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LGM Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony

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Let it be known that “Does it ever occur to you guys that your commenters are objectively despicable people?” has now entered the LGM Hall of Fame, and has been ensconced among the rotating quotations in the header.

Congratulations, you ugly, awful people.

[Erik]….Meanwhile, Freddie is very upset that you are enjoying television. Hating TV is the only true left position. Liking television and–god forbid–talking about television is objectively despicable.

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  • blastaar

    When did “objectively” come to mean, “looked at a certain counter-intuitive, self-serving way”?

    • Vance Maverick

      If it’s not used in clear opposition to something subjective, I think the self-regard is always there. So, according to etymonline.com, 1855.

      • blastaar

        So he’s saying, “your commenters are looked down upon by objects”? How exactly does that work?

        • People called Romanes, they go, the house?

          • blastaar

            Well, if he’s translating from a dead language, that makes more sense. Wait, I don’t think “makes sense” is exactly the term I’m looking for here . . .

        • FMguru

          Freddie de Boer treats objects like women, man!

          • fidelio

            Eeewww.

            It’s unlikely I’ll be in a situation where I’ll interact with [BONERS] in person, but remind me to keep some hand-sanitizer around just in case.

          • Guggenheim Swirly

            That’s just, like, your opinion, man.

    • djw

      Objectively is the new literally.

      • Barry Freed

        I hear echos of the war-bloggers “objectively pro-Saddam/fascist/terrorist.”

      • Aimai

        Objectively is the new literally.

        That made me laugh.

        • Barry Freed

          literally.

          • witless chum

            Okay, now you and DJW have to split the internet.

          • Uncle Ebeneezer

            Audibly.

      • Warren Terra

        Absolutely.

      • Captain Blicero

        I think Dilan might have some pedantic piece of trivia. I do remember our literally conversation.

        • I’m actually anti-pedant. The common usage of “literally” is correct even though pedants hate it.

          The problem with “objectively” is substantive, not definitional. Just because commenters say things FDB doesn’t like (or I don’t like) doesn’t make them horrible people, and it doesn’t make them “objectively” horrible either.

          But that doesn’t mean the definition doesn’t exist. You COULD say, for instance, that a concern troll was objectively helping the other side.

          • I’m actually anti-pedant.

            There is work to do to substantiate this in light of:

            It’s NOT called the “ACA”. There is no such bill. There is the PPACA, popularly known as Obamacare (and even the President calls it Obamacare). You don’t get to assert by fiat that health care is affordable.

            • I’m anti-pedant, but also anti-cheap spin. Anyone who thinks they can change reality by referring to the bill as the “Affordable Care Act” over and over again has drunk too much of Frank Luntz’ and George Lakoff’s Kool-Aid.

              • But dude, as I’ve pointed out time and again, cheap spin is not why people use ACA. I’ve seen absolutely no one correct anyone else’s use of PPACA or Obamacare telling them to use ACA instead which, at least, would be a sign that people thought that “ACA” was doing some work.

                It’s *bonkers* on your part.

                • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha (objectively a standard deviationist)

                  The Dilan Esper Revolutionary Parade will too not be abbreviated!

                  So there!

                • rea

                  It’s mostly because “PPACA” is two syllables longer than “ACA.”

                • DrSubstantiveComment – Processed in a Facility That Also Handles Snark

                  Some people are really desparate to constantly hold on to their “PP”

              • CD

                And you’d be happier if we called it the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act because ______________________________________________.

          • blastaar

            I totally get the sense of “if you are rooting against one team you are ‘objectively’ in favor of the other team.” I don’t see how Freddie thinks “objectively” is doing any work for him here, though, since “despicable” implies an emotional response (i.e., arousing disdain or contempt).

            It’s as if a Bizarro World Freddie (but I repeat myself) accused the LGM commenters of being “objectively adorable.”

            I believe he’s trying to get to, “Your commenters are despicable, and all right-thinking people think so,” but that rather gives the game away.

          • Caravelle

            I’ve just realized that “literally” is itself not literal, as even in its correct* usage it is rarely used to talk about things that are written down. Which I assume is the original idea, although now that I try and work through the hypothesis it doesn’t make that much sense because written words can be metaphorical too. Maybe it’s like “what the letters say, not what you’re imagining in your head”?

            *I’m a “literally” pedant because I once looked up Krokodil in google images, mistakenly thinking that “literally melts flesh off bones” was hyperbole. SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DILUTE THE MEANING OF IMPORTANT WORDS. (…don’t go see what happens)

      • SFAW

        Objectively is the new literally.

        Figuratively speaking?

    • Dr Ronnie James, DO

      I recall James Taranto ca 2002 saying that anyone who didn’t agree with everything Bush did in the GWOT was “objectively pro-terrorist.” So Freddie’s in good company.

      • It’s Lenin’s jargon for people who had the honor of being enemies of the state without realizing it. Orwell alas picked it up, and if you would see his monument, google ’round you.

        • DAS

          Neocons are objectively Bolsheviks.

    • KmCO

      When did “objectively” come to mean, “looked at a certain counter-intuitive, self-serving way”?

      Since Freddie re-wrote the dictionary that now includes the entry, under leftism, n.: the centrist contrarian ideology that views progressives and their lifestyle as a far more pernicious threat to leftism than the far-right conservative movement that has tried valiantly to dismantle the legacy of the New Deal and Civil Rights Act. Includes active hostility and condescension toward people of the female persuasion.

    • DrDick

      In this context, I think that is what it has always meant.

    • herr doktor bimler

      Meanwhile, here is one Freddie dB in 2009, in his now-deleted Wikipedia User Page:

      I dislike those that privilege their own system of looking at the world so that their own views are “objective” or “rational”, but those who disagree with them are under the influence of a cult or the supernatural.

      • Anonymous

        Hoist, petard, etc.

        • DrS

          Damnit

      • ChrisTS

        Gawds, that is objectively awful.

    • Halloween Jack

      When people started pitching to Slate?

  • Woo-hoo!

  • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha

    I think we should go with the shorter version:

    “Your commenters are objective” (Freddie de Boer, 2014).

  • Mom was RIGHT.

  • FMguru

    Finally, my ugliness and awfulness get the recognition they deserve!

  • joe from Lowell

    Hey, Freddy:

    Kiss my ass; this is a holy site!

    • Wait, is this like how immortals in Highlander can’t fight on holy ground? I have been seriously misled about this comment section.

    • Anonymous

      Kiss my ass; this is a holy site!

      I think this commenter has inadvertently hit upon the truth. Liberalism is a substitute for religion. It’s a way of life and not a political philosophy.A way for the shut-ins like c u n d to feel a part of something bigger.

      Praise ALGORE

      • jim, some guy in iowa

        oh, why don’t you just fuck off? it couldn’t be any less useful than your usual schtick

      • dh

        I think this commenter has inadvertently hit upon the truth. Trolling is a substitute for religion. It’s a way of life and not a political philosophy. A way for sad little people to feel a part of something bigger.

        Praise pancakes.

      • Warren Terra
        • efgoldman

          Thanx, I had forgotten.

        • Let me say that if I was a press flunky and someone shouted “What about your gaffe?” at me, I would be highly inclined to tell them to kiss my ass.

        • joe from Lowell

          Thank you, Warren.

          I hope that line is still in the banner rotation.

      • DrDick

        Did that make you feel a little better about your miserable failure of a life? Did you get a tiny, little hint of a tingle in your shriveled, diseased, and dysfunctional loins?

        • joe from Lowell

          Dude, don’t ask that; he might answer!

  • njorl

    I’m not objectively despicable, but I am objectively pro-dispicableness.

    • Chris

      Why these blogs need “like” buttons.

  • dh

    new t-shirt?

  • mark f

    It took a lot of refreshing, but I knew I had one up there:

    Dried ears are like potato chips to a cannibal.

    Apparently someone else liked it, too.

    • mark f

      First they came for the cannibals, and I said nothing, for I was not a cannibal.

      Then they came for Donald Sterling, and I said nothing, for I was not a decrepit old letch muttering anxiously about black people.

      Then they came for someone pro-Palestine, or something, but Freddie had already found something else to go on interminably about, and there was no one to speak for that guy.

      • Warren Terra

        I think you mean, “first they came for the cannibals, and I said nothing, for my mouth was full”.

      • People in skin houses shouldn’t throw cannibals.

        • Toberdog

          People in thin blouses shouldn’t throw cannonballs.

          • trollhattan

            That’s objectively wrong! Ladies, to your cannonballs, please.

