Home / Robert Farley / I Get Mail…

I Get Mail…


I have no idea whether this is real, but it most certainly is awesome.  Posted by permission of author, who “would also love to discuss Benghazi” with me:

My Father, who was an Aide to Hap Arnold, when the Army Air Corps became the United States Air Force, and retired as a Brigidier [sic] General, is also turning in his grave. You know, if our United States Air Force is really unnecessary, why do they have such a marvelous and prestigious military academy up in Boulder, Colorado, that trains superb leaders and combat veterans?

Most importantly, who would provide all of that free transportation for the Purple Lipped Muslim  Bastard and his family and friends? Come on, Mr. Farley, get your “wronghead” out of your ass!

PLMB has almost destroyed NASA, our Army, Navy and Marine Corps, and now you idiots are taking aim at yet another agency of one of the few Departments (DOD) that makes any sense and has any record of success and productivity in this corrupt and self-serving government of ours!

Mr. Farley, I’m not even going to recognize your Asst. Professorship, nor your PhD, as, from the picture on your UKY website with Admiral “Candy-Ass” Mullen, former worst Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff this country has ever had, you seem to fall into the category of an academian, who has a propensity to hob-nob with more idiots and Obama sycophants, and shares their Progressive and anti-American beliefs.

Shame on you for trying to destroy the country that has given you all that you have!

Joseph K. Shook

Admiral, Texas Navy


With respect, I believe that the United States Air Force Academy is actually near Colorado Springs, Colorado.

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  • Boulder, of course, is where the good guys hang out in the documentary The Stand.

    • oldster

      Well-uh bless-uh my soul
      what’s a-wrong-uh with me
      I’m talkin like man from a party of Tea
      my friends say I’m acting
      wild as a crook
      I’m in love…
      I’m Admiral Shook!

      • XXOO

      • Julia Grey


      • ChrisTS

        How would you like to have your Internets delivered?

  • Philip

    I think this:

    one of the few Departments (DOD) that makes any sense and has any record of success and productivity in this corrupt and self-serving government of ours!

    is my favorite. Corruption has never happened in the military, of course.

    • Incontinentia Buttocks

      To say nothing of their perfect record of success over the last half century or so.

      • And their stellar efforts in promoting Evangelical Christianity at that fine institution in Colorado Springs, the one that nearly burned down during the Waldo Canyon fire of a couple of summers ago.

      • Ralph Wiggum

        And every military contract every written has been delivered on time and within budget.

        • DrS

          Well, maybe the Navy has some issues, but Air Force procurement is perfect.

  • Texas Navy? Some schmuck’s got a fishing boat on Lake Austin.

    • Roger, the Shrubber

      Hey, at least it’s not the Montana Navy.

      • Or the Morlock Air Force.

        • The C.H.U.D. Coast Guard would defeat them all.


          • Dread Hierarch Scrotum-Piranha

            Clearly a case of Shook and Oar.

            • Jewish Steel

              Excellent work.

            • ChrisTS


    • Lee Rudolph

      Per Wikipedia:

      In 1958 Governor Price Daniel reactivated the Texas Navy with headquarters in Houston. They held Annual Admiral Balls at the Houston Yacht Club and the Governor would review the fleet each year at the San Jacinto Monument. The fleet consisted of every conceivable type of vessel from luxury cruisers to canoes. Officers were selected on their merits and commissioned by the Governor as Admirals in the Texas Navy.

      The Texas Navy, Inc., dba the Texas Navy Association, was formed under the authority of the Texas Secretary of State in 1972. The Association was formed as a non-profit organization devoted to preserving the history of the Texas Navy. The headquarters moved from Houston to Galveston, Texas in 1973. Membership is open to anyone who holds a commission as an Admiral in the Texas Navy from a Governor of the State of Texas.

      • MAJeff

        So, rich fuckwits pretending to be heroic.

        • Bill Murray

          I thought that was what the Texas Air national Guard was for at that time (~1972)

          • Texas

            One line if by air, two lines if by sea.

        • herr doktor bimler

          Membership is open to anyone who holds a commission as an Admiral in the Texas Navy from a Governor of the State of Texas.

          So the State sanctions this tradition of rich fucks playing dress-ups and making fun of actual navies? I am SHOCKED.

          • ChrisTS

            Holy Shit.

          • Tybalt

            Ah, but I can tell you are not shocked, because Texas.

