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Pathetic

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Good luck with this fellas:

Newt Gingrich has a crazy idea. Sources close to his dwindling campaign say he is in talks with Rick Perry in hopes of getting him on a ticket before the Republican convention in August.

“Gingrich insiders hope forming a predetermined ticket with Perry will unite the evangelical, Tea Party and very conservative voters that make up the core of the GOP,” FOX News reports in an exclusive story.

Perry’s office isn’t denying the rumors: “Gov. Perry thinks Newt Gingrich is the strongest conservative to debate and defeat President Obama and truly overhaul Washington. The speculation is humbling but premature.”

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  • Warren Terra

    If Perry is busy, I’m also available. Naming me would do about as much for Newt as naming Perry would, and I’m about as likely to become the Republican Veep nominee as Perry is.

    • firefall

      Are you kidding, you’d be bringing a lot MORE to the table than Perry … the ability to string 6 words together coherently for a start.

  • Aaron

    Donald Trump for Veep! Gotta lock up that Birther demographic!

  • joe from Lowell

    Gov. Perry thinks Newt Gingrich is the strongest conservative to debate and defeat President Obama and truly overhaul Washington. The speculation is humbling

    If I was a conservative, and I was forced to conclude that Newt freaking Gingrich was the best the movement could come up with to defeat Barack Obama, I’d find that humbling, too.

    • Hogan

      Humiliating, even.

  • mike in dc

    I’m still holding out for a Santorum Sweep tomorrow, with Newt finishing a somewhat surprising third in both Miss. and Alabama. It won’t make him quit the race, but it will signal to any remaining supporters that the time to jump ship to Frothy has come.

    • Warren Terra

      Apparently the polls say Newt is more than holding his own in the deep South, and the splitting of the most-neanderthal faction is helping Willard mightily.

  • “Gov. Perry thinks Newt Gingrich someone losing to both Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum, who are both giant dicks (and has Charlie Pierce mentioned what dicks they are today?) is the strongest conservative to debate and defeat President Obama and truly overhaul Washington.”

  • Davis

    Well, Newt is the Man of Ideas, many many ideas, virtually all of them shitty.

    • c u n d gulag

      Closer to ‘Beavis and Butthead.’

      And not even “Dumb and Dumber” – but more like “Thinks He’s Smart, And the Moron!”

      Or, maybe, “Of Mice and Men.”

      • You’re missing the Perry and The Brain sonority:

        Brain is self-centered and scheming; Pinky is good-natured but feebleminded. In each episode, Brain devises a new plan to take over the world, which ultimately ends in failure, usually due to Pinky’s idiocy or the impossibility of Brain’s plan.

        In this case The Brain’s impossible plan is to be such an attractive ticket that Mitt’s win will be overturned at the convention. HELLO!

        • Bill Murray

          are you pondering what I’m pondering?

        • Mistah Charlie Pierce said, or in this case drew, it best.

        • c u n d gulag

          Thanks, I did miss it.

    • LKS

      Perry and The Brain.

      +1

    • Dave Haasl

      And now I have that song running through my head here at work…….

  • Rich C

    Pathetic? This is a match made in paradise! Now they can campaign on colonizing the Moon, Mars, and … uh … don’t tell me..

    • Sev

      Yeah, that third one IS a bitch to remember. I suspect, though, that it’s Uterus.

  • Brandon

    They seemed to be obsessed with this idea of Newt beating Obama in debates. This seems largely due to them coming to believe their own “oPrompter is a doofus who can’t speak off the cuff!” jokes and believing that Newt is some sort of debating genius (despite him only being successful when allowed to attack the moderators and have the audience cheer).

    Even if these things were true, I’m still not sure why they think it is a winning strategy.

    • I was just talking about this elsewhere. The meanie/troublemaker in me wants to see Newtie be the nominee just so I can see the wingnut hopes of debate smackdowns dashed.

    • joe from Lowell

      They seemed to be obsessed with this idea of Newt beating Obama in debates. This seems largely due to them coming to believe their own “oPrompter is a doofus who can’t speak off the cuff!” jokes

      If they believed their own jokes, they wouldn’t be obsessed with getting a really good debater.

      That they feel the need to find someone who is a debate-stage heavyweight shows the opposite: that they know what a good speaker he is, and fear him for it.

      The over-compensating teleprompter jokes and the obsession with getting a good debater are both evidence that they are intimidated.

      • Well said.

      • UserGoogol

        They can believe their own jokes and still find him a formidable debater. Teleprompters aren’t the only way a person can be prepped for a debate. If the ghost of Saul Alinksy is feeding him lines or whatever, then Republicans are going to want to be on their top game.