          • Sarcastro the Munificient

            Moisturize me!

            • SFAW

              Talk about thin-skinned!

  • FL

    I was there for “all Internet traditions” and I was there for “objectively despicable.” It’s like St Crispin’s Day for wanking.

    • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha

      “Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
      And say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’
      Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
      But he’ll remember with advantages
      What feats he did that day: then shall our names
      Familiar in his mouth as household words…”

      (Henry V | Act 4, Scene 3)

      And yes, I know that Shakespeare was an objectively despicable playwright.

      • Methinks the blogger allege objective despicableness too much…

        • Keaaukane

          We few, we happy few. We, this band of brothers…

          I suspect I’m going to regret this, but who is this Freddy douche? I don’t feel like checking wikipedia, as I would guess he edits his own entry.

          • sharculese

            Leftier-than-thou blogger. Famously stumbled into Tiger Beatdown to lambaste Amanda Hess and Sadie Doyle as bad feminists because they were insufficiently humorless, got trolled to oblivion and ended up begging for mercy.

            Got front-paged at Baloon-Juice for reasons that are unclear (I mean besides John Cole being a troll), lost his shit whenever anyone disagreed with him, ended up getting laughed out of the place.

            Prone to goofily overwrought prose.

            Sniffs around the edges of blogosphere looking for people to harangue for being rightist deviants (often while making obviously conservative arguments). Was last seen here back when we were still infested with a lot of Paul-curious posters, mostly, as Erik describes below, to sneer at anyone who didn’t make drones the only issue they voted on.

            Also, as you can see below, he is completely bugfuck and cannot hand criticism. He’s like the funniest dude on the internet only he doesn’t realize it.

            • sharculese

              Will never be important enough for his own wikipedia page.

              • Jordan

                lol

                Freddie deBoer no longer edits Wikipedia.
                Thanks.

                • sharculese

                  If you click through to the talk page you can almost reconstruct the process that caused him to leave wikipedia in a huff.

                • herr doktor bimler

                  Let me just bring this back up from earlier versions of his Wiki User page:

                  I dislike those that privilege their own system of looking at the world so that their own views are “objective” or “rational”, but those who disagree with them are under the influence of a cult or the supernatural.

                • The liberal comment-thread HUAC

                  Freddie’s list of Wikicontributions is not without amusement. 40% of them seem to involve polishing his user-page manifesto, 50% try to start fights with other Wiki contributors, while 10% actually add information.

            • WAY more than I could have told anyone about, and that was truly impressive. But I’ll add that much of his oeuvre is complaining about deviants from leftier-than-thou orthodoxy right at the moment that deviant gets a job that takes them from scratching-together-a-living-as-a-blogger to someone with a good job with some prominence.

              • sharculese

                Some of it is from memory (I have Why Tiger Beatdown Has Jokes On It bookmarked), some of it is having my attention jogged by these posts (I’ll admit that my most distinct memory of Freddie’s time at B-J was scrolling past his posts, and that was before I knew about his history of churlishness). I also just have a head for ephemera.

                I saw you make that point about his motivations in the previous thread, and while I haven’t had enough experience with him to verify, it sounds eminently plausible.

              • Keaaukane

                Thanks for the information. I feel pretty safe ignoring him now.

                (Doing my famous Columbo imitation) Just one thing still troubles me. Did he get a big word like despicable from Daffy Duck, or the Despicable Me movies?

            • Brien Jackson

              True story, I bumped across Freddie on Facebook commenting on the status of a high0ish profile sports writer I’m friends with (I’m pretty sure it was Jonah Keri, but it might have been Will Leitch or…well I really don’t remember, but that’s the general plane we’re on). I made a passing reference to what a joke he is, and he tried to play the “I don’t know you peon game,” until I made the obligatory [BONERS] reference and provided everyone a link to the Tiger Beatdown post. He immediately forgot that he pretended he didn’t recognize my name and started accusing me of stalking him across the entire interwebs. It was glorious.

              • Jordan

                ha, the internets are great sometimes.

                • Brien Jackson

                  Yeah, I hate to admit that I got a perverse thrill upon double taking at the name, realizing that I was getting a chance to expose even more people to that epic Doyle post. And to spread the word of [BONERS].

            • Anonymous

              One presumes he voted for Nader in ’00? *grin*

            • Halloween Jack

              “Paul-curious” is my phrase of the day.

          • Dr. Acula

            This is a good start. If you define “good” fairly loosely.

            • Dr. Acula

              [note to self: refresh before commenting, crawl back under lurker rock]

    • Aimai

      I was there for “I am aware of all internet traditions” and “to the dismay of some on the left.” I find that rather frightening. I think I’m objectively spending too much time on the internet.

      • Warren Terra

        Don’t forget RICK VENEMA of COLONIAL HEIGHTS, VA

        • DrDick

          More low lights of all the internet traditions.

        • Linnaeus

          Or George Tierney of Greenville, South Carolina.

        • Joseph Slater

          I’m still not sure “RICK VENEMA” wasn’t a parody of sorts.

      • herr doktor bimler

        Aren’t you supposed to stay in the shadows, manipulating your cats-paws and minions* from afar, without leaving a trace of your involvement?

        * It’s tempting to include “cohorts” also as a tribute to Freddie hisself, who is objectively fond of the word.

        • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha

          Freddie can haz cohorts, but, as he’d be the first to tell you, we are objectively legion.

          • Origami Isopod

            Freddie can haz cohorts

            I’d say more a pint than a cohort.

        • herr doktor bimler

          2000 Ghits from "freddie deboer" + cohort.

    • DrDick

      Likewise!

    • dmsilev

      “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.
      Attack blogs on fire off the shoulder of Orion
      I watched see-me beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.
      All those… comments… will be lost in time, like tears… in… rain.
      Time …to lurk.”

      • Halloween Jack

        I read that as “Attack blogs on fire off the shoulder of the Onion”.

  • Warren Terra

    I comfort myself with the knowledge that subjectively I’m a beautiful butterfly.

    • giovanni da procida

      Objectively, you’re the Cruella de Vil of butterflies. I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you.

    • herr doktor bimler
      • giovanni da procida

        I’ll see your moth, and raise you a Hawaiian Eupethecia .

        • herr doktor bimler (partly rugose)

          To which I respond with Hyposmocoma molluscivora.

          • giovanni da procida

            I concede to your clearly superior knowledge of beautiful, yet deadly, invertebrates.

            I do take enormous consolation in the fact that objectively, you’re a despicable doktor. How many years did you spend in Despicable Medikal Schööl?

            • herr doktor bimler

              I am a Ph.Despic.

              • When you eat an apple, is that fruit in despic?

      • Lee Rudolph

        Since several dozen attacks on the author’s eyes during more than two decades have never resulted in any complications except occasionally a temporary inflammation, the risk of disease appears to be small. By letting himself be host to the moths, a person may gain important clues […]

        Psyche tolupephoris versus the Minotaurs of Oppression.

      • Halloween Jack

        Holy shit, someone actually drew a slake moth.

  • dp

    We do what we can.

  • I’ve never been prouder.

  • Better objectively despicable than despicable objectivists.

    • Auguste

      Ne plus ultra.

  • Nobdy

    It’s a fair cop.

  • efgoldman

    I don’t know how you can find so much to mock in the objectively unreadable writings of the most objectively boring person in the objectively English-speaking world.

    • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha

      Hold on, how did David Brooks get drawn into our figurative objectively despicable web?

      • efgoldman

        +1 for nym of the day.

    • Warren Terra

      But just wait! Once he gets his PhD in Rhetoric, ie the art of persuasion, his musings might be readable!

      (can you imagine: there are people obligated to read an entire thesis from this blowhard!)

      • Now imagine his thesis defense. Every professor who questions him will be declared an objectively despicable person.

        • sharculese

          Oh god, I wish I could be there when they have to drag him out of the room, eyes-a-bulging-veins-a-popping that last hoarse scream still lingering in his throat-

          ‘splitters,’ he’ll wheeze. ‘splitters.’

          • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha (objectively a standard deviationist)

            He’ll follow the heroic tradition of Martin Loofah who nailed his feces to the faculty club door.

      • Mole People Association

        I have a very strong feeling that rhetoric, to FDB, is really spittle flecked rage.

  • Daffy

    We’re dethpicable!

    • Shwell Thanksh
    • DAS

      Oops … I guess I should have read the thread before posting my question. I really am despicable, aren’t I?

  • Malaclypse

    I have not felt this proud since Donalde called me evil.