      • Mike G

        I am surprised that someone with such rational and articulately expressed political arguments would participate in an organization combining egregious pomposity, arrogant parochialism and detachment from reality.

        • MAJeff

          The Alamo isn’t a port?

          • Hogan

            And it doesn’t have a basement I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this.

          • Warren Terra

            I’m afraid only the imagination sets sail there. And patriotism, of course.

      • Some Guy

        So it’s about as elite and disciplined as the Order of Kentucky Colonels. Awesome.

        Sure glad he didn’t recognize Farley’s professorship, nor his PhD. That would be ridiculous pageantry.

      • Oh, its cosplay for wealthy people and signing yourself with it is like signing yourself Queen because you got chosen for your cotillion when you were 18, or King because you ran your New Orleans Krewe one year. You literally couldnt get any more pathetic if you were a toddler prancing around in superhero tights and spandex before bed and shouting abuse at your sister because you are Superman!

        • Dave C.

          I quite enjoy my six-year-old prancing around in a cape shouting things because he’s a superhero.

          If he does it in public when he’s sixty, I’ll worry.

          • I know, I loved the shouty, prancy, stage. However, I did hope they grew out of it before they threw themselves off the nearest bridge to fly, or thought that the suit was the same as the job.

            • ChrisTS

              My son had a period of.. how shall I put this: Dance of the 7 Veils. Naked. With transparent dress-up scarves.

              • If you hadn’t kept playing the flute music, he might have stopped.

          • efgoldman

            I quite enjoy my six-year-old prancing around in a cape shouting things because he’s a superhero….

            …because he’s the goddamned Batman.

      • fadograf

        Wish I had Admiral balls…

        • efgoldman

          Wish I had Admiral balls…

          Can’t you buy those from Waterford or another of those Limey companies?

          • Sargasso Sink

            …now who stole the strawberries?!

        • MAJeff

          Wish I had Admiral balls…

          With the appropriate campaign donation to the Texas Governor, you can!

    • The mouse that roared. Admiral Tully Bascomb is annoyed.

      • ChrisTS


      • Julia Grey

        The mouse that roared.


        (More like the cricket that mewed.)

    • merl

      He sounds like another America hating traitor to me.

  • MAJeff

    I believe the appropriate response to this is, “Cracker, please.”

  • DestructoBeam

    he doesn’t recognize you as a professor. not even a little bit.

    • jim, some guy in iowa

      & yet he expects, apparently, people to take *his* title seriously

      “rubber ducky, you’re the one…”

      • Woodrowfan

        A Texan “Admiral”? Cripes, that’s even lamer than Kentucky “Colonel.”

        • Auguste

          My dad’s a Kentucky Colonel, you bastard.

          He got a really nice bottle of Maker’s Mark for it.

          • smitty

            That’s some bullshit! I got KY Colonel for being an Eagle Scout and I didn’t get any bourbon!

        • dmsilev

          “Gentlemen, what can I say? It’s not often in a man’s life that he attains the exalted rank of ‘Temporary Honorary Colonel’. “

    • ThrottleJockey

      Inside scoop says his educational background is made up as well.

      Must admit never saw that one coming…not with him being an “Admiral” and all…

      • ThrottleJockey

        Correction: Inside Scoop says his educational background *may* be legit…but we all know how much acid they dropped in the ’60s…

        • Mike G

          Bush supposedly “legitimately” graduated Yale and Harvard Business School, that doesn’t mean he wasn’t as stupid as a brick.

  • sylvainsylvain

    Excellent trolling

  • Malaclypse

    He has a twitter feed, with a graphic that is not at all an endorsement of Texas committing treason a third time.

    • Texas

      We’re once


      Three times…for slavery!

      • One for the money
        Two for the show
        Three to get ready
        Now go rebs go
        But don’t step on my pointy boots
        You can do what you like
        As long as you keep off my boots

        • ChrisTS

          Have I mentioned, recently, that I love you?

          • Tyto

            Have I mentioned told/
            you recently lately/
            that I love you?


    • McAllen

      And desecrating the American flag, to boot!

      • Joseph K. Shook

        And where did I desecrate the American flag?

        I’ve seen only one person, who has left a comment here, even claim to have been a veteran, while almost all of the rest of you just demonstrate how ignorant you are.

        • Remember kids–every person should “claim” to be a veteran or else they can’t have anything to say to the fake fucking admiral.