  • Dennis Brennan

    Isn’t the big news the fact that being a Catholic is no longer a liability in the non-Louisiana deep south?

    • joe from Lowell

      Indeed. Good point. I haven’t heard about Bob Jones University this time around, haver you?

      OK, trivial point: “Deep South” is an obsolete term. Back when there was a Deep South/Upper South divide, Tennessee (home of the 2 senators who didn’t sign the Southern Manifesto) was Upper South, while North Carolina was Deep South.

      Today, it’s the Atlantic Coast vs. the Interior South. North Carolina voted for Obama, and Georgia, of all places, was close. Meanwhile, Tennessee might as well be Alabama, as far as politics go.

  • Manju

    When he entered the race, everyone laughed because of his similarities to Bill Clinton.

    Now its Hillary.

    • everyone

      This word clearly does not mean what you think it means.

    • joe from Lowell

      What Mal said: what are you talking about? I’ve never heard any of these comparisons.

      Please, enlighten us about what they’re saying in right-blogostan. How was Newt Gingrich compared to Bill Clinton, and how is he now being compared to Hillary?

      • Warren Terra

        They’re both overweight white guys from the South. They’re married, they have kids, they are politicians, and they were big in the nineties. They both are associated with sexual impropriety.

        These similarities aren’t exactly nothing – though the first four don’t exactly narrow the field down all that much – but they’re not far from nothing, either.

        More to the point: I haven’t seen anyone making the comparison; other, more salient points of comparison leave the two looking rather different from each other; and “big in the nineties” mattered much more when Bill Clinton was running for office, in the nineties.

      • Manju

        what are you talking about

        ?

        When he entered the race, Newt’s Bubba-like sexcapades were the talk of the town.

        But now that an exit is in sight, he’s suddenly looking more like Hillary.

        Just to jog your memory: Super-delegates, Caucuses don’t count, Blacks don’t either, Obama committed voter-fraud, he might get RFKed, redo FL and MI, etc.

        • Warren Terra

          “Obama committed voter fraud”? The rest of these are (now-irrelevant) strands of hope clung to by desperate PUMAs in the summer of 2008 – to the extent that PUMAs actually existed except for a few hundred people on a couple of blogs and in the imagination of the producers of Fox News. But I don’t remember that one until after the general election, when Fox News turned two nutcases in Philadelphia into some sort of nationwide threat to undermine our elections.

          • Manju

            “Obama committed voter fraud”?

            After the NV Caucus, the Clinton Campaign accused the Obama one of “Voter Suppression and Intimidation”, “Systematic Corruption of the Party’s Caucus Procedure”, and “Manipulation of the Voter Registration Process”:

            http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2008/images/01/23/nv.state.letter.1.23.08.pdf

            • You do realize that your document contains the word “fraud” exactly zero times, right?

              • Manju

                “Electoral fraud is illegal interference with the process of an election. Acts of fraud affect vote counts to bring about an election result, whether by increasing the vote share of the favored candidate, depressing the vote share of the rival candidates, or both. Also called voter fraud, the mechanisms involved include illegal voter registration, intimidation at polls and improper vote counting.

                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electoral_fraud

              • joe from Lowell

                You do realize that your document contains the word “fraud” exactly zero times, right?

                But the formal letter that they send was only one part of the messaging. They also had their proxies out there pushing the meme.

                Obsessing over the wording isn’t the point. Kamp Klinton was, indeed, going there.

                • Manju

                  Integrity.

          • Manju

            The rest of these are (now-irrelevant) strands of hope clung to by desperate PUMAs in the summer of 2008 – to the extent that PUMAs actually existed except for a few hundred people on a couple of blogs and in the imagination of the producers of Fox News.

            All the examples provided are from the Hillary Clinton Campaign itself, as I just demonstrated in regards to the accusations of Electoral Fraud.

            I assure you, I can demonstrate this to be the fact for every one of them and, just to show you I’m serious, I’ll do it for one more….the Fl and MI one:

            “4. Resolve or Revote MI, FL to close at least 30 Delegates including Supers”
            -Mark Penn, Chief Strategist: Hillary Clinton for President.
            http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/09/the-front-runner-8217-s-fall/6944/3/?single_page=true

            So I object to your deflections and minimizations. Please retract.

            • joe from Lowell

              Out of curiosity, what has Gingrich said about Florida and Michigan?