    • herr doktor bimler

      He hasn’t promoted you to Demonic yet?

      • I’m a Rim Stationer, so there’s a large hill to climb

    • DrDick

      Me, too!

    • DrS

      I had a twitter with erik son of erik that I’m rather fond of.

  • Vance Maverick

    I wonder if this Fredrik deBoer was his father or grandfather. I recall fondly a visit to Wesleyan to hear the gamelan and watch the shadow play….good stuff, if a trifle long.

    • djw

      Probably. In his infamous “gay people these days aren’t flaming enough for my taste” post, he mentions his father was a Theatre professor.

    • Jon H

      He went to Central Connecticut State for his undergrad, so probably.

  • DAS

    I am laughing out loud at this thread, which is problematic. My wife may wish for me to explain, however she is not “aware of all internet traditions” moreover I am not keen to admit to her that I am “objectively despicable”.

    BTW, “Does it ever occur to you guys that your commenters are objectively despicable people?” ??? Is “Freddie DeBoer” really Daffy Duck? Does pointing that out make me particularly, objectively despicable?

    • Warren Terra

      There really ought to be some sort of “One Of The Obthectively Dethpicable Commenterth” badge.

      • jim, some guy in iowa

        I’m thinking the t shirt could Daffy as Robin Hood after he got all wound up into a whirling frenzy and then stopped cold by Porky/Friar Tuck

  • Gwen

    :: claps wildly ::

  • Enjoy your HUAC meeting, fellas! Why you want to live this way– why you want to bathe in this swamp– I will never know. But I’m sure you’ll redbait your way to liberal paradise any day now. Lord knows, siccing your enormous, frightening band of pseudonymous McCarthyites against a grad student who writes a personal blog on WordPress will bring about that permanent Democrat majority I keep reading about. Say hi to Mickey Kaus for me.

    [Glenn Greenwald should be in Gitmo, something misogynistic about Megan McArdle, Muslims aren’t human, all the rest of the LGM commenter boilerplate]

    • “[Glenn Greenwald should be in Gitmo, something misogynistic about Megan McArdle, Muslims aren’t human, all the rest of the LGM commenter boilerplate]”

      Cites missing on all claims.

      I hope your dissertation is better sourced than your blog comments.

      • I also love the “I’m just a poor anonymous grad student with a tiny blog” schtick. Uh-huh.

      • efgoldman

        Was that really Freddie? Because it seems like an almost-perfect parody.

        And how does he know we’re all “fellas?” Hell, we don’t even know among ourselves.

        • Because women have never, ever criticized him on the internet so he can’t imagine it.

          • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha

            Can that really be the boner fide Freddie? Surely it must be an objectively accurate parody!

            • herr doktor bimler (partly rugose)

              +1 for Boner fide.

            • Yeah, stop posting under his name, Jenny!

          • Seriously laughed out loud at that one.

      • Jordan

        Cites missing on all claims

        As well as: red-baiting, HUAC meeting, and “siccing your enormous, frightening band … against a grad student … will bring about that permanent Democrat majority”.

        Its like, how much more divorced from reality could you be? None. None more divorced.

        /although, to be fair, this blog is unduly kind to Mickey Kaus.

        • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha (objectively a standard deviationist)

          Mao Cheng Ji says:
          5 May 2014 at 7:43 am
          It’s true, at LGM, to police the discussion, they employ a pack of rabid chihuahuas.

          Now, there’s what I would call an “objective” comment. How proud Freddie must be of the oasis of sweet reason that he, an ‘umble, an ever so ‘umble grad student maintains on WordPress!

          • Brien Jackson

            To state the obvious, what’s most hilarious about that is that it’s the most regular commenters here who go at each other with the most vigor when they disagree. I’ve had the bizarre experience of simultaneously agreeing with people in one thread and vehemently diasgreeing with them in others, even.

      • Jon H

        Is it possible he’s confused LGM with mid-2000s Little Green Footballs?

    • Jordan

      Well, that went about as expected.

    • Malaclypse

      McCarthyites

      You don’t actually know what this word means, do you?

      • Warren Terra
        • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha

          Well, like all true Scotsmen leftists I’m a Mike McCarthyite. Forward the proletarian revolution and public ownership of all NFL franchises!

          • I’m a Cormac McCarthyite myself. Helps explain the interest in dead horses as well.

            • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha

              Splitter!

              Which, of course, I say in an objectively struggle sessioning you for your own good sort of way, comrade Loomis.

              • Aimai

                I used to know who the dread pirate etc…was but I’m so old I’ve forgotten. Is it Gregor Sansa? Is it Bspencer? I seem to recall it emerged on one of those threads.

          • sharculese

            I’m just a plain-old McCarthyite.

            • Mrs Tilton

              +1. That song was my suggestion to the National Review tool compiling the list of “top conservative rock songs”. Manic Street Preachers do a half-decent cover.

              It’s sad that McCarthy never got the recognition they deserved. But then if they had, I imagine there’d have been no Stereolab.

              • sharculese

                Nice. I would have gone with God Made the Virus.

      • blastaar

        The foundational premise of this entry in the LGM Hall of Fame is that Freddie doesn’t know what words mean. Or perhaps only Freddie knows what words mean, and the rest of us are sadly mistaken.

      • Nor the words “and” and “the.”

      • I’m more a McCartneyite.

      • EliHawk

        I’m a big fan of Joe McCarthy. I mean, seven world titles and he even won the Cubs a pennant!

    • dh

      This feels dangerously close to infringing upon my First Amendment rights.

    • MAJeff

      Now flounce away!

      • Malaclypse

        Freddie don’t flounce.

        Now, what Freddie will do is endless “more in sorrow than in anger” posts. Now, most will simply be more narcissism, and Cthulhu knows we’ve seen enough of that over the last two days, but there are some gems in there. I mean really, Freddie being a white knight for McMegan – how great is that?

        Someone needs to write a screenplay for the Fabulous Feminist Date between Freddie and McMegan.

        • For a self-declared leftist, Freddie sure defends a lot of plutocrats and their lackeys.

          • Barry Freed

            And since when did they let avowed socialists on HUAC?

        • herr doktor bimler (partly rugose)

          Freddie being a white knight for McMegan

          I assume he is talking backwards, while the Red Queen’s “Off with her head”.

        • sharculese

          He’s absolutely still reading this thread.

        • wjts

          Someone needs to write a screenplay for the Fabulous Feminist Date between Freddie and McMegan.

          My Dinner With Megan
          by Freddie deBoer, Superfeminist

          Freddie: Megan, I’m so sorry that an enormous, frightening band of pseudonymous McCarthyites said misogynistic things about you. I hope that this lavish dinner will, in some small way, make up for the horrific and unwarranted abuse you have suffered.

          Megan: Thank you, Freddie. You are a true gentleman, the only real leftist who despite all odds and rancorous opposition fights the good fight in a fallen world that does not deserve your spectacular generosity of spirit, and a man whose towering intellect can only be compared to your spectacularly impressive penis.

          Freddie: I know all of those things are true, but really, I’m just a humbly brilliant graduate student who outshines all of his professors and has a humble personal blog that encapsulates the true wisdom of the left in its most pure and brilliant form. I just wish more people understood that.

          Megan: I understand that, Freddie. You’re so wonderful and so perfect. Even though I am a superfeminist myself, I have learned so much about feminism from you and the incredibly erudite things you write on the Internet.

          Freddie: I know you have, Megan. I am the feministiest. If I had to pick but one of my numerous accomplishments to point to as the crowning glory of 100,000 years of the evolution and development of our species, it would probably be my definitive and absolute articulation of the best, most leftist, most perfect feminist principles. As a humble graduate student nobody, I mean.

          Megan: But Freddie! Why should you have to choose just one of your numerous accomplishments to point to as the crowning glory of 100,000 years of the evolution and development of our species? You have so many, and have accomplished so much, even though you are just a humble graduate student with a a humble personal blog. Why, even given your unremarkable standing, you have already outshone Euripides, Petrarch, and Isaac Newton as the best, most original mind in the whole of human history!

          Freddie: I know that that is true, Megan, but you have left numerous important women off of your list of people who are not quite as clever and wonderful as I am. As a superfeminist, this is the kind of thing I notice.

          Megan: Oh, Freddie, you are right to correct my woefully inadequate knowledge of feminist principles. As a foolish woman who sometimes makes jokes, I am incapable of treating this subject with the gravity it deserves. Thank goodness you never succumb to such errors of analysis!

          Freddie: Yes, thank goodness for me – Freddie deBoer, superfeminist.

