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Wingnutia and History

[ 101 ] June 28, 2011 |

First, she confused her John Waynes, and now her John Adamses.   Shorter Michele Bachmann: I don’t care if John Quincy Adams was only nine, he was a founding father dammit, and my minions will edit his wikipedia page to prove it.

I hope she never goes away.

Comments (101)

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  1. DrDick says:

    We all make stupid gaffes from time to time. For Bachmann, like Palin, it is a way of life.

  2. Jay B. says:

    And still, no matter how many Founding Sons were, much later in life, ardently opposed to slavery, the actual fact remains — beyond any scope of doubt, in the literal QED way — the Founding Fathers didn’t actively fight slavery. They actually codified it in the fucking Constitution.

    Sure, some of them hated it. Others were conflicted. But to say they “fought” it would mean, you know, that some other thing fought back. And won. Who was that?

    But John Quincy Adams!11!! Bring on the Brawndo.

    • To be technical, they didn’t codify it so much as kick the slavery can 50 or so years down the road.

      • mattc says:

        Article 4, Section 2: “No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, But shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.”

        Looks pretty codified to me.

    • Furious Jorge says:

      It’s got electrolytes, motherfucker.

    • Davis says:

      Well she did claim that the Founding Fathers fought to end slavery, and now she claims that Quincy Adams was a Founding Father, so it all makes sense, in a wingnuttia way.

  3. Stag Party Palin says:

    The minions failed to change his birthdate (1767), merely inserting the words “a founding father” into the entry. Michele probably did it herself.

    The zombies outnumber us. The three Laws of Politodynamics are:

    (1) Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative. (John Stuart Mill)

    (2) 49.99∞ % of Americans are Below Average. (Killer Fact)

    (3) 27% of Americans are functionally insane (see election results, senate, Obama vs. Keyes)

    • Incontinentia Buttocks says:

      In the interest of historical accuracy, the Mill quote concerned “Conservatives” (i.e. members of a particular British political party) not “conservatives” (i.e. believers in a broader political ideology).

  4. hv says:

    How do we tell Wikipedia edits by her minions from Wikipedia edits by people with a very devious sense of humor?

    • NonyNony says:

      Poe’s Law pretty much says you’re a fool to try.

      However I’d be willing to place a wager on this one being a not-supporter:

      “But even as an embryo, John Quincy Adams could feel pain and was a Founding Father.”

      • Bart says:

        “And as a teen, he shot his first abortion provider”

        • NonyNony says:

          There should be a whole bunch of “John Quincy Adams Facts”.

          Can’t you just see John Quincy Adams becoming the new Chuck Norris?

          • owlbear1 says:

            As a Sperm, JQA saved America from Sharia Law!

          • Malaclypse says:

            Jesus John Quincy Adams was way cool
            Everybody liked Jesus John Quincy Adams
            Everybody wanted to hang out with him
            Anything he wanted to do, he did
            He turned water into wine
            And if he wanted to
            He could have turned wheat into marijuana
            Or sugar into cocaine
            Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

            He walked on the water
            And swam on the land
            He would tell these stories
            And people would listen
            He was really cool

            If you were blind or lame
            You just went to Jesus John Quincy Adams
            And he would put his hands on you
            And you would be healed
            That’s so cool

            He could’ve played guitar better than Hendrix
            He could’ve told the future
            He could’ve baked the most delicious cake in the world
            He could’ve scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
            He could’ve danced better than Barishnikov
            He could’ve played guitar better than Hendrix
            He could’ve told the future
            He could’ve baked the most delicious cake in the world
            He could’ve scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
            He could’ve danced better than Barishnikov
            Jesus John Quincy Adams could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
            Jesus John Quincy Adams was way cool

            He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
            That’s so cool
            Jesus John Quincy Adams was so cool
            But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
            So they killed him
            But then he rose from the dead
            He rose from the dead, danced around
            Then went up to heaven
            I mean, that’s so cool
            Jesus John Quincy Adams was way cool

      • Jon H says:

        John Quincy Adams was the Doogie Howser of the founding of America.