        • merl

          I’m a US Navy veteran and I think you’re a treasonous clown.

        • Julia Grey

          Hey, Joe, I’m a veteran. OF THE AIR FORCE. Loomis may very well be right about all the close ground support parts of the Air Force mission, which probably should be undertaken by the services involved in the actual ground action, who OF COURSE should have direct command of their own forward air controllers.

          I’m still thinking we will continue to need a separate service to do strategic air and space operations, however.

          • Julia Grey

            FARLEY! I meant FARLEY!!!!!

            • DocAmazing

              Has anybody even asked Loomis?

        • joel hanes

          I’m an Army veteran who thinks your childishness doesn’t merit the attention it’s getting.

        • Cranky Observer

          The hard Radical Right claims to venerate the Constitution of 1789, the “Founding Fathers”, and “original intent”. Yet they simultaneously find it impossible to acknowledge that Franklin, Madison, et al had access to the constitution of Sparta and yet did not adopt the constitution of Sparta for the United States. One would think that be sufficient to end forever all discussion by the Radical Right of imposing the structure and values of Sparta on the USofA, but apparently not.


          • Tristan

            The far right doesn’t endorse Spartan values. Spartan women had political power.

    • Sly

      He loves America so much that he doesn’t want to be a part of it anymore, but something tells me it isn’t in a Ray Price “For the Good Times” sort of way.

    • Warren Terra

      I’m confused: why is a missile submarine veteran training helicopter pilots? My knowledge of military equipment is limited, but I’d have thought underwater and hovering in the air were mutually exclusive and used different skill sets.

      Also: as a veteran who served in missile subs, her presumably has earned some rank in the real navy, something to be honored for. So why is he such a proud comic-opera commodore?

      • Cheap Wino

        He’s an Admiral in the Texas Navy fightin’ wannabees. An Admiral! He always wanted to be an Admiral, to be sure. Plus, just ask him, he was always smarter and better than all the COs he was taking orders from in the real navy anyway.

      • Mike G

        He polished up the handle so carefully
        That now he is an Admiral in the Tex Navy

        • DocAmazing

          And so in matters aerial and Muslim purple-labial
          He is the very picture of a Texas Navy Admiral.

          • Gregor Sansa

            Though “‘wronghead'” he may occasionally say, he never is a big big T.

          • Dr. Corndog

            + eleventy kajillion for “Muslim purple-labial”.

          • Julia Grey

            And so in matters aerial and Muslim purple-labial
            He is the very picture of a Texas Navy Admiral.


            G&S snark will NEVER go out of style.

      • Joseph K. Shook

        Did you also serve? If so, you may have known other Shipmates, who, in their time ashore, like myself and other of my crew members, enjoyed flying not only radio-controlled airplanes and helicopters, but the actual private aircraft as well.

        • oldster

          Guys, guys: fun is fun, but I do *not* approve of stealing this real guy’s real name to make parody comments.

          You know, this Shook guy *is* a real human being somewhere, right? Maybe he is a racist buffoon, but you still should not steal his name. Posting under his name, just to say things that will embarrass him, is not at all cool.

          I mean, even this Shook guy, the pretend Admiral, would not be so silly as to compare military service to flying RC airplanes.

          So quit the spoofing, or at least don’t use his name. That’s just not right.

          • Warren Terra

            I for one am totally convinced that our military relegates the training of its helicopter pilots to amateurs and enthusiasts. Where else would our military find people able to fly helicopters?

            • ChrisTS

              Seriously. Farley can say the poster is the real guy, but I don’t believe it. Even Poe’s Law extends only so far.

          • Robert Farley

            According to an e-mail from Mr. Shook, he is indeed contributing to this thread.

            • oldster

              Oh, sure. Now you expect me to believe that you are “Robert Farley.”

              If you were the *real* Robert Farley, then you would sign yourself,

              “Robert Farley, Academian.”

              And don’t even bother with that “PhD” stuff, because real Americans just won’t even recognize it.

              In fact, real Americans would not recognize a doctoral degree if it hit them upside the head.

            • jim, some guy in iowa

              “contributing” implies value, does it not? ’cause the stuff I see under that name is kind of useless

              • Vance Maverick

                We certainly don’t hold one another to that standard, so it seems unfair to a guest.

                • ChrisTS

                  As my grandmother would have said, “WHEH.”