          Fin.

          • Scott Lemieux

            wjts has the comment of the thread, but there’s still plenty of time, you despicable people.

            • mark f

              I mean, there’s time, but that seems like a technicality. The Mavs had time against the Spurs on Sunday, too.

          • That’s pretty goddamn good right there.

          • Objectively superbrilliant.

            • You know, whatever negative there might be to say about Freddie, he sure inspires some brilliant comedy. [BONERS] is, of course, the winner forever, but this is really amazingly funny.

              He’s like the loser muse: His loserness is so fecund that it inspires a greatest that he so desperately wants, but can never have.

              And for funs, I hereby insert Dilan Esper into this comment!

              • Scott Lemieux

                Honestly, I really think these references to Dilan are unfair. 1)Right or wrong, he engages on the merits, and 2)he might dish it out but he can take it.

                • Brien Jackson

                  +1

                • Jordan

                  Right or wrong, he engages on the merits

                  Well, sometimes. Other times he is an absolute tone troll who will go on and on and on about how snarky this person is being, and how that is bad, and by the way has he told you about the state of discourse on the internet? Oh also, using the term “mansplaining” silences intelligent discourse, obviously.

                  I mean, he is absolutely no [boners], and he does engage on the merits quite often. But lets not go too far.

                • I think we’ll have to disagree.

                  He can sorta take it sometimes.

                  He often does not even begging to engage in the merits.

                  And look, he just in these past threads got all upset because someone mentioned his name. Is it unfair to gently mock that?

                  Obviously, I don’t think so.

                  (Feeling a bit surprised to get push back on this. It’s not like I don’t engage Dilan plenty on the merits.)

                • Oh is it that you think there’s an equating of Dilan and deBoer?

                  Sorry, I didn’t intend that and have explicit said otherwise. This is me just gratuitously inserting an unrelated Dilan mention in accordance with his claim that we always do this.

                • Scott Lemieux

                  Oh is it that you think there’s an equating of Dilan and deBoer?

                  Sorry, I didn’t intend that and have explicit said otherwise. This is me just gratuitously inserting an unrelated Dilan mention in accordance with his claim that we always do this.

                  Ah, gotcha. Fair enough.

                • Whew! I spent the whole morning afraid that I was going to be the next chummed up victim of your viciously vile horde.

                  That “+1” from Brien was esp. chilling. That “+1” was *me*…another scalp on the LGM wall!!!! Or maybe it’s like a smiley? A cross that “1” (I?) would be crucified on!

                  Whew. *Now* I understand the scary world Freddie walks in.

                  Except I have a date with a feminist.

                • omg, what a lovely photo.

                • Listen to some of the music and you’ll know how lucky I really am :)

                  I didn’t take that one, but I did take one on the photos page and most on the albums. You might like the album art (which Zoe did as well).

                  Video is the next frontier I’m struggling with :)

          • BigHank53

            I knew you’d spent some time in the fanfic gulags, but I had no idea you’d had to spend time in the Mary Sue camp. May Grabthar have mercy on your soul.

          • Malaclypse

            You are the wind beneath my wings.

          • Francis

            Freddie: What a beautiful hollandaise you have poured over the delicately blanched asparagus. As a true feminist, I am aware of how time-consuming and labor-intensive the production of this is. You should have allowed me the opportunity to demonstrate my greater forearm strength inherent in my gender and let me make the sauce.

            Megan: Oh Freddie, what a wonderful demonstration of your manly feminism. But I made the hollandaise in my Thermo-Mix.

            • Origami Isopod

              You should have allowed me the opportunity to demonstrate my greater forearm strength inherent in my gender and let me make the sauce.

              You have to admit, Freddie’s really good at that.

              • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha (objectively a standard deviationist)

                Freddie’s bonerfied sauce brings all the girls to his yard.

                • Origami Isopod

                  Intellectual rigor makes it possible.

          • IM

            Nice, but you make McArdle looking to good.

        • The liberal comment-thread HUAC

          Someone needs to write a screenplay for the Fabulous Feminist Date between Freddie and McMegan.

          BLACKLISTED.

          • LittlePig

            Dalton Trumbo to the white courtesy phone! Your call is waiting.

    • fka AWS

      You are also the boring, tendentious, holier-than-thou prick who got driven off Balloon Juice because he couldn’t handle pushback, gets laughed at and made fun of by Gawker commenters, and got his ass handed to him several times by a feminist blogger whose name escapes me at the moment.

      You are about one step above Conor Friederpdork in the League of tl;dr Gentlemen.

      • sharculese

        It was Sadie Doyle and Amanda Hess, all glory to the bonerslayers.

        • fka AWS

          Thank you! I read that whole thread with appropriate schadenfreude and promptly forgot where it was, but the [BONERS] impression it made lives on.

        • Scott Lemieux

          Here you go. Make sure, in this context, to scroll down to the second comment. And then for a digestif see comment 38, which could not be more awesome.

          • That is all-time classic stuff.

            • Brien Jackson

              It made Freddie and his [BONERS] an internet tradition!

          • Jordan

            So, I never actually went through and read all the comments to that post. And they are glorious.

            105. [WE STAND IN SOLIDARITY WITH FREDDIE’S BONERS AGAINST THOSE WHO WOULD DENY THEM. THEY CAN TAKE OUR BONERS, BUT THEY’LL NEVER TAKE: OUR BONNNERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!]

          • DAS

            Freddie’s comment prompting that post as well as his response reminds me oh so much of TV’s Maude upon finding learning Florida Evans’ name. Am I being despicable in pointing this out?

          • Greg

            Meanwhile, I will engage in the ethical project of my life, which is the project of liberation, a project which I do not and will not ever ask for anyone’s permission to undertake

            This quote is quite possibly the single most pretentious arrangement of letters possible in the English language.

      • Lee Rudolph

        fka AWS:

        got driven off Balloon Juice

        John Cole, earlier this morning (1:02 AM):

        Yes, Balloon Juice is silencing the heretics. We’ve silenced Freddie so much that he used to post here and still has an active account.

        I guess those aren’t actually incompatible, though.

    • dexitroboper

      [Glenn Greenwald should be in Gitmo, something misogynistic about Megan McArdle, Muslims aren’t human, all the rest of the LGM commenter boilerplate]

      Deserves to be in the Hall Of Fame as well.

      • dh

        Given an ungenerous reading and FdB’s penchant for exaggeration, I can see how he could think the first two, but where the hell does the Muslims aren’t human come from?

        • sharculese

          I tried to Freddie this out in the other thread, and as far as I can Freddie he’s talking about drones.

        • It comes from us criticizing Friedersdorf and DeBoer and the like for privileging their pet issue of drones over everything else in the 2012 elections and telling people to vote for 3rd party candidates. When we pointed out that this was problematic because despite the unfortunate Obama drone policy the two parties have real differences that affect people on women, gays, environmental issues, unions, workplace safety, energy, etc., etc., the response was that LGM hates Muslims.

          • dh

            Obviously the correct conclusion. Given our objective despicableness.

    • rea

      Goodness, don’t you think it would be in your long-run best interests to outgrow being foolish in public?

    • sharculese

      I dunno why you choose to wallow in the doldrums of artless pretension but I manage not to be a sniveling try-hard about.

    • The prophet Nostradumbass

      Freddie : “HUAC meetings” :: right wingers : ” is just like Slavery”

      • Scott Lemieux

        His tendency to equate disagreement with lynching makes this extra true.

    • sharculese

      2 more things:

      siccing your enormous, frightening band of pseudonymous McCarthyites against a grad student who writes a personal blog on WordPress

      So did anyone from here actually go over there and troll Freddie and if so, ugh, why? You know he’s not self-aware enough to get it, right?

      and

      something misogynistic about Megan McArdle,

      You’re basically never going to get over getting caught being the world’s worst feminist, are you?

      • fka AWS

        He’s also downplaying his media-seeking role more than a bit. Like I said above, he comments all over the place. If he were just running “a personal blog on WordPress” his name wouldn’t be splashed all over Google search results and he wouldn’t have been named one of the “50 least important writers of 2012” by Gawker.

        • sharculese

          He is honored to be on this list, and his inclusion here likely proves some point of his.

          lol

        • Heh.

          I’m so unimportant, Gawker didn’t even bother to list me.

      • Jordan

        So did anyone from here actually go over there and troll Freddie and if so, ugh, why? You know he’s not self-aware enough to get it, right?

        The comment thread is kinda special.