            • Warren Terra

              You really think our memories are that poor? Mark Penn was – before, after, and during the campaign – a national punchline, unemployable by any self-respecting, news-aware person other than the Clintons, who credited him (oddly) with their 1996 victory. The Florida and Michigan Nontroversy was that they had violated the rules and forfeited their delegates, and Mark Penn wanted to salvage the absurd hash he’d made of Clinton’s once-inevitable campaign by pretending that if their delegates were magically restored to them (and thereby to Clinton) and if she managed to hold on to her huge bank of superdelegates (which she’d sewn up early on the basis of the inevitability she’d once had, and whose support she was in any case hemorrhaging), she’d pull to within shouting distance of the leading candidate. It was a pipe dream, meant to extract concessions in a close-fought race, to salve the wounded pride of the disgraced Penn, and to appeal to the assholes at Fox News and the credulous mouth breathers who believe their misrespresentations. Naming no names in that last category.

              • Manju

                You really think our memories are that poor?

                Its apparently so poor that you can forget what you just wrote a moment ago.

                You claimed that the voter fraud allegation was restricted to Fox News and the others to PUMAs…who themselves where restricted to “a few hundred people on a couple of blogs and in the imagination of the producers of Fox News.”

                Then I produce a letter from lawyers representing the Clinton Campaign. You ignore this.

                Instead you address the Mark Penn quote. The only way this can be squared with your initial comment is if the Clinton’s Chief Strategist was either one of the “few hundred people on a couple of blogs” or was a figment of “the imagination of the producers of Fox News.”

          • joe from Lowell

            The rest of these are (now-irrelevant) strands of hope clung to by desperate PUMAs in the summer of 2008

            Yes, exactly. He’s comparing the status of Gingrich’s campaign now to Hillary’s during that period when her supporters were pretending she still had a shot.

            • Hogan

              Ah. Manju should hire you as her/his spokesmodel.

              • joe from Lowell

                More like translator.

                Excuse me, stewardess, I speak wingnut.

              • If you act today, we’ll throw in some stale false equivalencies free! Now how much would you pay?

                • joe from Lowell

                  But wait! If you call within the next twenty minutes, we’ll include a this beautiful, slightly-expurgated version of The Biography of Robert Byrd absolutely for no additional charge.

                • Warren Terra

                  Also, for no additional reason!

            • Manju

              during that period when her supporters were pretending she still had a shot.

              Once again, all the examples I provided came from the Clinton Campaign, including the legal doc you just read and properly interpreted for the clueless Malaclypse.

              I object to deflecting the blame onto mere “supporters”.

        • Hogan

          Super-delegates, Caucuses don’t count, Blacks don’t either, Obama committed voter-fraud, he might get RFKed, redo FL and MI, etc.

          Newt has said all that stuff?

          • Manju

            No, Newt’s Southern Strategy isn’t quite as brutal as Hillary’s.

            • Hogan

              Where by “Southern Strategy” you mean “expecting to do better in the South than anywhere else, because he’s southern.” Harry Dent and Lee Atwater must be spinning in their graves.

              • Manju

                Newt’s use of the Food Stamps non-issue earns him the title of Southern Strategist.

                • Hogan

                  And that makes people compare him to Hillary?

                • And that makes people compare him to Hillary?

                  See, you may have missed this, because Manju is being subtle, but Robert Byrd! Robert Byrd! Robert Byrd!

            • Manju

              And that makes people compare him to Hillary?

              You write as if there are no LGM posts on the racial connotations of allegations of Electoral Fraud.

              The LGM Dixiecrat contingent raises its head again.

              • So LGM posts make people compare Newt to Hillary?

                I suppose “Manju” may count as a person.

                • Manju

                  I suppose “Manju” may count as a person.

                  I didn’t say people compare Newt to Hillary. I said that of Bill.

                  The Hillary comparison is mine.

              • Hogan

                You write as if there are no LGM posts on the racial connotations of allegations of Electoral Fraud.

                I do, yes. Can you point me to those posts?

              • Uncle Kvetch

                And all this under a post entitled “Pathetic,” no less.

            • Hogan

              So “food stamp president” isn’t quite as brutal as “caucuses don’t count”? Gotcha.

              • Manju

                Hillary’s Southern Strategy has more data points as of today, which makes hers more brutal…but Newt has time to catch up.

            • joe from Lowell

              Newt’s Southern Strategy isn’t quite as brutal as Hillary’s.

              Hillary didn’t have a Southern Strategy. She had a midwestern strategy. Not even Mark Penn is stupid enough to think that it’s a good idea to polarize voters by race in Southern states, aiming to take the white ones, in Democratic primaries!

          • Manju

            See, you may have missed this, because Manju is being subtle, but Robert Byrd! Robert Byrd! Robert Byrd!

            Bill Clinton and Geraldine Ferraro were very subtle when they accused the Obama camp of playing the race card on them.