                • jim, some guy in iowa

                  I think I resemble that remark. Ah well – carry on, wayward sailors

      • And his name tag in the picture is for Keller-Williams, a real estate brokerage.

    • efgoldman

      From his Tweetness:

      Are you at all familiar with the FBI’s Domestic Investigations and Operations Guide (DIOG)/ It’s been altered a lot, too! GBA

      Yeah I bet it’s been altered! Because if he keeps this shit up, he’s going to get them on his case. Just sayin’.
      This assclown needs to go into the grift business with the other assclown, Nugent.

      • That twitter stream pretty much demonstrates where he gets all his information, and his utter, childlike, credulity. If I were a meaner person I’d have harvested twits like this to market gold buggery, anti vaxx, air filtration systems, prepper shit, MREs for doomsday scenarios, off shore tax havens, fake “permanent” airline tickets and resettlement plans for Costa Rica, and pretty much anything else you could offer a near senile right wing asshole to strip his bank account. But I’m pretty sure that Newsmax and the NRO advertisers already have that market covered. They are going to strip and roll this guy right down to his underwear and leave him and his lovely new bride shorn to the harsh winds of reality. Then he’ll come begging to the dems to save his social security and medicare while still cursing them.

  • Sue C

    From LinkedIn, in his Groups and Associations category: Cavalla Historical Foundation Admiral. Otherwise, he’s a computer tech, retired, from Boeing, who has reactivated his real estate license.

    • And Boeing has never, ever been at the Air Force funding trough.

      • Malaclypse

        To be fair, I doubt Boeing has ever made a dime off the Texas Navy.

        • But what about all those aluminum canoes? Oh never mind, Grumman made those.

      • Sure, especially when they had a tanker to sell. How many people went to jail for that one?

    • Vance Maverick

      I thought the best part of the LinkedIn profile was

      Maintain, repair and operate the Apache Longbow Crew Trainer for the 1-158th ARB (Aviation Reconnaisance Battalion) of the U.S. Army Reserve here in Conroe, TX. Huaah!

      So he works on aviation for the Army Reserve….and can’t figure out what not having an airforce might mean.

      • catclub

        Well, given the number of wacko libertarians who are government employees, it only makes sense that some employees of the Army would hate it and defend the Air Force.

        • calling all toasters

          …since the Air Force isn’t government. Because they like it.

      • catclub

        Also this on the twitter feed: “Boomer submarine veteran”

        Triple dipping?

        • Mike G

          He means he worked at a Subway shop in Cincinnati, and once made a Cold Cut Combo for Boomer Esiason.

      • Halloween Jack

        In other words, he reboots the (grossly overpriced) version of Microsoft Flight Simulator whenever it crashes, which is probably often. Got it.

  • oldster

    Just curious whether he thinks that the PLMB destroyed NASA, or the NSA.

    I mean, what has my president done to NASA, offhand?

    • Took away JSCs favorite toy to be

    • Warren Terra

      Don’t you remember the Republican ’12 primary debates in Florida? A bunch of old white guys have decided that the only part of our budget cuts that’s problematic is the end of the Shuttle program and the possibility that Obama might not be as dedicated to manned spaceflight (or, as I call it, the tinned monkey project) as his predecessors. Never mind all the other cuts to science and engineering, and never mind that the Opportunity rover is still publishing in Science ten years into its three-month mission …

      • BigHank53

        Track down a copy of the Columbia Accident Investigation Board report (available as .pdf) and read the history of the Shuttle program. The Air Force insisted on large wings for in-atmosphere maneuverability, flew two missions with it and walked away, leaving NASA with reduced payload capacity. The main engines were intended to live on a piloted, recoverable first stage, which they couldn’t afford to develop, so they got moved to the orbiter and they made up the difference with Morton-Thiokol’s solid rocket boosters.

    • Some Guy

      I assume he thinks the decommissioning of the Space Shuttle program, something that’s been on the docket for, oh, 20 years, is the PLMB’s doing. No doubt PLMB struck from the shadows to strike down the vibrant Space Shuttle Program, with nothing but decades of glorious future missions ahead of it.
      As PLMBs are want to do.

      • g

        Well, let’s be fair. Obama can time-travel, so maybe he did scuttle the space program twenty years ago.

  • Woodrowfan

    the Purple Lipped Muslim Bastard and his family and friends

    Nope, no racism there, no sir. Pathetic.

