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Conservatives Cheer for Detroit?

[ 142 ] October 27, 2012 |

I was sure that Mark Judge had the stupidest sports column of the year wrapped up for his Bryce Harper, Conservative Hero piece. But the Howler clearly wants to up the ante. And thus we have Matt Lewis arguing that conservatives should root for Detroit over San Francisco in the World Series. That conservatives hate San Francisco is no surprise. The glory of this is in why Detroit is really a good conservative city:

Detroit has real people who work hard for their money and cherish their jobs. Detroit loves hockey. Detroit loves to buy American. Detroiters like their boats and their beers. You do not ask to see the wine list in the bars around Comerica Park. Pabst Blue Ribbon, please. Tall boys.

Awesome. Conservatives are happy to let GM and Chrysler go bankrupt, but they have no shame in talking about how Detroit is where real Americans live. Conservatives want to outsource every American job to China, but they love American-buying Detroit residents. And tall boys, well hell, we all know that’s a metaphor for Detroit residents having large penises.

This is also great:

After all, the Auto union member and the hippie/feminist/gay rights activist (take your pick) would kill one another — if they ever met.

Oh right. You mean the last UAW members who you conservatives have tried to destroy? Does that include, say, the friends of Michael Moore? Do they want to beat up feminists and hippies? Or is Lewis stereotyping unions? I’m sure he’s a big fan of Walter Reuther and the social/racial justice programs of the UAW in its heyday so I’m sure we all know the answer…..

In the end, the Bryce Harper piece is actually worse than this. But this is pretty bad.

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  1. vacuumslayer says:

    Does he know there are lots of blah and Muslim people there?

  2. vacuumslayer says:

    There’s gonna come a time when it becomes impossible to parody the wingnut mindset. That time is now.

  3. thebewilderness says:

    They haven’t invested a billion words in those 1968 stereotypes for nuttin’ yanno! Use ‘em or lose ‘em.

  4. losgatosca says:

    The great thing about being unprincipled is that whatever you say or do, there are no principles involved. Or logic, also, too.

  5. JustinV says:

    97.54% of Detroiters voted for Barack Obama in 2008.

    83.96% of San Franciscans voted for Barack Obama in 2008.

    But I appreciate that Matt Lewis is made uncomfortable by homosexuality and is, in turn, comforted by the cartoon idea of conservative trade unionism he has created in his head.

    • JustinV says:

      Sorry, that’s 96.93% voted for the President. 97.53% of those who voted straight ticket voted Democratic.

      • Emily68 says:

        97.53% of those who voted straight ticket voted Democratic.

        I live in Seattle but I went to Ann Arbor for a wedding a few years ago. We had a free night between festivities and we all went to Comerica Park. All the vendors, ushers, etc were wearing blue lapel buttons that said something like “vote the straight D ticket.” I thought WOW, but then I realized they were urging us to vote for Tigers in the All-Star game.

    • John says:

      Well, if you do by metro area, Obama got 75.2% of the two party vote in the Bay Area, while he got only 63.5% of the two party vote in Metro Detroit. And I’m sure these assholes are thinking of the white suburbs of Detroit when they praise the hard-working people of Detroit, and not the largely black city proper.

      • spencer says:

        And I’m sure these assholes are thinking of the white suburbs of Detroit when they praise the hard-working people of Detroit, and not the largely black city proper.

        More precisely, they’re thinking of the city of Warren.

  6. Fighting Words says:

    As somebody who works hard in San Francisco and cherishes his job, this guy can go fnck himself.

    And by the way, most of the wines on those wine lists in S.F. bars are from the U.S. Specifically the Napa Valley which, when my parents lived there, was very conservative – and may still be. You know, winemaking is a billion dollar business.

    This piece is also weird because a good number of the actual players in the Giants organization are from the ubermanly Southeast and Texas.

  7. DocAmazing says:

    To judge from what I’m watching now, Fox News commentators cheer for Detroit.

    • Fighting Words says:

      Well, Tim McCarver is an old St. Louis Cardinal catcher and Joe Buck’s father is the former announcer for the St. Louis Cardinals, so I think they may be just a bit peeved from the NLCS.

