Home / Robert Farley / Oh Sweet Jeebus

Oh Sweet Jeebus


Our last commander in Afghanistan was an avowed fan of Bud Light Lime. His replacement?

Despite admitting that he has not purchased a compact disc in years, General David Petraeus revealed Wednesday that he is “an Enya guy,” referring to the new-age Irish musician.

“I do like Celtic music. And Enya is among those,” the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan told Fox News Channel’s Jennifer Griffin in an exclusive interview.

Petraeus said he has not had the opportunity to enjoy his favorite artist in the battlefield, saying he has not listened to music since he’s been on the ground in Afghanistan.

“Maybe over time I’ll get to that,” he added.

Maybe the Taliban will decide that killing Enya fans isn’t worth the trouble?

UPDATE [by SL]:  I can’t resist once again quoting one of my favorite hatchet jobs:

Pondering the fate of post-September 11 pop, everyone predicted what they already wished for–Slipknot undone, Britney in hiding. What happened instead was the unthinkable–sales of Enya’s first album since 1995 spiked 10 months after release. (And she thought that movie where Charlize Theron fucked Keanu Reeves and died of cancer was a promotional coup!) Two years in the making with the artiste playing every synthesizer, the 11 songs here last a resounding 34 minutes and represent a significant downsizing of her New Age exoticism since 1988’s breakthrough, Watermark–it’s goopier, more simplistic. Yanni is Tchaikovsky by comparison, Sarah McLachlan Ella Fitzgerald, treacle Smithfield ham. Right, whatever gets folks through the night. But Enya’s the kind of artist who makes you think, if this piffle got them through it, how dark could their night have been? Like Master P or Michael Bolton only worse, she tests one’s faith in democracy itself.

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  • dave brockington

    We’re screwed.

  • jon

    Enya? Bud Light with lime? There’s your problem right there. They need to get away from their air conditioned nightmares for a while.

  • Halloween Jack

    Enya is great music to fall asleep to, no kidding.

  • Joe Kopena

    > Despite admitting that he has not purchased a compact disc in years,

    So, he steals mp3s?

  • Enya does not play Celtic music. That’s like saying you like jazz and listen to Kenny G or Dave Koz.

    If he wants to listen to good Celtic music, he could at least listen to the Chieftains or ,a href=”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Nunez”>Carlos Nuñez.

    • Incontinentia Buttocks

      FWIW, my cousin is a professional jazz musician and, to his great frustration, that’s exactly what Kenny G think about themselves.

    • celticdragon

      Altan, Cherish The Ladies and Deanta are great Irish bands. Altan especially sets the standard.

  • Evan

    “Maybe the Taliban will decide that killing Enya fans isn’t worth the trouble?”

    Yes, because they’re already dead inside.

    • RepubAnon

      I was talking to a cab driver the other day, and heard that the Taliban play Enya CDs in madrassas to demonstrate why music must be banned…

  • Today I’ve learnt that General Petreaus likes PowerPoint and Enya. Surely this is grounds for dismissal?

  • ploeg

    “We have you surrounded. Come out with your hands up. We have the music cued up and our PA goes to 11. You have two minutes to respond.”

  • But Enya’s the kind of artist who makes you think

    Oh come on.

    • Mr. Trend

      But Enya’s the kind of artist who makes you think

      Oh come on.

      No, this is true. Every time I hear Enya, I think seriously about the merits of stabbing my eardrums.

  • Gawd knows I hate Christgau (giving Zappa’s Roxy and Elsewhere a C+ should be enough t condemn him to eternal hellfire) but I guess even a broken clock is right twice a day.

  • cpinva

    did charlize theron’s character get cancer because she fucked keanu reeves’ character? how did i miss that?

    no doubt there are those who consider enya’s music “mystical”. no doubt, there are those who consider glenn beck a historian. neither group should be paid the least bit of attention to.

  • Davis X. Machina

    I had to look to answer “Is that Charlie Pierce?”

    Which reflects well on both parties.

    Enya early on with Clannad did make some actual Celtic noises. Check out Fuaim, for example.

    After ‘Theme From Harry’s Game’, though it was downhill for them, and for the whole genre, I’m afraid…..

    • celticdragon

      Enya’s first album was a soundtrack to a BBC documentary on the Celts, and was actually quite good.

  • fledermaus

    I just don’t get Bud Light Lime. Why not just put an actual lime into a Bud Light? It’s not a complicated process and would probably taste better than whatever pseudo-lime chemical they use.

  • Matt Duss

    What Petraeus forgot to mention is that he listens to Enya while sharpening HIS HUGE FUCKING KNIFE. In the bubble bath.

  • Richard S

    Bud Lite Lime is still sex in a canoe.

  • heydave

    Someone else uses that “sex/canoe” line? Great!

    I like Enya of the Past. Yes, many things spoil in the harsh sunlight on time.

  • heydave

    of time…. OF time, you dicks…

  • HellraisingApache

    When the guy got shot in the chest when he was a LTC, he “fought” his way out of the hospital by getting out of bed and doing 50-pushups. I don’t give a damn what he listens to…

    Fun Fact: Bill Frist, later majority leader of US Senate, operated on him.

    See “In The Company of Soldiers.” Rick Atkinson

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