    • Dave Brockington says:

      Close to impossible without sophisticated IP tracing and / or a lot of detective work. It’s possible, of course, that both this and the Sarah Palin Paul Revere thing were not done by their supporters, but by someone with a sense of humor or even by someone on the left who wants it to appear to be wingnutia-driven.

    • owlbear1 says:

      I don’t think it’s really relevant who made the changes.

      As long as Bachmann insists she was not wrong the edits are simply a manifestation of her banal reality.

      • Incontinentia Buttocks says:

        You have this backwards.

        As a major public figure, Bachmann’s opinion deserves to be represented in the Wikipedia entry on JQA. Indeed, failure to reflect everything that Bachmann says in the Wikipedia entry would be a violation of Neutral Point of View!

        (As Anna Russell used to say, I’m not making this up. I’ve actually seen the preceding argument in the Discussion page of the Paul Revere entry following Palin’s gaffe.)

        • Norman..- ThomasThe Socialist. says:

          I can understand the fear you have. You elected a very liberal president that had no executive experience or business experience at all and the economy is *still* in the tank and may go down even further.

          And here comes a slew of people who *do* have those kinds of experience that, by contrast, make the president look like a lightweight.

          So, it now appears that the president just might be a one-termer….and that is what frightens you.

          You’ll get over it.

        • owlbear1 says:

          The kind of people who piss in a paper cup and try to sell it as a fine wine.

        • MAJeff says:

          Anna Russel quote. Nice!

  5. MAJeff says:

    I’m trying to remember where I read it, but I recall some profile of Bachmann talking about one of her professors (I think at Oral Roberts) teaching that the founders all opposed slavery, but allowed it knowing that it would be taken out of the constitution. Wish I could remember where.

    She’s bugfucking nuts, but she’s part of a movement that’s equally crazy and dishonest.

    • Norman..- ThomasThe Socialist. says:

      She’s bugfucking nuts, but she’s part of a movement that’s equally crazy and dishonest.

      Liberals?

  6. From the second link:

    She also points out another, more amusing annotation (to Wikipedia), “But even as an embryo, John Quincy Adams could feel pain and was a Founding Father.”

    Awesome.

  7. Since John Quincy Adams actually did work tirelessly to get rid of slavery, and his father didn’t, doesn’t that make him more of a Founding Father than his father?

    • MAJeff says:

      He time traveled not only to convince all the founders to get rid of slavery, but also to convince his dad to think of the ladies.

    • Norman..- ThomasThe Socialist. says:

      Since John Quincy Adams actually did work tirelessly to get rid of slavery, and his father didn’t, doesn’t that make him more of a Founding Father than his father?

      Ummmmm….NO

    • Jon H says:

      John Adams’ anti-slavery genes were all in his sperm. All of it. A double helping to outweigh whatever pro-slavery genes the wife might have harbored.

      Thus John Q. got it all and his dad had none left for himself.

      Q.E.D. motherfuckers.

  8. John says:

    I’m not sure that “Addicting Info” site is in any position to make fun of other people for factual errors:

    Michelle Bachmann also misspoke yesterday, saying that John Wayne was born in Waterloo, Indiana, when in reality John Wayne Gaycee the serial killer was born in Waterloo, Indiana. The Wikipedia page for John Wayne was also changed to make his birthplace Waterloo, Indiana, even thought John Wayne was born in Winterset, Indiana.

    She said that John Wayne was born in Waterloo, Iowa, when in reality John Wayne Gacy the serial killer lived for several years in Waterloo, Iowa. The Wikipeda page for John Wayne was also changed to make his birthplace Waterloo, Iowa, even though John Wayne was born in Winterset, Iowa. That’s, what, five or six errors? Embarrassing.

    • owlbear1 says:

      Perhaps you so go over there and point out their errors?