      • spencer says:

        Slightly off topic, but Tim McCarver is a terrible baseball announcer, even worse than Joe Morgan.

        He makes me wish DirecTV offered an alternate audio feed with just crowd noise for all their sporting events. I would definitely pay extra for that.

    • Mike G says:

      I’ve noticed the right wing feel free to sneer at NYC again, now that 9/11 isn’t an easy exploit. It’s hard to keep up.

  8. AR says:

    Too bad there is no group where racial and religious minorities, union members, high tech workers, feminists, and left wing intellectuals can join in common cause.

    • PhoenixRising says:

      Yes, we who are high tech workers, feminist, gay left wing religious minorities are really left out in the cold when it comes to choosing which athletes to support.

  9. Sue says:

    Can we assume that … some … parts of Detroit are not part of this assessment?
    And how much were those bottles of wine Paul Ryan was enjoying with his lobbyist friends?

  10. mark f says:

    Uhh, San Francisco doesn’t have boats? Or bee?

  11. peorgietirebiter says:

    Hard to imagine the bars around Comerica offering their patrons Pabst in a can. PBR outsourced their brewing to Miller and moved to L.A. years ago. I get the feeling Matt’s comfortable in his knowledge of the other half, because he once watched Deer Hunter with some. guys wearing flannel shirts.

    • I came a hair’s breath from having my wedding in a Pittsburgh legion hall.

      Say what you will, there’s nothing like sterno to keep a pan of ziti just the right temperature.

    • Scott Lemieux says:

      When I went to Comerica, I had a Bell’s Oberon…

    • Barry says:

      PBR was an ironic hipster beer (for those hipsters whose irony outweighs their sense of taste).

      • Hob says:

        No one drinks any significant quantity of beer “ironically.” PBR is popular with stylish young things for one reason: it’s very inexpensive. The only reason anyone thinks this is “ironic” is that most of those stylish young things could easily afford a somewhat pricier, less shitty beer; but the shocking truth is that most people who drink lots of beer with their friends don’t actually care that much about the taste of the beer, any more than they care about being “ironic.”

        • Hob says:

          Actually, “could easily afford” isn’t even right. Everyone I know who fits “hipster” stereotypes (i.e. having a somewhat nerdy thrift-store style and being really into not-widely-popular music) is in at least as financially tenuous a situation as their non-hipster counterparts– so if they want to drink more than a couple of beers at a time, cheap crap is a very sensible option. Some of them are also into good local brews, they just don’t care enough about them to spend 200-300% more per drink when out with friends for the purpose of getting loaded.

          Sorry, this is obviously a pet peeve of mine. The word “hipster” has long outlived any usefulness it ever had, and now it’s mostly used as just another way of making fun of nerds who aren’t the right kind of nerds.

  12. laura says:

    Hockey and shitty beer. Does the guy realize if Canadians had the vote Obama would win in a landslide?

    • Anonymous says:

      If Canadians had the vote Obama would be the right-wing candidate (based on policy positions). But our beer is awesome. Just because you can’t handle the extra alcohol …

      • laura says:

        I live in Canada. Canadian beer is (for the most part) not good.

        • BobS says:

          Years ago (pre 9-11), when exchange rates were quite favorable for Americans, I would make regular trips to Windsor when I got off work late at night to purchase cases of either Labatts Extra Stock or Molson Brador malt liquors (I think it was about 6% etoh) at the duty free tunnel shop. More than half the time I’d get through American customs without having to stop when I assured the border guards I didn’t have anything except beer- they were more concerned with liquor, perfume, and other more expensive items. I made the trip one time with my wife and daughter after a Wings game and got a stern lecture from a guard about Canada not being a liquor store for Americans. When she was done she waved us through.

        • Walt says:

          The beer may not be good, but at least in Canada beer has its own business school.

        • Scott Lemieux says:

          I am from Canada. Canadians tend think that Canadian yellow lager is better than American yellow lager; this is not correct. Jesus, my B.C. friends in college thought Kokanee was good fer Chrissakes. Which isn’t to say that they’re aren’t some good Canadian craft brews (Unibroue, yes.)