    • Barry Freed

      I had to do a double take on that one. WTF?

      • Woodrowfan

        It’s a contrast with white peoples’ “pink” lips. “Purple lips” is usually paired with n****r and a quick Google search seems to indicate that it’s a favorite of racist sites. The letter writer is truly a class act.

        • witless chum

          I knew I didn’t get it, but I also knew I was just as well that way.

        • Ann Outhouse

          At first I thought he was talking about Sidney Crosby, but then I remembered that Crosy’s not Muslim.

        • Joseph K. Shook

          You are the one who has made that comparison, not I!
          I have merely stated what I see in photographs, that the person in point does have very purple appearing lips. As to the other portions of the “label,” people of the Muslim faith consider anyone born to one or both parents who are Muslim to be a Muslim. It’s called “paternal descendency.” Something they cannot deny or casually walk away from without becoming what is a considered either an apostate or an infidel themselves. As for the “bastard” part, BHO was conceived out of wedlock, which is many peoples’ views classifies him as being an illegitimate child. QED

          • You are a really sad, pathetic, person. And, as I stated upthread, beyond gullible. You really need to get out more but no doubt you are too terrified to do so.

            • ChrisTS

              Let’s take a moment on this one: do we really want him getting out more?

          • sibusisodan

            Like aimai says, yer just daft.

            You took an oath to obey the lawful orders of the President, and you’re happy to disrespect that Office when you don’t like the office-holder?

            Grow up.

          • Warren Terra

            A few things for clarification:
            1) obsessing about someone else’s skin color is practically the definition of racist behavior, especially when that skin color is common among people of the same ethnic or cultural identity as the object of your obsession (as opposed to bizarre lifestyle choices, like the orange people who’ve overdone the permatan).
            2) I think you’ll find that descent through either parent is not in fact “paternal descendancy”.
            3) In a free society, people get to make many decisions about their own identities. Obama has never identified himself as a Muslim and never practiced Islam, so it’s silly to call him a Muslim because of some religious theories about his grandfather. Or, rather, it’s not silly; it’s an offensive bit of othering, and is normally considered a sign of racist intent. Why do you care that some people you’ve never met might consider another person you’ve never met to be a Muslim, or an apostate?
            4) The formal definition of “bastard” is in fact a child born out of wedlock, not conceived out of wedlock. One useful colloquial definition of “bastard” is “someone who takes an inappropriate and unseemly interest in someone else’s parentage”.

            • I have always considered the line of talk that the right wing spins about this–this weird fixation on the idea that islam is, in some sense, inheritable, to be so very, very, very, unchristian. The first thing normal, educated, people know about Christianity is that it thinks of itself as a converting religion–that it begins with the conversion of pagans and jews to itself. That this is its basic understanding of the relationship of the divine to the individual: that it is freely chosen, that it happens after birth (through voluntary baptism in the case of baptists, after birth with the god father standing in for the baby’s choice in the case of various forms of catholic). That it is definitely *not* passed from parent to child except in a cultural sense.

              Every first christian was a convert. Every.Single.One. The apostles set out to convert the world–that’s what the “good news” is, that’s what evangalization is.

              So this continued blathering and whining about what Islam thinks, or doesn’t think, about the ultimate status of President Obama, a man who was raised by his Christian Grandparents and who voluntarily joined the Christian Church, was married in the church, attends church, had his children baptized in the church, is just bizarre to me. Its the literal definition of unchristian.

              Even funnier, of course, Mr. “I don’t care for pointy headed intellectuals” is referring for authority on a matter of anthropological and theologicla fact to a subset of fake academics and “students” of the matter. Its like going to a faith healer to have your tooth pulled.

              Dear Mr. Shook: the world is full of people who have better credentials and more understanding that Glenn Beck does about religious practice, ideology, and identity. Really. You could find a lot of them in Universities. They often hold Ph.ds in their chosen subject. You should look for them. Then you wouldn’t run the risk of making an absolute fool of yourself in public.

              • Lee Rudolph

                I have always considered the line of talk that the right wing spins about this–this weird fixation on the idea that islam is, in some sense, inheritable, to be so very, very, very, unchristian.

                It seems to be some kind of hybrid of the One-Drop Rule with a deeply misunderstood notion of the doctrine of Original Sin.

                On the other hand, if he hangs about here much, I’m sure he’ll have his own road-to-Damascus moment, and begin contributing interesting anecdotes about opossums—perhaps opossums on a helicopter! Or football: I believe Texans are very devoted to football.