        Gun nuts? Yes. Old LGM blah-blah-blaher Ethan Gach? Duh. Terrible internet person Mao Cheng Ji? Of course. That quiddity guy? Well, sure.

        But then! Paulist libertarians? YES! People who lead their comments with “Duke Lacross Rape Case”? MOST DEFINITELY! Unapologetic Racists? STOP ASKING THESE OBVIOUS QUESTIONS.

        But, yeah, its LGM that has a commenter problem.

        • Jordan

          Oh also: Freddie does enter into the comments. To passively-aggressively sneer at people who disagree with him. Not to do anything with the gun nuts, the misogynists, the racists, the paulists (but I repeat myself).

          True Leftist Freddie DeBoer!

          • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha

            Online liberalism, as I’ve said many times, is not actually a series of political beliefs and alliances but instead a set of social cues that are adopted to demonstrate one’s class background…

            Well, we can’t all be raised in abject poverty and proletarian authenticity as the Marxier than thou children of objectively theater professors.

            • sharculese

              Freddie deBoer: world’s foremost expert on what the fuck is wrong with Freddie deBoer

              • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha

                Ahem.

                Freddie deBoer: world’s foremost unwitting expert on what the fuck is objectively wrong with Freddie deBoer

        • sharculese

          Jesus Christ.

          I guess any attention is better than no attention. Maybe?

          • Jordan

            I suppose. It is funny that he has numerous people provide substantive replies to him in comments (including Scott!). He engages with none of them. And then whines some more about people snarking or whatever.

        • Aimai

          Well isn’t this special?

          But liberals have long abandoned these kinds of arguments. Instead, they’ve adopted the depoliticized position that Donald Sterling’s primary sin was hurting people’s feelings, and this leads to perverse outcomes where more controversial left wing critiques of inequities (like “Israel is an apartheid state”) will also be regarded as hurtful. The political and cultural status quo determines what’s considered hurtful and whose feelings count in what scenarios, so arguments in those terms simply reinforce the status quo.

          In outlets like Salon and others, liberals’ use of these arguments betray their complacency. Their primary commitment is not to the cause of justice, but to reinforcing their position as society’s moral exemplars and that means not taking any risks.

          • sharculese

            Translation: While he’s been hatelurking here, Freddie noticed Erik had to ban an anti-semite and cannot help but rush to the defense of a fellow victim of LGM’s digital hegemony.

            Truly, the Jew-hater is the Jew of the niche liberal blog.

        • Barry Freed

          OMG, the best thing about that comment thread is the reappearance of Mao Cheng Ji bemoaning his banning from Crooked Timber.

          • sharculese

            I’m not familiar with that person. Is he more or less insufferable than Data T?

            • Barry Freed

              Yes, abb1 was his earliest incarnation. Then Henri Vieuxtemps and Data Tatasakhia or however it’s spelled. I’ve been expecting him to return to CT under some equally obvious yet obscure name but it looks like he’s still chugging away at deBoers’ site under his last moniker.

              • Barry Freed

                So not just more or less insufferable but more or less the same exact person.

              • sharculese

                Wait, so that is Data?

                Dear god, I remember that month he was allowed to post here. That was a bad time.

                • Jordan

                  Yeah, its the same person, apparently. They’ve been around crooked timber forever (until the recent pleasantness), but data was the only LGM incursion I remember.

                  Which, at the least, let me make Star Trek jokes, so there was that.

                • Oy. I fell for that, sadly.

                • sharculese

                  I knew enough of him to know that this was a bad scene and that I shouldn’t engage, but that was my first experience with the legend.

            • Bruce Baugh

              Possibly the same person. Certainly no less insufferable, with the whole “doing anything to help actual people with actual needs makes you a stooge” schtick.

            • Scott Lemieux
          • Jordan

            Yeah, that is when the thread moved from eyerolls to lulz.

          • IM

            also: Hector St. Clare.

            crooked timber rejects and assorted right-wingers seem to be the main stay of commenters over there.

        • Bruce Baugh

          Wow. In the very first few comments, denuncations of the ACLU for not being big against control and unsourced allegations about how they’re all PC now.

          It’s classic, in its terribly stupid and mean way.

          • Jordan

            Yeah, its completely terrible all around.

            Which is what makes Freddie’s bizzaro claims about LGM commenters *even more* hilarious.

        • Scott Lemieux

          Old LGM blah-blah-blaher Ethan Gach?

          Thanks to steeped pyramids, I will never read a comment from that guy without thinking of someone blowing bubbles out of a white plastic Sherlock Homes pipe. Freddie really needs to put him on the masthead of his blog.

          • Jordan

            Ok, now I’m just giggling.

        • Ronan

          Mao/data/etc could be pretty funny though, in fairness.

      • IM

        So did anyone from here actually go over there and troll Freddie and if so, ugh, why

        Four or Five.

        Why? They are regular LGM commenters; so they like to argue.

        Ant that is a good thing.

        • fixed

          They are regular LGM commenters; so objectively despicable.

    • Enjoy your PANCAKE meeting, fellas! Why you want to live this way– why you want to bathe in this syrup– I will never know. But I’m sure you’ll wafflebait your way to pancake paradise any day now. Mrs. Butterworth knows, siccing your fluffy, buttery band of pseudonymous McPancake-Bites against a Waffle House cook who writes a personal pancake on WafflePancake will bring about that permanent Pancake majority I keep reading about. Say hi to Pancake Kaus for me.

      [Glenn Greenwald should be in Pancakes, something misogynistic about Sady Doyle, Pancakes aren’t human, all the rest of the LGM pancake waffle iron]

    • sharculese

      I mean, I guess on the other hand, I get how cracking more jokes at the expense of Frederik, 1st Earl of Boners is giving him what he wants, but then back to that first hand… the jokes are really funny.

      So in conclusion I think it’s been a while since I cracked wise about Freddie’s bro-tastic picture.

      Motherfucker looks like the line outside a 311 concert.

      • mark f

        I don’t get it.

        • Jordan

          Its a band from the previous century.

        • sharculese

          311 were/are a vanguard act of the late 90s/early 2000s subculture known as bro. Bro was a aesthetic/political doctrine that emphasized consuming large quantities of cheap intoxicants, the comforting normality of being white and male, and “dang man, I was totally gonna vote for Bush but then I was hungover and did you know you have to register before the election?”

          In his picture, Freddie has adopted the iconic uniform of the bro movement- a pastel-colored polo shirt with sleeves falling about midway of the upper arm. This is in comedic contrast to his professed ultralefist position.

          • Jordan

            True story: my partner *loves* 311. Which is always a, uh, change of pace from her usual fare of women rawkers when we are doing drunken couples youtube karaoke.

            • sharculese

              Is it like a holdover from high school thing? My brother had a fondness for 311 that lingered way longer than it should have.

              • Jordan

                Yeah, as best as I can tell. I don’t know for sure because whenever I poke her about it she just starts up the youtube again.

              • KmCO

                I have some Facebook acquaintances who celebrate “311 Day” every March, without fail, and then splash Newsfeed with their photos. I didn’t have any idea that 311 were ever momentous enough to have garnered their own holiday, but I don’t talk to a lot of bros.

                • sharculese

                  March 11th is essentially a practice session for April 20th.

                • Scott Lemieux

                  March 11th is essentially a practice session for April 20th.

                  Yikes, it was bad enough that my birthday had Antonin Scalia.

              • Jordan

                although, to be fair, I never got the impression that 311 were themselves (or their music) … uh … objectively “pro-broish.” More like Dave Mathews: Terrible fans, music not to my taste, but whatevs.

                • Another Holocene Human

                  Terrible employees, too–I don’t dislike their music although it’s overplayed but I do hold a grudge about the time their tour bus operator dumped the sewage tanks over the Chicago River, showering tourists in a boat in raw sewage. All to evade whatever fee Chicago charges to remove solid wastes.

          • mark f

            All right.

    • I’ve never said any of those things, nor do any of them ring a bell for the LGM commenters, but I have made fun of your obvious infatuation with the righteousness and purity of your own rod and tackle. Or [BONER], as one says.

      I may use a handle here, but it takes two clicks at the most to find out my name, what I do, and where I live. I’m not hiding behind a pseudonymous wall — I’m proud to be here to show you a mirror so you can see a clown staring back.

      And Freddie: you aren’t a leftist. The anonymous right-wing trolls here are better leftists than you. When leftism is judged as actual, sincere concern for the well-being of the oppressed, compared to you Max Baucus is a Bolshevik. You’re a self-adoring, preening poseur, and your “politics” boil down to nothing more than the process of choosing opportunities for self-aggrandizement.

