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When Obama Gets the 3 AM Phone Call, What’s Really Important is His Morning Wood

[ 76 ] September 12, 2012 |

Sarah Palin speculates on the size of the presidential penis.

It’s about time our president stood up for America and condemned these Islamic extremists. I realize there must be a lot on his mind these days – what with our economy’s abysmal jobless numbers and Moody’s new warning about yet another downgrade to our nation’s credit rating due to the current administration’s failure to come up with a credible deficit reduction plan. And, of course, he has a busy schedule – with all those rounds of golf, softball interviews with the “Pimp with the Limp,” and fundraising dinners with his corporate cronies. But our nation’s security should be of utmost importance to our Commander-in-chief. America can’t afford any more “leading from behind” in such a dangerous world. We already know that President Obama likes to “speak softly” to our enemies. If he doesn’t have a “big stick” to carry, maybe it’s time for him to grow one.

Also, I’m sorry to remind everyone of Palin’s existence.

Comments (76)

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  1. vacuumslayer says:

    Some people like it when you lead from behind.

  2. rea says:

    Sarah Palin is right, America can’t afford any more “leading from behind” in such a dangerous world. That is why I applaud her impending trip to Libya . . .

  3. Sarah Palin has no idea what Obama should do.

    She just knows that she wants him to be an asshole about it.

  4. mark f says:

    Try Some Cock: It’s The New Balls!

  5. jon says:

    This might be an instructive time to review Obama’s schedule with that of GWB, and W’s unprecedented number of vacation and travel days, and rounds of golf. But it’s also fair to note that performance in the job is not directly linked to hours in the saddle. Palin might want to reflect that Obama is at least managing to finish out his first term.

  6. timb says:

    Meanwhile, on the other right wing front, Jeff Goldstein says we should just nuke….something.

    Can you imagine the revenge of the superpower being the wholesale, indiscriminate murder of millions as payment for the deaths of four?

    Conservatives would have made excellent Romans

    • rea says:

      Conservatives would have made excellent Romans
      No, the Romans usually weren’t damn fools.

    • Davis X. Machina says:

      Meanwhile, on the other right wing front, Jeff Goldstein says we should just nuke….something.

      No tax cuts? Just nuking things?

      He must be a moderate.

    • Leeds man says:

      Conservatives would have made excellent Romans

      I thought Romans offered Roman citizenship before the slaughter.

      • Lurker says:

        Actually, they did that after the slaughter. Those that survived and were not taken as slaves, had a local self-government overseen by the Roman prefect, propretor or proconsul. The Romans allowed the local customs and worship to continue, barring only human sacrifice. (The human sacrifice was too powerful, so it was reserved to the Roman republican institutions for special crisis situations.)

        Then, in the local government, the local officials regularly received the Roman citizenship as a reward for the job well done. As the local offices had usually year-long terms, the citizenship was quite swiftly distributed to the most powerful local families who were thus tied to the Roman power.

        E.g. Saint Paul was from Tarsus, and was a Roman citizen by birth. Considering that his father had the money to send him to study religion in Jerusalem at an early age, he was most likely from a powerful Tarsan Jewish family that had got the citizenship this way.

    • Sly says:

      In fairness to Goldstein, he’s probably only saying that because he has a small cock.

  7. Jim Lynch says:

    The White House should feign disappointment in Palin, and criticize her remarks as being vulgar.

  8. amok92 says:

    I’m not sure with the Glenn Rice thing but are Sarah Von Shtupp reference appropriate?

  9. wengler says:

    Somebody’s been fantasizing about Presidential sticks lately…

  10. proud liberal circlejerker says:

    Sounds like someone wants to relive 2008

  11. Sandy says:

    Half-wit, half-gov.’s memory is as limited as her vocabulary.

    Just STFU and go back to grifting.

  12. I think this first sentence of Palin-sponsored nonsense should probably be in the post:

    Apparently President Obama can’t see Egypt and Libya from his house.

    • olexicon says:

      It’s nice of her to remind us that she is an idiot and pull off the rare “self player hate”

    • Malaclypse says:

      Apparently President Obama can’t see Egypt and Libya from his house.

      I can’t decide if whoever writes her facebook posts hates her with the heat of a thousand suns, or if they are simply very, very stupid.

    • David Hunt says:

      My thought on reading that: “Actually he’s got access to a bunch of satellite feeds so he can see them from his house.”

      I can actually understand her being bitter about that whole “Russia from my house” thing. As I heard it, Tina Fey actually said it in an SNL routine while playing Palin. Fey was riffing on a Palin statement that was longer, factually accurate, but still almost as moronically stupid as the words that Fey spouted to make fun of her. Still, I’m sure Palin constantly reminds people that she never said that.

      Incidentally, my favorite “Palinism” that Fey invented is, “I don’t think Global Warming is caused by man but is, instead, a natural consequence of the End of Days.”

      • mark f says:

        As Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.

      • Still, I’m sure Palin constantly reminds people that she never said that.

        By constantly echoing it? How does that work, exactly?

        Conservatives seem confused.

      • SamR says:

        I remember that Fake Palinism well enough to recall that you got it wrong:

        “Gwen, we don’t know if this climate-change-whosie-whatsit is man-made, or if it’s just a natural part of the End of Days.”

        http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0108009/quotes

        In an earlier skit, Fey went with “I believe that it’s just God huggin’ us closer.”

        My favorite:

        I believe marriage is meant to be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.

        A little dated now, but at the time, holy crap was that funny.

  13. Ramon A. Clef says:

    I think I know what the sequel to “Who’s Nailin’ Palin” is going to be.

  14. Visitor says:

    Could someone tell me who the person with the limp is?

    I guess Palin *is* something of an expert on softball interviews.
    (cough-Couric!-cough)

    • Hogan says:

      “The pimp with the limp” is the nickname of a Miami DJ. Obama taped a ten-minute interview with him over the weekend. It was supposed to air on Monday, but the station held it until yesterday. Some wingers seem to be under the impression that the interview was live, and that Obama was dissing nine eleven.

  15. meese says:

    Boy, I sure wish she had access to The Launch Codes…

  16. Halloween Jack says:

    In her inevitable yet long-overdue fall from public interest, Palin is descending into a morass of unrealized contradictions; after complaining bitterly about being shut out of the GOP convention (by both the RNC and her own network), she expresses wonderment that John Kerry knows who she is and whines about his attacking “little people” like her. Well, she’ll always have Wonkette, apparently.

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