                • Not to mention that Jesus Christ was also, rather famously, a technical bastard of his biological father, born in someone else’s marriage.

                  These people never cease to amaze me, even though I’m quite familiar with this kind of hate speech since I read slactivist’s analysis of it quite frequently. They prefer a useful, ugly, lie about a political and cultural enemy to the truth because the truth makes them uncomfortable or doesn’t give them enough power over the debate. And their weakness, as they see it, excuses everything and anything. And they aren’t even ashamed of themselves. It falls to outsiders familiar with their theology to feel the shame. When I read this racist, anti-christian, bigoted, ignorant crap I feel the same sense of shame that anyone would when they see a fellow human being voluntarily degrade himself, like a meth addict who sells his own children. Because that is what is embedded in this stuff. Mr. Shook and his friends, for a little trivial political advantage with weak minded people, traduce everything, even their own supposed religious tradition.

                • Vance Maverick

                  I wonder if it draws some strength too from traditions of anti-Semitism. One of the few things insular WASPs like me know about Judaism is its matrilineality — giving us a way to consider it a heritable otherness.

                • I like your point, VM, and I’d also direct some thought to traditions associated with Kremlinology (and also biblical hermeneutics and biblical literalism*) This is also very closely associated with attempts to discern, from the outside, histories of “manchurian candidates” and “sleeper cells.” When you read a lot of this stuff, going all the way back to John Birch’s newsletter which I once spent an afternoon reading, anti-semitism and anti communism are inextricably linked, with extreme anxiety about deviant sexual behavior and secretive training sources, trained spies, sleeper cells, etc..etc..etc… This just throws onto the generic notion “muslim” all the hate and anxiety that they used to throw on commie spies and the jew.
                  *What I mean is that the argument is, basically, Obama can’t be one of us so everything is proof that he is this other thing, malevolent and hidden but not from the discerning eye.” Then every image of the President, and every statement gets read through that scrim, as a holy text of traitorism, with even the poor guy’s lips and ears marking him as Cain (as it were.) For fun I read a lot of this crap and the part that reads like crazy, paranoid, delusional, biblical literalism is really quite striking.

                • herr doktor bimler

                  opossums on a helicopter

                  I believe you mean “These motherfuckin’ opossums on this motherfuckin’ helicopter”.

          • Hogan

            I have merely stated what I see in photographs, that the person in point does have very purple appearing lips.

            He also has brown eyes, large ears and a flat nose. But your rigorously objective scrutiny of his appearance just happened to pick out the one feature that racists everywhere like to harp on. Funny old world, innit?

          • g

            Deluded, disgusting and demented. Not a good thing to go through life as, son.

          • Texas

            “Admiral” cracker, please.

          • Halloween Jack

            Careful with the “based on appearances” line of thought, ace; based on yours, I’d guess that your family tree doesn’t have any branches.

          • Tristan

            are you a boomer w/zip

  • trollhattan

    “PLMB”? Where have I been that I have not encountered this before? My Wingnut glossary is sadly out of date.

    Evidently the “Texas Navy” never subscribed to the whole “respect the office” meme so often repeated during the GWB administration.

    Oh, and Texas? Our Navy can totally kick your navy’s ass, should you care to test the theory.

    • Woodrowfan

      PLMB=Purple Lipped Muslim Bastard. Even more disgusting that the usual RW tripe.

  • charles pierce
    • Jewish Steel


  • Murc

    What always amuses me are all these people who think Farley thinks that we shouldn’t have, you know, a part of the military dedicated to making war in the air.

    I am reasonably sure that he in fact favors having a robust and effective air service of some sort, he just objects to it being a co-equal branch of the military, much the same way he’d object to, say, artillerists having their own branch.

    • DocAmazing

      He doesn’t want artillerists to be canonized?

      • the ghost of Festungsartillerieoffizier E. Schroedinger (Ret.)

        Yes and no.

      • Jesus you are quick , doc amazing.

    • Santa Claustrophobia

      Look, projecting dominance over others by lobbing giant grenades and other people is a critical mission.

      And the cabinet needs a dedicated secretary to lobby for the funds necessary to finally build a proper successor to the Paris Gun. Duh!

      And we most certainly need a dedicated branch of the military with the air power to drop our new superior field artillery like bombs on countries filled with little brown people.