      If they refuse and insist they are correct you would then have an equivalence.

      • owlbear1 says:

        My apolgies I made a mistake, please replace the word “so” with the word “should”.

        • Norman..- ThomasThe Socialist. says:

          My apolgies I made a mistake, please replace the word “so” with the word “should”.

          Lighten up. Everyone makes typos and errors. It’s only the assholes that have nothing else that whine about it.

  9. MAJeff says:

    The most important thing anyone can know about Michele Bachmann is that she is a vicious, mendacious lunatic.

    • DrDick says:

      And those are her good qualities.

    • Norman..- ThomasThe Socialist. says:

      The most important thing anyone can know about Michele Bachmann is that she is a vicious, mendacious lunatic.

      Oh, I dunno….post doc degree in taxation. Plenty of business experience…doesn’t just whine for government to do something, but took in over twenty foster children. Didn’t wait for government but started charter schools for special needs children.

      I’d say she walks the walk.

      What has Obama done other than fuck up the economy?

      • cleter says:

        True, the economy was in a pristine state when Obama took office, and now it’s ruined. If only someone with lots of economics expertise had been elected–someone like Nobel Prize-wining economist John McCain, perhaps. Fortunately, Bachmann, with her experience cashing farm-subsidy checks, will be able to set things to rights.

      • Pseudonym says:

        Michele Bachmann—who knows so much about our tax law, who has all that business experience with the IRS and, uh, her husband’s Christian counseling job, who doesn’t just whine for the government to do something but demands that the government pay for her foster kids, who quit the board of her charter school because she wasn’t allowed to proselytize—yeah, she really walks some kind of walk.

        Obama, on the other hand, apparently can bend time to his will by fucking up the economy before he was even elected.

        • Norman..- ThomasThe Socialist. says:

          Or Obama could do little that actaully helped. It seems that all the spending went to union members.

          So, how many governement subsidized childrend did Obama raise?

          Let’s face it. With all her flaws, she’s head and shoulders above Obama or McCain.

          US has a fevahhh…and Bachmann is the cure.

          • America loves Sarah Palin Michell Bachmann! Loves her!

            You liberals are panicked. Admit it, you’re just pretending to find her an object of humor. Actually, you’re panicked.

            Oh yes you are.

          • cleter says:

            Well, put your money where your mouth is. Nominate her. See how that works out for you.

            • Norman..- T.homasThe Socialist. says:

              Nominate her. See how that works out for you.

              That may happen. I believe you wiil be shocked to see how her message of common sense economic remedies rings true for the voters.

              They will decide what is common sense and what is not.

          • Anonymous says:

            You mean the same union members who paid back the loans they received, the receipt of said loans having saved millions of jobs? Because, I’m unaware the time in which Investment Banks and Hedge Funds unionized so I would have to assume you’re referring to the bailout of the auto-industry- aka the thing that makes Mitt “Screw American Jobs” Romney a sure loser in the Rust Belt.

      • doesn’t just whine for government to do something, but took in over twenty foster children. Didn’t wait for government but started charter schools for special needs children.

        Both funded with taxpayer money.

        Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

      • Anonymous says:

        Right she worked for the IRS shouldn’t that disqualify her to you- she made a living enforcing “socialism”.

  10. Jim Harrison says:

    What we have here is symbiosis. Liberals make fun of Bachmann for displaying ignorance. Since this scorn is taken by her supporters as more proof that the liberals are elitists who despise them, Bachmann benefits. So everybody’s happy.

    • NonyNony says:

      Yup.

      And actually the fact that she won’t back down and say “whoops, I was mistaken” will be seen by her supporters as evidence that she’s not afraid to stand up to elitist liberals.

      This kind of thing won’t hurt her at all – I’m not sure why people beat on it so much. It won’t hurt her in the primary for obvious reasons and most voters would look at you like you’d grown a second head if you said “Michelle Bachmann thinks that John Quincy Adams was a Founding Father” because from their dimly remembered High School History classes that sounds “about right” and being wrong on something like that is like being wrong about a Jeopardy question – it doesn’t make you stupid or crazy, it just means you don’t know much about History.