    • This is…classic?

      Enjoy your HUAC meeting, fellas!

      I would say this is hallucinatory, but peeking ahead, I should save this for later. Can I just observe that in addition to being obscure (it took me a while to get it; don’t most people just say “mcarthyism”? how is this better?) and incoherent (a blog with a comment section that links to you is exactly like a congressional committee that led to the blacklisting of people in absolutely no way; people complained about this *giving you oxygen and hits and prominence*), it’s close to the worst things said in these several threads. I mean, it’s pretty damn offensive.

      Why you want to live this way– why you want to bathe in this swamp– I will never know. But I’m sure you’ll redbait your way to liberal paradise any day now. Lord knows, siccing your enormous, frightening band of pseudonymous McCarthyites

      In addition to being otiose and hallucinatory (did any of the “enormous, frightening band” come and harass you on your blog? are you still ignoring the routine treatment women get while blogging?!), this is also wrong at almost every level: Red baiting involves accusing someone of being *more left* whereas most people are accusing you of being *less* left.

      So, really unmoored entirely from reality.

      against a grad student who writes a personal blog on WordPress

      It’s a personal blog on your professional site (or do you have your CV and teaching portfolio there for your mom to read?) and your public persona is of political commenter, not of grad student in your area. If you can’t get the details of your own life right..oh what’s the use.

      [snip]

      [Glenn Greenwald should be in Gitmo, something misogynistic about Megan McArdle, Muslims aren’t human, all the rest of the LGM commenter boilerplate]

      And this is pretty close to being at the vile end of the spectrum.

      So, boring projection. I’m not sure what you think you are accomplishing, but I am sincere in saying that it’s not going well and it wouldn’t be hard to do better.

      • sharculese

        (it took me a while to get it; don’t most people just say “mcarthyism”? how is this better?)

        If I had to be charitable and make a distinction I would say that McCarthy was more opportunistic and HUAC more sincere, but realistically the answer is that Freddie wanted the more obscure reference, because well, if you had to think about it, I guess that means he’s smarter than you.

        Remember, it’s Freddie, so never assume communication is the intent.

        • Yeah but he said it like 4 or 5 times like it meant something. I kept wondering why it was so bad to have meetings about vacuum cleaners and then I twigged.

          • sharculese

            As someone who got the reference it wasn’t actually more clear what he meant, at least not from the initial invocation of ‘HUAC-quality liberal.’

            I couldn’t decide if he meant

            A.) The kind of liberal who would engage in a HUAC-esque witch-hunt

            or

            B.) Some sort of tame liberal who went along with the HUAC hearings because out of fear (something I don’t recall being a main factor of HUAC).

            And then I eventually realized that he meant

            C.) The kind of liberal who would enthusiastically join HUAC because they were totes jelly of just how principled the Communists were, a thing I’m pretty sure has just no basis in history.

            • I think that’s part of why I was confused: It’s not just that the acronym is so obsolete but that the reference is so incoherent!

              If you said, “Darryl Issa’s oversight committee is the new HUAC” I’d like to think I’d get it (not because Issa per se, but er…they are both congressional committees).

              “This comment section is the new HUAC” I’m all….huh?

              • dh

                Are these comments going to get FdB blacklisted in Hollywood?

            • Origami Isopod

              Knick-knack, paddy-HUAC, give a dog a [BONERS]…

        • IM

          While McCarthy is the face today, HUAC was much more effective.

      • herr doktor bimler

        My love of the word “otiose” barely stays within the bounds of decency. “Nugatory” too. Reading Veblen is probably to blame.

        • A kindred spirit!

        • DrS

          When cannabis is fully legalized in California, I’m gonna open a shop called “The Nugatory”

    • trollhattan

      something misogynistic about Megan McArdle,

      Dude, it’s “twit” with an “i”. Objectively.

    • max

      Lord knows, siccing your enormous, frightening band of pseudonymous McCarthyites

      Freddie, lots of people can be dickish, and ahem, LORD KNOWS academics can be all high & mighty, but McCarthyites? RLY?

      Say hi to Mickey Kaus for me.

      He called. He wants his schtick back.

      against a grad student who writes a personal blog on WordPress will bring about that permanent Democrat majority I keep reading about

      Objectively speaking, you are really easy to wind up, kid.

      max
      [‘This is just pitiful, man. Take a vacation or something.’]

    • Scott Lemieux

      But I’m sure you’ll redbait your way to liberal paradise any day no

      As someone once said, “So, in other words, you aren’t capable of defending your ideas, and so you freak out when someone calls you out on some of them.” This goes triple for the preposterous idea that any criticism of you here is “redbaiting.”

      Democrat majority

      Yep, you’re really the World’s Last Remaining Principled Leftist of Principle.


      something misogynistic about Megan McArdle

      This is a card you really don’t want to play.

    • Brien Jackson

      I’ll be honest, I too don’t even believe this is our dear friend [BONERS}. Not nearly enough overwrought prose.

      But in any case, as I said in the last thread on this I’m not going to suffer any lectures on liberalism from someone who doesn’t think th right to due process covers a right to have rape allegations thoroughly investigated by the police, and that if the police department actively covers up the crime because the accused is a high profile athlete we should just accept that as the limitations of the liberal order or something.

    • Sarcastro the Munificient

      Glenn Greenwald should be in Gitmo

      Only if there’s an editor there.

    • Captain Blicero

      Apparently it’s sexist to write about how McArdle is a professional troll and hasn’t written anything insightful or intelligent in years, if ever. Do you know what words mean?

    • Halloween Jack

      Muslims aren’t human

      You’re assuming that that’s an insult, speciesist? Feel free to take your carbon-based bigotry elsewhere, pinkskin.

    • joe from Lowell

      Enjoy your HUAC meeting, fellas! Why you want to live this way– why you want to bathe in this swamp– I will never know.

      The projection is strong with this one.

      Fredo, all you ever do is write posts attacking liberals for ideological transgressions. It is the sum total of your entire internet presence.

      You don’t get to spend all day, every day throwing punches, and then play Jesus on the cross when you take a pop in the chops.

      • ChrisTS

        Jesus on the cross.

        That’s exactly it, isn’t it? He has a persecution complex rivaled in size only by his ego.

    • Stag Party Palin

      Enjoy your HUAC meeting, fellas!

      Balls. It’s HULK (House Un-Liberal Kommittee) bozo.

  • The Ghost in the Machine

    re: the bizarre television complaining, I think it’s hilarious that with the edit to the television post, the conversation between deBoer and his commenters is something like this:

    “Hurr durr durr stupid TV complaint.”
    “Feddie, that really doesn’t make much sense, not to mention that by complaining so vociferously about it you come across as a little hypocritical.”
    “Hurrrrrrrrr joke’s on you I was only joking.”

    This is basically the equivalent of an asshole acting like an asshole on an internet forum or on reddit or what have you, then trying to turn it around and play it for a joke once people correctly note what an ass they’re being.

    • Jordan

      Yeah, its the “this is central to my point” of internet blah-blah-blahing douchebaggery

    • mark f

      I’ll just leave these here:

      Freddie deBoer on Girls:

      For me, it’s really very simple: I am absolutely bored to death with stories about upper class educated white people struggling to find themselves after college. Is there a story that has been told more often? I would guess that there isn’t. It’s a mini-genre all onto itself, and an absolutely inescapable one. An endless number of movies comes out, year after year, about this topic. Probably half of all sitcom pilots produced have this general plot. Publishing houses are choked with pitches and manuscripts, written by affluent educated strivers, about affluent educated strivers, for an audience of affluent educated strivers. It is unavoidable, and I’m sorry, I’ve just had my fill. It isn’t just the same themes and the same attitudes, presented again and again. It’s the self-aggrandizing pretense that we’re all supposed to care, the utter lack of self-awareness in assuming that nothing could be more endlessly fascinating than watching affluent kids trying to figure out who they really are. I have run out of artistic empathy for such people; it’s just been exhausted through repetition.

      Freddie deBoer on Freddie deBoer (no links, to avoid moderation-trap; it can all be easily googled):

      I will engage in the ethical project of my life, which is the project of liberation, a project which I do not and will not ever ask for anyone’s permission to undertake.

      My father [is] a theater professor.

      • Ooooooooohhhhh

        • Vance Maverick

          To be clear, there is less than nothing wrong with being a theater professor. (As I wrote upthread, I’ve benefited from his father’s work.) But the discomfort with stories that are too close to home does fit with the kind of tail-chasing self-cancelling lashing out we know from the political Freddie.