      We’re through the looking glass, people!

      • elm

        I’m tempted to go with either a moistened bint lobbing a scimitar reference or a holy hand grenade reference. I think, on reflection, I shall go with neither.

        • Santa Claustrophobia

          I would have also accepted ‘So jump off that building. You’re the goddamned Batman.’

          • Turkle


    • Ken

      Artillerists with their own branch might not be a problem, provided they (1) didn’t automatically get 1/4 of the DoD budget simply because they were a “co-equal branch”, and (2) in combat, coordinated their field operations with the other services.

      I would say the same for any branch of the service, of course.

    • Warren Terra

      Whatever happens,
      We have got,
      An entire branch of the military dedicated to zooming about in the skies all shiny and hi-tech and screw the overall military effort,
      And we should not.

      • DocAmazing

        A Maxim to live by.

  • Barry Freed

    You know I half expected that missive to be sign off as “RICK VENEMA, COLONIAL HEIGHTS, VIRGINIA” but I don’t think he was nearly as bad as this racist asshole.

    • Barry Freed

      “to sign off” not “to be sign off” – when I’m proofing something IRL I always make the worst errors when I come here to comment.

      • Proofing is a limited good, to the dismay of some on the left.

        • Barry Freed

          You keep saying that, to the dismay of some on the left.

        • Gregor Sansa

          Yes, unfortunately I can never find it over 200.

      • This is L. H. Puttgrass

        Signing off and heading for the tub!

  • Daddy is turning in his grave but … PROJECTION TO THE RESCUE!

    It is corrupt purple-lipped unrecognizable Ph.Ds causing the upheaval in the cemetery. Daddy is perfectly happy with a son who couldn’t even get into Texas Air National Guard like that dipshit Bush. Now look at him, staggering around on some damn boat in some Goddamned Texas Yacht Club that they have the nerve to call a Navy. Shit. It’s enough to make a dead man cry.

    • Matt

      Something tells me “Daddy” would break his foot off in Mr. Shook’s ass if he saw him goose-stepping his way to teahadi rallies and promoting secession.

      • Good point.

        This could also be the Teapublican habit of re-writing history to suit their own purposes in action. If you believe in Fundamentalist Thomas Jefferson and Anti-union Martin Luther King Jr., why not pro-secessionist Brigadier Generals?

  • carolannie1949

    We Boulderites would love to know where in our left wingnut town the Air Force Academy might be hiding.

    So then a rational person would conclude that the writer is full of hooey. Even an idiot couldn’t confuse Colorado Springs, the haven of all right wing thinking in Colorado, where street lights no longer are paid for with taxes but instead will be lit only if each individual pays for the one right wingly in front of their house, with Boulder, lovingly called the People’s Republic of Boulder where we have voted twice to build our own taxpayer owned utility company to provide solar powered street lights for all.

    • Warren Terra

      We Boulderites would love to know where in our left wingnut town the Air Force Academy might be hiding.

      Look up, obviously! It’s the Air Force, not the Mole Brigade!

    • Barry

      “We Boulderites would love to know where in our left wingnut town the Air Force Academy might be hiding.”

      Stealth buildings.

  • NewHavenGuy

    Surprised this guy isn’t a Congressman in an ultra-safe Red district yet.

  • Anna in PDX

    Wow. I share a last name with this tool. Bummer!

    • Gregor Sansa

      Do you have a cousin named Atlas?

      • Anna in PDX

        Ha ha ha, I love this place…

  • somethingblue

    you seem to fall into the category of an academian

    Not even an academician. Suck on that, Farley.

    • UserGoogol

      I think “academian” might be an intentional dig at academia. The word academia-n parses into “one who is of academia” so it fits well with the idea that Academia is a foreign land full of un-American thinkers, instead of referring to the profession of academics. Or more straightforwardly, using a weirdly archaic phrase for it is just a sort of faux folksiness.

      And apparently the word is in some dictionaries, although not very many.

      • DocAmazing

        I thought it was a kind of nut…

      • It was huge in the judge dee mystery series set in ancient china. Next hell call him a winebibber and a poetaster.

      • Warren Terra

        I believe “academician” is a formal title in some foreign lands, denoting status and responsibilities – by which I mean Russia, and in particular Soviet Russia. Wikipedia agrees with my recollection, FWIW:

        The title Academician denotes a Full Member of an art, literary, or scientific academy. In many countries, it is an honorary title. However, in some other systems, like Academy of Sciences of USSR it gave very real privileges and administrative responsibilities for funding allocation and research priorities.

