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Merry Christmas Etc. Etc.


Noting that the War on Christmas has failed once again, I am forced to “enjoy” the “holiday” from sunny San Juan. Some observations from Puerto Rico:

  • Freeway driving is surprisingly pleasant in PR, in no small part because of the lack of semi-trucks. I am curious, though, as to why exit numbers and distances are given in “kilometers” (a local term, apparently deriving from the Taino Indian word “kilometer”) while speed limits are given in miles per hour. This proved confusing the first day or two, when I was genuinely concerned that we were regularly exceeding the limit by 25mph.
  • In addition to its lovely freeways, Puerto Rico’s interior also has many tiny, windy mountain roads sporting an average of 1.25 car widths. It took us four hours to travel the roughly 40 miles from the south coast to the north coast, and another hour to pry my fingers out of the steering wheel.
  • The Arecibo Observatory is a very large dish, and its otherwise lovely museum features what was probably the most boring museum movie I’ve ever seen.
  • We highly recommend Casa Flamboyant, a lovely little B&B in the El Yunque rain forest, but beware; it rains in the rain forest, even while you’re hiking.
  • Scratching mosquito bites can give intense, but ephemeral, pleasure.

The plan for today is to call the relevant relatives, eat a steak, sit on the beach, drink mojitos, and gamble away the revenue generated by pawning wedding gifts at the casino. Enjoy your holiday in your own way, but if you have a chance read PTJ’s constructivist case for the existence of Santa Claus.

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