      • Craigo says:

        Canadian beer does not have extra alcohol. Canadians measure alcohol by volume, Americans measure it by weight. Since alcohol is less dense than water, equally strong American beers always look weak in comparison. If measured similarly, Canadian and American beer from large companies have more or less the same alcohol content.

        • laura says:

          Yes, but it’s true some of the regional brands have higher content. Quality wise there is no difference between the national Canadian and national American brands. It’s all crap.

        • laura says:

          There’s also less of a market for light beers in Canada which is one reason the “Canadian beers are more alcoholic” myth gets propogated.

        • Another Halocene Human says:

          Ah, that’s what my union brother was wanking on about at the conference. I got him drunk on some high % alcohol beer and he spilled his drink ogling a waitress. I laughed and laughed. “So much for your iron-clad Canadian liver and your honor as a Canadian!”

      • John says:

        If Canadians had the vote the Democratic Party would be well to the left of where it is, and Obama would be too.

  13. Greg says:

    Fun Fact: Employees of NARAL Pro Choice America belong to the UAW.

  14. bph says:

    Sandoval is from Venezuela. ’nuff said.
    Though there is a ECHL team playing in the Cow Palace again…..

    • Fighting Words says:

      Marco Scutaro, Gregor Blanco, and Hector Sanchez are also Venezuelan.

      • BobS says:

        Yeah, but so is Miguel Cabrera, Anabel Sanchez, Omar Infante, and Avisail Garcia, so that’s a wash.
        If it’s true that the right wing has thrown their collective will behind the Tigers, they’ve apparently angered the baseball gods who are clearly unhappy with the way Republicans have fucked up everything they’ve come near in this country.
        I do wish that Matt fucking Lewis was pitching for the Giants tomorrow instead of Matt Cain.

        • rea says:

          And Alex Avila lived in Venezuela as a teenager when his dad was the Marlin’s Latin American scout (and signed Miguel Cabrera).

          The Tigers have made something of a point of signing Venezuela players for the last few years–see also Victor Martinez, Magglio Ordonez, and Carlos Guillen

      • rea says:

        Jose Mijares, though, means that the Giants out-Venezuelan the Tigers by one.

  15. Ken says:

    It really doesn’t matter how many thousands of words conservatives write in an effort to woo Michigan. It won’t outweigh those four little words, “Let Detroit go bankrupt.”

  16. DocAmazing says:

    Well, all that cheering that conservatives did for Detroit doesn’t seem to have prevented a shut-out.

    Adumbrations of November?

  17. Fighting Words says:

    Three more points:

    1. It’s actually Dan Shaunessy (sp) who made the “Detroit has real people” comment. But it is still idiotic, and this guy is still an idiot for believing this horsesh!t.

    2. Do not ever, ever, ever call San Francisco “San Fran.” That just gets my goat.

    3. I will agree on one point. The Detroit Tigers have the best home uniforms and caps in Major League Baseball.

  18. Don K says:

    I’m honored that conservatives consider us residents of the Detroit area to be Real Americans, but that still won’t stop Obama from getting majorities in Wayne County outside the city of Detroit, Oakland County, and probably in Macomb County. That’s number one.

    Number two, it was the UAW that insisted the auto companies add same-sex partnership benefits back in the 90′s, and got the companies to add sexual orientation to their non-discrimination policies.

    Number three, why the love for a place where the executives spent, oh, 50 years or so steadily destroying shareholder value? I thought Republicans liked successful entrepreneurs, of which there are more than a few in the Bay area.

    • Walt says:

      The Republican definition of entrepneurship is owning valuable raw materials and digging them out of the ground.

      • Warren Terra says:

        More like, having the rights to valuable raw materials, and digging the out of someone else’s ground.

        (also works if you substitute “assets” for “raw materials” and “pension fund” for “ground”)

        • Kathleen says:

          Or, The Rethuglican definition of entrepneurship is owning valuable raw materials and digging them out of the ground. paying a fetus from Bangladesh 2 cents a week for digging them out of the ground.

    • Mike G says:

      why the love for a place where the executives spent, oh, 50 years or so steadily destroying shareholder value?

      Being highly paid even though you run an industry into the ground through short-sighted greed, intellectual laziness, cynical corner-cutting shoddy products and stupidity? That’s the corporate Repuke dream.