          • mark f

            Yes, that was my point. To be clear.

          • Oh yeah, of course there’s nothing wrong with that. But the complete lack of self-awareness when he comes from the exact background which he criticizes others for shows his typical problem in a stark way.

          • sharculese

            I don’t fucking watch Girls because it lands a bit close to home.

            I manage to not wear that as some perverse badge of honor.

            • Barry Freed

              I read your last as “some perverse badge of hodor.”

              • sharculese

                I don’t watch Game of Thrones for completely different reasons!

                (I was really in ASoIaF as a teenager, and you just could not do anything to drag me back to that property, at this point.)

                • mds

                  (I was really in ASoIaF as a teenager, and you just could not do anything to drag me back to that property, at this point.)

                  If I were really in ASoIaF, and somehow escaped, I don’t think I’d care to go back, either. Well, maybe Oldtown or Braavos. But everywhere else seems to be buried in more crap than a GOP convention.

                • sharculese

                  blurgh

        • MAJeff

          Definitely a Church Lady moment.

      • jim, some guy in iowa

        “but I’ve said enough about me- why don’t you talk about me for a while?”

      • Halloween Jack

        White man has problems with white people having problems?

      • ChrisTS

        What seems especially odd about this (leaving his own lack of self-awareness aside) is that he’s wrong.

        Half the sitcoms have no such theme. An endless number of movies about this do not come out each year (even if we changed ‘endless’ to something meaningful). I doubt that publishing houses are overrun with books along these lines.

    • sharculese

      It’s kind of sad, more than anything else, just the sheer level of joylessness on display.

      Dude needs to crack a beer and read fucking Marmaduke.

      • But forsooth, he dost not ask thyne permission to sally forth on his divine crusayde of Liberatione.

        Had things turned out differently, he’d be one of those guys who put a “Molon Labe” bumper sticker on his truck after he saw that one movie, right next to his “One Big Ass Mistake America” sticker. He’s exactly the kind of guy who likes to portray himself as a lone warrior against the tides of misfortune.

        • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha (objectively a standard deviationist)

          He’s a lone worrier against the tides of self-inflicted misfortune, that’s for sure.

        • Pseudonym

          What’s the over/under on when he pulls a David Horowitz?

          • The liberal comment-thread HUAC

            Srsly, how would you know the difference?

            • Manny Kant

              More red-baiting, fewer accusations of red-baiting?

      • Lee Rudolph

        fucking Marmaduke

        Objectively Santorumian.

      • DrS

        Dude needs to crack a beer and read fucking Marmaduke.

        That’s a really big dog!

    • Jordan

      Oh also, direct quote from the [boners] dealy:

      you want to be heard and to be taken seriously, but you want the out to be able to say that you were just goofing. Well, goof away, it’s the Internet, and it’s your dime, but understand that you are denying intellectual rigor when you do so.

      • The Ghost in the Machine

        +1

      • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha (objectively a standard deviationist)

        “…understand that you are denying intellectual rigor..”

        Well, if that doesn’t terrify them, nothing will.

  • whetstone

    Bless his heart, Freddie de Boer does inspire some of the Internet’s best things.

    Like, maybe feed you saltpeter so that your all-important feminist erection ceases to exist and/or become a determining factor for how you will allow women to talk about their own oppression: I would do that, on your magical Fantasy Date With Sady.

    In case you were wondering why he might find the subject of the consequences of speech particularly near and dear to his heart.

  • Terrence of Arkansas

    I’ve enjoyed reading LG & M for years, but must confess it the troll beatdowns that I truly love. I’ve spent all afternoon putting Mr. De Boer in the Google machine and am having trouble believing he is a real person. I read his “Golden Age” of TV thingy and noticed that he decided it was a ‘joke’ after getting some feedback over it. Anyway, thanks and keep up the good work!

    • Judkins Major

      Likewise; I particularly love the dramatic perfection (and timing!) of FDB’s entry into this comment section.

  • In our old colonial home,
    We acted bitter while our empire fell.
    Leave my [BONER] alone,
    Leave my [BONER] alone.

    • old colonial home

      RICK V ENEMA, is that you?

  • Dan

    fuck all y’all and yr high-minded wanking contests, frankly

    • Jordan

      high-minded wanking contests

      hmmm

      ‘No results found for “high-minded wanking contests”‘

      Excellent!

      • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha (objectively a standard deviationist)

        We wank as high as any contest in Wome!

        • Gregor Sansa

          +1σ

        • Jordan

          Sigh. Sometimes things just go over my head.

          • Warren Terra
            • The prophet Nostradumbass

              I will Welease Wodewick!

            • Jordan

              Ahhh right. In my defense, I am not an old person.

              (just kidding, I remember it being funny the one time I saw it).

  • Morbo

    Hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I… wait, what was the third thing you said?

    • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha

      “Nice shoes!”

  • Two points one movie related, the other recursive.

    1) All I can think about is Daffy Duck saying disthpicable.

    2) Is the LGM Hall of Fame an Internet Tradition?

    • Barry Freed

      2) Is the LGM Hall of Fame an Internet Tradition?

      It’s a bit meta but if it’s not it certainly should be.

  • dh

    You’ll notice that you didn’t even attempt to answer the basic question: how do you defend the rights of a CEO who is forced out because he supports a woman’s right to an abortion? Or a sports team owner who is frozen out because he supports a Palestinian state?

    I feel like many of the comments answered this question? Why is FdB choosing to chum the waters by hurling hilarious insults at us instead of engaging in a conversation about this issue? I wonder if he missed those comments because of all the tears.

    • sharculese

      Also, Scott answered the question by saying he would be fine with that, too.

      It was like minutes between the post going live and Freddie doing his trademark skree-by. Motherfucker objectively did not have time to both read the post and churn out that bullshit.

      • Pseudonym

        Also, Eich and Sterling revealed that they thought of some of their employees as less than fully human with all attendant rights, something not true in Freddie’s examples.

        • Manny Kant

          What if he CEO employs a lot of fetuses?

  • I would like more details about the induction ceremony. Are there flowers? Fireworks? Is the inductee swaddled in fine linen, gently placed upon a swooning couch and then solemnly splattered with five gallons of artisnal pancake batter?

    • Arty Snail

      I resemble that remark.

    • Warren Terra

      Well, the more merely objectively diresputable people are satisfied with anointing your brow with pancake batter, but the objectively despicable people insist on full immersion. The scene can wind up like something from Maurice Sendak’s In The Night Kitchen.

    • Halloween Jack

      *sigh* Only in my dirty, dirty dreams.

  • caesaigh

    Gawdammalluvyew. Go and give ONE F*%&@$#*! FINAL and the whole intertubes goes and gets shitfacedely incivilized.

    Barbarians, the lot.

  • pzerzan

    We all know why FDB is hating on TV-his pilot got rejected…

    • herr doktor bimler (partly rugose)

      It was BLACKLISTED by the new comment-thread HUAC.

      • The prophet Nostradumbass

        I personally cashed in some “Tailgunner Joe” memorial coins to put it on the list.

  • The prophet Nostradumbass

    HA HA HA HA: John Cole responds to [BONERS]

    • Jordan

      Ha. I was waiting for that post, and it did not disappoint.

      • The prophet Nostradumbass

        Some of his rants are works of art.

    • sharculese

      And this getting what you want, John – whipping up your notoriously nasty group of commenters who can day, under the blanket of pseudonymity, all the truly ugly stuff that you want then to say. That’s your MO, it’s how you operate around here. It’s how you get the barely disguised misogyny that people direct towards Megan McArdle, the barely disguised homophobia towards Glenn Greenwald, the ritualistic flogging of anyone who isn’t a good loyal Democrat. You get your pet min here to say the really gross, personal shit that you would like to, knowing that they are protected by internet anonymity. That’s a bullshit, cowardly, pathetic way to behave, John. I never figured you for a bully.

      lol, dude couldn’t even invent new deviationisms to accuse Balloon-Juice of.

      • So, wonderful.

        Whatever his psychological state, these comments objectively make him quite the sad troll.

        • Oh! And this is great too:

          Well, I don’t have an army of rabid, anonymous commenters, and I don’t have the protection of a job, and I don’t have the visibility of writing for a big publication. But I refuse to be bullied by people who are unable or unwilling to fight without chumming the water for a mob that can say what it wants without consequence.

          I think the problem is that he doesn’t have a gang himself!