            So subtle that Dixiecrats like yourself can claim not to hear it.

            • joe from Lowell

              Bill never actually did that.

              And Geraldine was clearly off the reservation. The campaign freaked out after her little performance.

              • Manju

                Bill never actually did that.

                Demonstartively false:

                “I think that they played the race card on me. And we now know, from memos from the campaign and everything that they planned to do it all along,”
                -Bill Clinton on the Obama Campaign

                Please retract.

                • joe from Lowell

                  I’d forgotten that one-day event. They dropped the line quickly enough.

                • Please retract.

                  And if he does not, what will you do? Troll the blog endlessly about Robert Byrd and Democrats Are The Real Racists?

                • Hogan

                  It was Smerdyakov, I’m telling you! Not Dmitri!

                • Manju

                  I’d forgotten that one-day event. They dropped the line quickly enough.

                  “But I am not a racist. I’ve never made a racist comment, and I never attacked him personally.”
                  -Bill Clinton

                • Manju

                  And if he does not, what will you do?

                  I will do what good men like Ta-Nehesi Cotes does everytime a Neo-Confederate tries to tell us that the Civil War was not about slavery.

                  I’ll keep correcting you. I’ll counter your denialist narrative with facts.

                • So, you’ll keep name-dropping Robert Byrd. Can’t say that this comes a surprise.

                • joe from Lowell

                  “But I am not a racist. I’ve never made a racist comment, and I never attacked him personally.”
                  -Bill Clinton

                  Uh huh. And?

                • Manju

                  Uh huh. And?

                  If he never said anything racist, then Obama did indeed play the race card on him.

                  Ergo, he’s once again reiterating that Obama plays the race card…as Ferraro did, and as the Campaign did again after the Obama camp objected to Ferraro’s comments.

                • Manju

                  Malaclypse says:
                  March 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm

                  So, you’ll keep name-dropping Robert Byrd. Can’t say that this comes a surprise.

                  Well what to do, Malaclypse? I’m dealing with someone so stupid, so thick in the head, that he can read a document that says this:

                  o Deliberately miscounted votes to favor Senator Obama.
                  o Deliberately counted unregistered persons as Obama votes.
                  o Deliberately counted young children as Obama votes.

                  …and not see an allegation of “Voter Fraud” because the word “Fraud” does not appear.

                • joe from Lowell

                  If he never said anything racist, then Obama did indeed play the race card on him.

                  Ergo, he’s once again reiterating that Obama plays the race card…as Ferraro did, and as the Campaign did again after the Obama camp objected to Ferraro’s comments.

                  That’s you, Manju. That’s not Bill Clinton.

                • Manju

                  That’s you, Manju. That’s not Bill Clinton.

                  The quote is from Bill Clinton:

                  http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=5506458&page=1#.T1-9SOU9g8o

                • joe from Lowell

                  The quote is from Bill Clinton:

                  I know.

                  The interpretation, the spin, is from you.

                  By that point, Clinton had been thoroughly thrashed for his behavior, and was on the defensive, trying to salvage his reputation. The depiction of his denial as a further example of him making the accusation is all you.

                • Yes, yes, Manju, you are a brave truth-teller. A hero of your own story.

                  Now if I give you a nickel, will you go buy yourself a WoW account?

              • Manju

                The depiction of his denial as a further example of him making the accusation is all you.

                Because denying that the civil war was about slavery is not tantamount to saying; “the civil war was not about slavery.”

                ooookaaaay!

                • joe from Lowell

                  There is a parallel universe where this comment expresses a thought that is not only comprehensible, but also accurate.

                  This is not that universe. You are babbling nonsensically.

  • cleter

    Sure, Newt. Run with Man-Palin. That’s a great plan.

    • witless chum

      If you made up “Man-Palin” you’re a big damn hero.

      More seriously, didn’t Rick Perry drop out of the race because conservatives discovered they weren’t all that enthused about voting for him once they saw more of him than his resume and his hair?

      • And his gun. He had a big gun. If you know what I mean.

      • joe from Lowell

        Man-Palin

        Dang ol’, dang ol’ Putin risin’ up and coming into our airspace, where’s that, tell you what.

  • DrDick

    Wow! Gingrich decided to pick the one Republican less popular than he is for his VP? He always said he was an idea man and now we have proof. They are all delusionally bad ideas, but sill.

  • Jim Lynch

    The republican national convention will not be a festival of good vibes in 2012.

  • Jesse Levine

    It is a dream ticket as the GOP primary season seems to be designed to determine who will govern the Confederate States of America.

  • Tybalt

    Newt Gingrich has a crazy idea

    Wow, stop the f***ing presses.

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