      • JazzBumpa says:

        This is unfortunately very true.

        And I say that as someone who worked in the industry for 23 years and the supply base the previous 17.

        And yes those execs are Rethugs, to a man [and woman - there are a few.]

    • Barry says:

      “Number three, why the love for a place where the executives spent, oh, 50 years or so steadily destroying shareholder value? I thought Republicans liked successful entrepreneurs, of which there are more than a few in the Bay area.”

      ‘steadily destroying shareholder value’ is not success?

  19. nice strategy says:

    Of course mindless Republicans cheer for the Tigers:
    *brawn over brains? Tigers.
    *hype and nostalgia? Tigers.
    *media as a status quo institution? Tigers.
    *authenticity derived from perception but not reality of demographic change? Tigers.
    *playing by alternative rules that emphasize business values and power over history and strategy? Tigers.
    *about to lose a competition they were supposed to win? Tigers.
    Coolest team in pro sports? GIANTS. Best team in pro sports? GIANTS. The Giants are bigger than the Beatles these days. Cain for the sweep tomorrow. GO GIANTS.

  20. Look, we know this. Right-wingers do not need to use facts or make sense. They tell stories. If the theme or moral of the story is that Democrats, liberals, African-Americans, Latinos, women, all people who make less than $100K/yr, or anyone else they don’t like hates America and should be made to suffer, then to right-wingers, it’s a good story.

    And they will repeat it, post it on facebook, and send it out in e-mails.

  21. M. Bouffant says:

    Looks as I was beaten on this one by a mere 15 mins., but as pointed out above the first blockquote is from a racist hack name of Dan Shaugnessy, typing for the Beantown Globe. The paywall may not let you in, so I quote, w/ my emphasis, one of his more amusing paragraphs:

    Everybody loves San Francisco. It’s easy. The place is awash in what the late, great George Frazier would call duende. San Francisco is European. It’s where white people and black people mingle and nobody makes a big deal of it. It’s where folks are polite at a four-way stop. You go. No, you go. We are all Tony Bennett. We all left our heart there.

    The horror!! Nobody makes a big deal of it?

    Also from Shaughnessy:

    And so we are done with cool and hip for a while. No more kayaks bobbing in McCovey Cove beyond the right-field wall at AT&T Park. No more panda heads looming hilariously behind the on-deck circle when Pablo Sandoval comes to the plate. No more Willie Mays riding on a golf cart like he’s Ted Williams or the Pope. No more flowers in the hair of granola-sprinkled fans. No more sweet smell of weed wafting from the crowd.

    And now I suddenly realize why Willie Mays isn’t as deserving of a golf cart ride as Ted Williams or the Pope.

    And while I wasn’t going to link directly to my item because I have some sense of shame, while using the link to Shaughnessy there I noted that Matt Lewis & The News* removed “patriotic” from this:

    … the Boston Globe’s Dan Shaughnessy inadvertently does a good job summing up why every [redacted] traditional conservative ought to be rooting for MoTown to make a comeback …

    as evidenced in my blockquote of it:

    I don’t mind the beards, but the Boston Globe’s Dan Shaughnessy inadvertently does a good job summing up why every patriotic traditional conservative ought to be rooting for MoTown to make a comeback …

    *Not a joke, that’s how the moron bills himself.

  22. How strange. I know hippie feminist gay rights advocates who are UAW members…and they live in California.

  23. TCinLA says:

    Well of course they love Detroit – it’s in Michigan, where they plan to prevent the right to bargain collectively from becoming part of the state constitution. Can’t have those union scum being protected by the laws, can we?

    • Well, the whole state would be overrun with history’s greatest villains: Union Bosses. For some reason, in the standard American narrative Union Boss, whose purpose is to raise wages and improve working conditions, is considered to be bad, while Corporate Boss, whose purpose is to pay employees as little as possible and lay them off the day they aren’t needed, are considered good.

      I guess it must be the cigars all those Union Bosses smoke. They do stink up the room.

  24. nanute says:

    Well, judging by the result of last night’s game three, let’s hope conservative fair as well as Detroit in the election next week. (If Detroit somehow comes back and wins four straight, I’m leaving the country.)