          The weird thing for me is that it’s all fantasy: Pretty much all the OPs say stuff that is as harsh as what’s said in the comments. In the comments, the anonymous and non anonymous comments are pretty much alike in tone.

          Oh, and the nastiest comments come from Freddie.

          So the whole story is a compound, trivially refuted fantasy. Fun!

          • Among the many things I don’t understand about this guy is his claim that we won’t attack him because we are afraid and have mobs to do it for us. John Cole just told him to go fuck himself on his front page. I have repeatedly told him that he is an idiot. And there is no small proof that I am willing to say whatever I want about these things–even when it very much threatens my own job.

            But I guess I don’t have the martyr complex Freddie does.

            • snicker

              And there is no small proof that I am willing to say whatever I want about these things–even when it >very muchthreatens my own job

              .

              But I guess I don’t have the martyr complex Freddie does.

          • Eh. I started a comment there but just hit extremely bored with it. Here’s what I wrote:

            While I enjoy making fun of you as much as anyone, I’d like to point out that your account is simply, factually and interpretively, wrong.

            Let’s take one simple aspect: The tone and content of the OP posts are pretty identical in content and tone as the comments in all those posts and same for the anonymous and non-anonymous comments (cf any of mine on LGM for an example). Finally, your comments are clearly quite nasty in both tone and content, and the content is false.

            (As I’ve posted several times, the idea that the push back you’ve gotten in these threads is remotely close to a vile extreme just erases the experience of e.g., online women commenters who experience torrents of rape and death threats.)

            What wore me out: These things are so brutally obvious and easy to access that it doesn’t matter if he’s acting in good faith or bad faith. He is obviously inaccessible to reason or decency, so there’s no point.

            For some reason, I’m saddened by this.

            • Oh no, I posted on the thread.

              WHAT WAS I THINKING.

              I’m procrastinating hard here :(

              But I did a review!

            • pete

              Well, mildly amused, I did post on FdB’s thread (as you, BP, are aware since you broke down too), and he promptly proved, if further proof were needed, that a senzayuma is not one of his more developed traits. Twerp is the mot juste, I believe.

          • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha (objectively a standard deviationist)

            It reminds me of the old joke:

            A: The food here is terrible!
            B: I know – and such small portions too!

            Freddie basically wants to complain that the commentariat are objectively despicable – and they don’t show him enough love.

          • ChrisTS

            Jeez, he accused them of exactly the same things he accused us of.

      • IM

        Yes, John Cole is famous for pulling his punches and hiding behind faux polite language.

        Really.

        • IM

          And as pointed out at BJ, Cole is usually on Greenwald’s side on any fight over Greenwald.

          • Warren Terra

            I think it’s more accurate to say Cole usually just says that he’s bored with discussions about whether Greenwald is an asshole, or about just how colossal an asshole Greenwald is, and would rather people instead discuss the substance of Greenwald’s assertions (preferably stripped of all the Greenwald-specific issues with overlong writing, histrionic self-promotion, etcetera).

            • IM

              Yes, but in the BJ context that is already pro Greenwald. The more fanatic anti Greenwald faction rarely nowadays discusses issues but goes straightly to the “He supports Ron Paul!” argument.

  • It sounds like a Gilbert and Sullivan number

    According to Freddie de Boer
    Commenters on LGM are
    Objectively Despicable!

    Objectively!

    Despicable!

    Commenters on LGM are
    Objectively…Despicable!

  • herr doktor bimler

    I find myself more inclined to sing along Freddie’s prose to Bohemian Rhapsody.
    I’m just a grad student with a tiny blog-roll…

    • Warren Terra

      “i am the real left,
      Or so I do fantasize.
      liberals I decried,
      No hope of reality.”

    • HE’S JUST A GRAD STUDENT FROM POOR FAMILY!
      SPARE HIM HIS LIFE OF YOUR HUAC-TIVITY!

      • Rob in CT

        *applause*

      • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha (objectively a standard deviationist)

        Chorus from Freddie:

        “No, no, no
        I will not let it go!
        LGM
        Has a devil set aside for me!
        For me!”

      • herr doktor bimler

        Please continue.

        • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha (objectively a standard deviationist)

          “Too late, my time has come,
          Sends shivers down my spine,
          Boner’s aching all the time.
          Goodbye, everybody, I’ve got to go,
          Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth.”

      • bluefoot

        Gdammit, that was a perfectly good coffee I just spewed all over my monitor. I doff my hat.

      • DWD

        That’s fantastic

      • Barry Freed

        You got a shout out from John Cole

  • Rob in CT

    It’s obvious that this dude gets off on “oh, look at me, I’m so oppressed (by having my dumbass ideas challenged).”

    We are giving him what he wants. Granted he’s also providing a good deal of entertainment for us, so I guess we’re square?

  • agentX

    What’s with all the whiny Americans whining about websites? What’re ya, a buncha fucking babies? Mean people on the LGM site made you cry? You wanna bottle, asshole?

    This is LGM, muddafukkas. Not Nick-At-Nite, not TPM. You come here, you come ready to play and get dirty. If you can’t take the heat get out the damn kitchen or bring da ruckus.

    Wu-Tang Clan LGM ain’t nuthan ta fuck wit!

  • Pingback: draining the swamp | Fredrik deBoer()

    • Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean you’re not batshit crazy.

    • Malaclypse

      I am not a shrinking violet.

      Bullshit.

      So that’s how you get people saying virulently sexist stuff about Megan McArdle, attacking Glenn Greenwald for living in Brazil, attacking Greenwald’s husband, telling lie after lie about who I am and what I believe.

      Cites still missing.

      I was on Robert Stacy McCain’s dishonor roll for a long time, and I’m perfectly happy to be on LGM’s too. It’s all the same to me.

      This says more about you than you think.

      The cause that people like those at LGM and Balloon Juice have taken up, the cause of social justice and equality, is the single most important effort in the world. Because it’s so important, it is necessary and good for people to disagree with how best to wage it.

      Unless you disagree with Freddie. Then he’ll throw a three-day tantrum, declaring himself the most unfairly persecuted One True Liberal ever.

      • MAJeff

        declaring himself the most unfairly persecuted One True Liberal ever.

        He would never declare himself a “liberal.” He’s the One True Leftist.

        • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha (objectively a standard deviationist)

          The cause that people like those at LGM and Balloon Juice have taken up, the cause of social justice and equality, is the single most important effort in the world. Because it’s so important, it is necessary and good for people to disagree with how best to wage it.

          Shouldn’t these “people” be disagreeing about how best to wage it, rather than with how best to wage it?

          Sometimes I really do wonder, in my objectively despicable way, whether Fredo the Mispersecuted knows his prepositions from his boners.

      • ChrisTS

        Wait, I thought we were against social justice and equality?

        I mean, isn’t that how HUAC-style, red-baiting, objectively despicable people would roll?

  • I fully expect Freddie to become Donalde’s new co-blogger in 3…2…

  • Tom Servo

    I hope he grows out of it. But I’m not too optimistic. People like Freddie (i.e. lacking self-awareness) tend not to grow out of it. In my experience, you either have it or you don’t; it’s difficult to develop.

    I know some people who gained self-awareness in college or shortly after. But that’s it. Once you get to Freddie’s age (past 30) you’re pretty much set for life, in my experience.

    • ChrisTS

      I agree with the second statement; self-awareness can be developed in a young person. For someone in grad school, self-awareness is unlikely to be gained other than through something fairly awful happening in one’s life.

  • taylormattd

    Wby is it that the most sexist, privileged fucks are the biggest whiners on the planet?

    Freddie: Please don’t forget to climb down from the cross before you go to bed tonight.

  • Origami Isopod
    • Francis

      I am not aware of all internet traditions. Who dat?

      • Warren Terra

        I’m aware of someone of that name as a pretty good F/SF writer, married (used to be married?) to a better F/SF writer. I know nothing about his politics.

        • Origami Isopod

          Long story short: When online fannish circles started talking seriously about racism five and a half years ago, W.S.* shat repeatedly in the punchbowl. This is a fairly good summary of his behavior then. Since then he’s dug in his heels to an obsessive extent, created blogs lambasting “social justice warriors”** for caring about racism, sexism, etc. when in fact classism is the only problem they should care about, and become the kind of self-Googler who shows up in any and all discussions in which he’s mentioned.

          * Which is why I am using his initials only.
          ** There are definitely people who take social justice to the point of absurdity, but they do not play a large role in this situation.

  • Pingback: Army Of One » Balloon Juice()

    • sharculese

      Nice work Shake and DH S-P

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