      • MAJeff says:

        The thing about the Bachmann/Palin/Fox/CBN/Religious Right world is that they’ve constructed an alternative universe. This is a world in which creationism is treated as serious science. This is a world in which climate scientists are greedy bastards seeking material gain, while oil company executives are poor put-upon victims. White supremacy never existed, but whiteness is now a detriment. Heterosexuals are an oppressed minority, bullied by gay activists. Feminists have destroyed the good society in which women were cared for by paternalistic men who are victimzed by claims that domestic violence exists at all.

        It’s a world of bugfucking nutters who, in the words of candidate Obama, “Take pride in being ignorant.”

  11. Can you please just empower some nice commenters you trust with deletion powers if it’s too much effort to delete individual comments or impossible to ban individual users.

    • M. Bouffant says:

      Not feeding is the empowerment of the common taters.

      • Incontinentia Buttocks says:

        This

        • Uncle Kvetch says:

          I slipped yesterday, but as of today I’m retaking the DNFTT pledge. It’s either that or just stop bothering with this site. That would be a damn shame, but whatever entertainment value there was in watching an ignorant, bigoted fuckwit make a jackass of himself over and over is gone. That shit gets old really fast.

          C’mon, people now…DNFTT.

          • firefall says:

            its one step at a time, buddy :)

            • It isn’t just not feeding the troll. The troll still enjoys making 20 comments a thread.

              • Uncle Kvetch says:

                And each one of those 20 comments can just sit there ignored, like the sad little dog turd it is, until the cleanup crew comes along to scoop it up. Sooner or later even a sociopath will move on if he’s not getting his jollies, and a troll gets his jollies by being fed.

          • John Protevi says:

            Take The Pledge! It’s the only thing that works!

            • hv says:

              What difference will it make if commenters self-police when masthead contributors can’t be troubled to do the same?

              Every bit of masthead troll-food is a thousand times more pernicious, as it legitimates other feeders, many of whom HAD TAKEN THE PLEDGE and were inspired to backslide. (Read that thread if you doubt me.)

              I wish I had a dollar for every time a masthead member tries to pin this shit on just commenters. (Farley, Loomis, and Lemieux have all done so this month, they are lucky I only get one link per comment.)

      • DrDick says:

        DNFTFRT – Do Not Feed the Fucking Retarded Troll. Ever. I have taken the pledge and it seems to be holding as well as quitting smoking did 15 years ago.

        • Malaclypse says:

          While I lapsed yesterday as well, I re-take the Pledge.

          • MAJeff says:

            Ich auch.

            • dave brockington says:

              I find it far easier to NFTT than quitting smoking. The latter might have a bearing on my ability to perform the former.

              • DrDick says:

                I tried dozens of times before I finally succeeded at 44 (after 30 years of smoking 2-3 packs a day). Hang in there, boyo, your day will come.

              • Malaclypse says:

                Every day, I took the cost of a pack of cigarettes and put it in a peanut butter jar in my room. Whenever I really wanted a cigarette, I took that money and bought myself something I wanted, and wrote down what I got. At the end of a year, I had a long list of “things I would not have if I still smoked.”

  12. actor212 says:

    John Quincy Adams once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

  13. Ken says:

    I hope she never goes away.

    Sure, the amusement value is great, but can’t we go back to the old system? You know, where you paid your two pence to the keepers to go inside Bedlam and look at the inmates, not where they were out in public babbling on the streetcorners and getting elected to Congress?

  14. Snarki, child of Loki says:

    Man, get busy doing stuff and I miss all the fun!

    Some enterprising member of the MSM needs to ask Bachmann whether she subscribes to that “scientific global shape theory”, or does she prefer the four-square biblical version.

  15. John says:

    Barack America was probably the most fortuitous slip of the tongue ever.

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