  25. nanute says:

    Well, judging by the result of last night’s game three, let’s hope conservative fare as well as Detroit in the election next week. (If Detroit somehow comes back and wins four straight, I’m leaving the country.)

  26. Wido Incognitus says:

    You know, you are the one who brought penises into this. That says a lot more about you than it does about the Daily Caller.

  27. Observer says:

    Conservatives are happy to let GM and Chrysler go bankrupt, but they have no shame in talking about how Detroit is where real Americans live.

    Bankruptcy is the legal path provided by the law to try to make already failing businesses viable. An independent judge protects the company from it’s creditors while approving reasonable proposed changes to make the business viable.

    And while all of this is going on, the business continues. Paychecks continue.

    With necessary changes, the business will emerge financially stronger than the failing and faltering business that entered the process.

    And if, despite all efforts to save the business that was headed for certain failure on its own, it cannot be saved, a merger or sale of assets to others will occur. The assets don’t disappear. Someone operates them more efficiently than the previous management.

    It’s a political trick to play on the ignorance of your audience about how bankruptcy works to imply that bankruptcy means everything stops.

    Everything stops without bankruptcy.

    And let’s be clear….Obama pulled GM through an illegal bankruptcy… without an independent judge and depriving bondholders and stockholders of their private property without legal due process.

    Just be more honest about this…unless you, yourself just didn’t know better.

    • Joseph Slater says:

      Let’s be clear about this bogus “illegal” claim: there were no — zero, zip, nada — successful legal challenges to it. But thanks for reminding folks like me — a liberal Tigers fan — what conservatives really think of Detroit. Just another reason Michigan is solidly in Obama’s camp.

      • Observer says:

        I was a stockholder in GM.

        I was informed one day that all-of-a-sudden, by the stroke of the government pen and without a court order, I now had no ownership of GM and instead, there was a new set of GM stock in which I had no legal interest.

        What do you call it?

        • Wido Incognitus says:

          It seems to me that the point of bankruptcy by reorganization is that some stakeholders may be unable to recover their entire claims against an enitity, which would then do business in different forms, so that other interests may prosper.

        • rea says:

          Why are you not in litigation about this, if that’s what you think? There are plenty of lawyers out there who would like a class action with a contingent fee in 7 or 8 figures, if your claim has any arguable legal merit.

          • Observer says:

            Obama has also ordered drone strikes on countries that we have not declared war, has a secret kill list, and lots of other acts that have not been challenged. Doesn’t mean that they are legal, either.

            However, I think all of this is a distraction from my comment about this post that deliberately promotes the lie that bankruptcy is a death sentence and that the business automatically ceases to exist.

            And what’s so wrong about this is the poster is a fookin’ LAWYER…..a law professor.

            It’s dishonest and just wrong in so many ways.

            • the lie that bankruptcy is a death sentence and that the business automatically ceases to exist.

              Who has made such a claim? Certainly not the President, who has made it quite clear that it was bankruptcy without government aid that would have caused the auto sector to disappear.

              • JazzBumpa says:

                Without govt aid, the bankruptcy would have been chapter 7, which I believe means padlock the gates and sell off the assets, because ex-govt there was no funding available.

                Chapter 11 was not an option.

                I got similarly screwed on K-Mart stock several years ago.

                Don’t go to the stock mkt. with money you cant afford to lose.

            • spencer says:

              And what’s so wrong about this is the poster is a fookin’ LAWYER…..a law professor.

              Erik Loomis is neither. You are thinking of Paul Campos. You will note by their different names that they are not in fact the same person.

        • Barry says:

          “I was a stockholder in GM.

          I was informed one day that all-of-a-sudden, by the stroke of the government pen and without a court order, I now had no ownership of GM and instead, there was a new set of GM stock in which I had no legal interest.

          What do you call it?”

          Bankruptcy. Do you not understand a shareholder’s position in bankruptcy? It’s at the end of the line, after *all* creditors.

          • Observer says:

            I think you’ve just made my point.

            There was no legal bankruptcy. No court was not involved. It was all fiat and edict.

            It’s the way of a King.

