating (and I think it’s basically GOP state part officials, but maybe my information sources are biased), it seems to me that they’d do better to abolish the executive positions associated with the state parties.

      • RedSquareBear

        With the centralization of the parties (and the state party’s lack of any sort of identity as things-in-themselves) it surprises me too.

        But there would be a huge first mover penalty, “Robble robble robble, taking their marching orders from Worshington Dee Cee, robble robble robble!”.

        (And, for once, I will actually say that both sides would be equally guilty of that.)

    • JoyfulA

      One of my reasons for liking political canvassing is encountering people I didn’t know were around. In the suburban-exurban areas I’ve been living in lately, I’m likely to naturally encounter only those next door and across the street, and I’m much happier knowing blacks, Hispanics, and Asians are nearby. Then again, other voters might be surprised to see a half-veiled woman next in line.

      • mch

        Same here for canvassing. You learn so much about your own (or nearby) neighborhoods and communities. Even when nobody seems to be home! The houses, yards, a thousand details add up to insights. Someone should collect canvassers’ stories! (No, I take that back, let’s not reify and novelize it all.)

        Like the way a few black people may be living in a struggling, working class, very white neighborhood. Or, to leave aside canvassing…. In the church I attended for many years here in rural New England I met all kinds of people I never would have known otherwise, including black folks (several of whom could trace their ancestors to the earliest days of this town, btw) whom I have NEVER seen (in my town of 6,000) outside of church. Including at the voting place (we have just one). So, as a middle class white person in this small NE town, I (and my children, born here) could have gone all my life unaware of their existence, much less their deep roots in this town (greatly deeper than my own), but for going to this particular church. Depends on the chances of your life whether you’d recognize all sorts of people at the polls, even in a small NE town.

        An interesting thing about small v. big town. Brooklyn may still be the biggest little town in America. Truly little towns can be surprisingly big, if big means variety and lots of unknown.

        • JoyfulA

          I do have to admit I’m not a very efficient canvasser. If people are inclined to chat, I sit with them on the front step and talk. The world is interesting.

          • mch

            Yes. And the dogs. I’ve wondered how many votes (people who actually got out to vote) I may have won for Elizabeth Warren because I’m not afraid of dogs, respect and/but want to love all dogs, even pit bulls.

  • tonycpsu

    The Stephen Colbert “black friend” segment pretty much writes itself.

    • Cody

      I just assumed “Charlie Webster” was Stephen Colbert’s new stage name.

  • David Duke is ashamed of this party right now.

    • DocAmazing

      Is it too late to toss in a Maine Coon Hound joke?

      • Hogan

        Oh my no.

  • ploeg

    The urban vote apparently extends much farther than we previously thought.

    • CD

      +1

  • but anyone who suggests I have a bias toward any race or group, frankly, that’s sleazy.

    I’m sorry, but I CANNOT stop laughing.

    • “I’m not racist, but….”

      • Hogan

        “…I’m totally racist.”

        • Walt

          This isn’t fair. His black Canadian girlfriend was there, and would totally back him up, but she’s back home in Saskatchewan, where they don’t have phones.

          • Hey I’m from Saskatchewan and we do have phones

      • “some of my closest friends are.”

  • The only right-wing site that memeorandum shows as linking to this is Stupidest Man Jim Hoft’s, where all his commenters believe this to be true.

  • Incontinentia Buttocks

    According to the US census there are thousands of black people in rural Maine. [h/t University of Oklahoma’s Keith Gaddie for posting this to FB]

    • ….scaring the bejabbers out of people like Charlie Webster.

    • Malaclypse

      According to the US census

      Would that be the Census conducted under Obama? I heard ACORN ran the whole thing.

    • John

      Perhaps, although it depends what you mean by “rural Maine.”

      According to the census, there are 15,707 Black people in Maine. But of those, 4,684 live in Portland and 3,174 in Lewiston, which would not qualify as “rural Maine” by any definition. So that leaves only 7,849 in the rest of the state. Another 3,208 live in other substantial towns that probably wouldn’t qualify as “rural” by Maine standards. So that leaves only 4,641 living in rural Maine. And only a certain percentage of those would be eligible to vote – so maybe 3,000? I guess that’s still “thousands,” but not very many thousands.

      Still enough for dozens of Black people to be voting in rural Maine, of course.

      • NonyNony

        You have to apply the “idiot-to-English” translator to his statement:

        In some parts of rural Maine,

        Translation: This one guy told me …

        there were dozens, dozens of black people

        Translation: … he saw two black people …

        who came in and voted on Election Day.

        Translation: … on Fox New on election day. I think they were Black Panthers in Philadelphia or something.

        Everybody has a right to vote,

        Translation: I don’t think everybody has a right to vote.

        but nobody in town knows anyone who’s black.

        Translation: I am a racist moron with my head stuck so far up my ass I can taste my spleen.

        • John

          Oh, no question. The lack of any details to the story, and the fact that it makes no sense on its face – if Democrats were trying to steal elections, why would they send Black people to rural Maine – indicate that this guy is a moron.

          But it really is true that there are very, very few Black people in rural Maine.

      • Visitor

        1. Thanks for bringing the facts!

        2. Not disputing your main (oops) point, but — have you ever been to Lewiston? It’s kinda big for a rural town, so you’d have to maybe blink three times in a row to miss it… (note that there are some nice restaurants right by the river, worth a stop)

    • mark f

      Dear god it’s worse than he realized.