            • Observer says:

              And just to be clear, bondholders (creditors) were also handily dismissed with Obama’s wave of his scepter.

              • DocAmazing says:

                Hmmm…on the one hand, we have a situation in which stockholders and bondholders get stiffed. On the other, substantially worse unemployment.

                I’m not having much trouble choosing between the two.

                • Observer says:

                  These are decisions that are, by law, left up to the courts, not the executive branch.

                  To do otherwise is to rule.

                  And we are ruled.

                  Deploying armed troops to Africa without consent of Congress…Not defending the laws passed by congress in the courts…taking over whole industries such as banking, insurance and automotive…drone bombing in countries we are not at war with…secret kill lists including American Citizens…the list is too long to complete.

                  You can champion this all you want, but if GWB did any of this, you’d be outraged.

                • Piss off, you obvious troll.

              • Another Halocene Human says:

                Contra what was said above, don’t bondholders get wiped out first? Then stockholders?

                I mean, come on, seriously?

                Then vendors who didn’t get paid, they usually get screwed…

                Jeesus Khrist on a crutch.

            • There was no legal bankruptcy. No court was not involved. It was all fiat and edict.

              What the hell are you talking about?

              You know how I knew you were lying, troll? Because GM’s stock had already been converted into bonds – speculative bonds betting on the possibility that GM, which already had zero value, would gain value.

              Nice try, trolly.

              • Another Halocene Human says:

                Ha ha, even better.

                The troll is trolling because GWB and Barney Frank and the rest of the good old boys saved FMC and FNC’s bondholders and he’s butthurt about not getting the same sweet deal.

        • John (not McCain) says:

          I call it karma. Ain’t it a bitch?

    • Barry says:

      “And while all of this is going on, the business continues. Paychecks continue.”

      No, not when Wall St is in free fall.

    • And if, despite all efforts to save the business that was headed for certain failure on its own, it cannot be saved, a merger or sale of assets to others will occur. The assets don’t disappear. Someone operates them more efficiently than the previous management.

      That’s some lily-gilding right there. The “sale of assets” you are describing is also known as “breaking them up for scrap,” and “operating them more efficiently” is also known as “firing everyone and selling the equipment for whatever you can get.”

    • The court case is In re General Motors Corp., 09-50026, U.S. Bankruptcy Court, Southern District, New York (Manhattan), filed June 1, 2009.

      Judge’s name is Robert Gerber.

      Here is a motion (Google doc) from a class of plaintiffs trying to recover money through the bankruptcy process to repair and replace defective spindle rods in Chevrolet Impalas.

      But they must have only been granted a hearing because one of Obama’s basketball buddies owns an Impala and doesn’t want to pay for replacing his own spindle rods. Despicable tyrant, arbitrary knave.

      • Observer says:

        I stand corrected. I received nothing.

        On the other hand, I’ve never seen a bankruptcy where the government took a large stock position. I have looked at this since your post and it looks like a shell. There is nothing typical about it.

        Maybe I was also wrong about drones bombing in Yemen….not defending DOMA, a law passed by congress….troops sent to Africa without congressional knowledge or approval and secret kill lists.

        I’d really like to be mistaken those things as well.

        Am I also mistaken about these Kingly edicts?

  28. rea says:

    Somebody should take Matt Lewis down to Menjou’s on 6-Mile and see if they can run into Madonna dancing with her gay friends.

  29. Linnaeus says:

    Frankly, this conservative love for Detroit is bullshit. They’ve always despised the city, its people, and its history. It’s just that “San Francisco” is a metonym for that which they despise even more. So if conservatives followed this guy’s lead, it’ll only be for as long as the World Series lasts, which may not be much longer. Then they’ll go right back to hating the city.

    • Frankly, this conservative love for Detroit is bullshit. They’ve always despised the city, its people, and its history.

      What?!?

      Next you’ll be telling me conservatives aren’t actually passionately committed to the spread of democracy in the Muslim world.

  30. dSmith says:

    I am a hippie/feminist/gay rights activist and a member of the UAW Local 2179.

  31. DocAmazing says:

    Well, it looks like conservatism has been failed again.

  32. Marek says:

    Wow, swept in 4, shut out twice. Those Tigers are showing their age.

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