  • Bart

    And they’re all yelling, “Where the white women at?”

  • Hogan

    Binders full of women, and dozens and dozens of black people. Get me something for gays and Latinos, and I’ll write the ads myself.

    • Brandon C.

      +1

      This meme needs to spread.

  • Rick Massimo

    WOW have I had it with people saying “I’m not politically correct” like they’re a) bragging or b) playing the victim.

    • Bill Murray

      see I thought he was just restating he was a Republican

  • DrDick

    I have to say that this is an awesomely well orchestrated voter fraud operation given that they actually got dozens! of black people up to the Maine woods to vote illegally. That might almost swing a county commissioner race in rural eastern Montana.

  • meese

    “I’m not politically correct…”

    GAAAAAAAAA! (sticks fingers in ears) Lalalalalalalala! I can’t hear whatever you’re about to say…..

    • But he is fucking moron, so he has that going for him.

    • McAllen

      What people think they’re saying when they say “I’m not politically correct”: “I don’t kowtow to the establishment and its rules, man!”

      What they’re actually saying: “I’m about to say something a white southern sheriff might have said 60 years ago”

      • Sharon

        No, it’s pretty much, “I’m proud of being rude to people!”

        • NonyNony

          I thought it was “Hey everybody! Look at me! I’m an asshole! Did you hear me? I SAID I’M A GIANT ASSHOLE!”

          • Uncle Kvetch

            “Hey everybody! Look at me! I’m an asshole! Did you hear me? I SAID I’M A GIANT ASSHOLE!”

            Thank you, Ms. Coulter, you’ve made your point. Now please sit down.

  • Some Guy

    This is the same Maine Republican Party who’s plan to win the US Senate seat was to attack their opponent for having played World of Warcraft.
    She plays an ORC ROGUE!! OOOOooooooo!!

    “Junior Varsity” might be to strong a phrase to describe their league. Is there a ‘Freshman Reserve’ league?

  • rea

    Obama carried Maine by 107,000 votes, so there would have to be more than 107,000 of these black voters bussed in to affect the outcome. There would have been long lines of busses full of black voters backed up on the freeways at the borders.

    And just think how many black voters Obama must have bussed into California to win there!

    • Anonymous

      I can confirm that there were no black residents in LA county prior to November 6, 2012. Stolen!!1!

    • kg

      Why that’s 8,917 dozen! Plausible!

  • Pestilence

    The perfect VP nominee

    • Malaclypse

      By 2016, “I have a black friend” will mean he can’t win the primary.

      • Pestilence

        win

  • Linnaeus

    Hm, I don’t see how Romney could have lost because everyone I know voted for him.

    • Ken

      Peggy? Is that you?

      • Pestilence

        no it’s Medoc

  • Gone2Ground

    I would love to ask this subgenius why the Obama campaign bussed dozens of black people to swing the state that is notably white. White enough, in fact, to engender some pretty high dudgeoun outta the white guys when they saw all the blahs….

    I mean, if there was deliberate action by the Dems, doesn’t it seem logical they would have bussed in, oh, I don’t know, white people?

    • NonyNony

      I would love to ask this subgenius why the Obama campaign bussed dozens of black people to swing the state that is notably white.

      He’s an idiot and he’s projecting how he would commit voter fraud if he had a legion of devoted followers who were ensorcelled to his will via Stalinist Mind Control Techniques.

      His plan would be stupid, so the plan he projects onto Obama is also stupid.

      • Bill Murray

        His plan would be stupid, so the plan he projects onto Obama is also stupid.

        That is the curse of projection

      • Gone2Ground

        Are those anything like the Agenda 21 Mind Control Techniques? ‘Cause I want to know before I go to my next City Council meeting if they’re gonna try to mind control me. I heard on Glenn Beck that that’s Obama’s new secret plan.

    • ajay

      I mean, if there was deliberate action by the Dems, doesn’t it seem logical they would have bussed in, oh, I don’t know, white people?

      But there aren’t any white people who vote Democrat. Except maybe a few college professors, a couple of hippies, Alec Baldwin and Teh Gays.

      • STH

        But what about the slut vote, bought with free contraceptives?

        WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE SLUTS?!?!

  • Gone2Ground

    I know, I’m assuming that logic is even in this guy’s neighborhood.

    • NonyNony

      “Nobody in town knows anyone who’s black logic!”

      • Anna in PDX

        So, logically…

        • RedSquareBear

          So, logically…

          You can’t get there from here.

    • In some places in rural Maine, there are dozens, dozens of syllogisms.

      But not in his neighborhood.

  • Nathan of Perth

    Suddenly, black people!

    EVERYWHERE!

  • ADVISOR: Look, we’ve got this in the bag. We know where to tip the election, we’ve got the buses, and we’ve got a bunch of nice fresh-faced college kids to tip the iffy districts.

    OBAMA: No. Scratch the kids. I want everyone to KNOW where the vote is coming from. Get me Kenya.

    • S_noe

      we’ve got a bunch of nice fresh-faced college kids to tip the iffy districts.

      “Slutty coeds” is funnier.

  • STH

    My favorite part of it is the “investigation” he’s going to conduct with his own money into this obvious voter fraud.

    Wasn’t O.J. Simpson going to “investigate” who killed his wife?

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