        • It was not just Russia. In fact the RSFSR was the only republic in the USSR that did not have its own republican Academy of Sciences. There was an all union academy and then one for each of the other 14 SSRs.

          • herr doktor bimler

            Sadly, no Academy of Architectural Excellence was involved in the design of the buildings.

            • ChrisTS

              Yuck. Was the poor architect under medication for severe depression?

      • Walt

        He’s the star of Academian: Omen II: The Final Conflict.

      • calling all toasters

        Just a slight misspelling of “Robert Farley, aka demon.”

      • Tristan

        or, you know, he’s illiterate.

    • Roger Ailes

      What are you, Farley, a comedian?

      • herr doktor bimler

        A comedician.

  • Crunchy Frog

    Well, except for the fact that Boulder is called “the People’s Republic of Boulder” and the Springs is called “the Fourth Reich” they are exactly the same. Well, except for the fact that housing is about 3x as expensive on a equivalent-house basis in Boulder.

    (I live within running distance of the AFA, FWIW.)

  • caesaigh

    Kee-rist, the Freepers gwine ta eat this up.

    some akademic done gone and dee-sided to take on our sainted Admirals*! Time to enact the 2014 Protect Our Own air Forces That Everyone Respects (POOFTER) law!

    fucking hill-billy yellow-bellied slack-jawed inbred no-account shit-tards.

    (do they know admiral is an arabic word? No?)

    • Gregor Sansa

      Via Spanish.

      • If Spain and Portugal would like to apply for readmission to Africa, we might be willing to consider it. The EU thing does not seem to be working out so well for them right now.

        • Gregor Sansa

          I think Portugal has already applied. Or at least, a lot of Portuguese.

          Spain… perhaps it could become another Phillippine?

  • MickeyBitsko

    “… that trains … combat veterans?” Talk about putting the cart before the horse. Cadets aren’t combat vets.

    This guy is a either a liar, an idiot, or a hoaxer, though my money’s on all three.

  • George Carlin

    Tell the admiral that Air Marshall Carlin says “Blow me!”

  • Thlayli

    PS: I am not a crank.

  • jkay

    When I read the Boomer Big Liar radically racist homophobic er, class, I knew all that could be true was the lowest parts – the racism, homophobia, plus being too yellow come close to serving, one of the five left whom love how Iraq went and still miss Shrub, the worst kind of stupid LOSER warmongery, the kill-your-troops without Shrub, aww…. You can tell from his insults, hatred of Mullen and having to make up what he claims.

    So ,he HAS to be a landlubber and have no connection with Arnold outsisde his drug supply imagination.
    So do you miss what Shrub did to how much you were worth in HIS fine market crisis? Not that I think he has the courage to answer,, anymore than he did serve in Iraq. .

  • If it’s not signed
    I’m not interested.

    • I know, right? Calling these unattractive people “purple lipped” would be a definite compliment.

    • Warren Terra

      I think we should avoid interfering in, or even inspecting, the personal life of this buffoon. His public persona and the opinions he proclaims are surely material enough; why should we embarrass ourselves, just because he does?

      • Good point. Consider my comments deleted. I would if I could.

        • Tristan

          Speaking as an unattractive person, I’m pretty offended.

    • Halloween Jack

      (You may wish to turn on your sound before proceeding further!)

      No thanks to both.

  • Mudge

    A spectacular missive, thanks for sharing. It may set a record for the most wrong (in all respects) in the smallest amount of space.

    On the issue of Air Force arrogance and stupidity, this article in Harper’s reinforces Farley’s position.

    • Mudge
      • The key phrase is “for the war we’re fighting today”.

        The A-10 is great for counter-insurgency, and I think we need to keep them, but we may not be fighting counter-insurgency the next time around.

        It’s classic “fight the last war” thinking.

  • Bob

    Why not have a fight to the death between the Texas Navy and the Confederate Air Force?

    • DocAmazing

      To their credit, they’ve changed their name to the Comemmorative Air Force.

      • Hogan

        Official motto: “It’s heritage, not flight.”

        • ChrisTS

          Oh, carbonated beverage in the nose.

        • herr doktor bimler

          “It’s heritage, not flight a strategic withdrawal to previously-prepared defensive positions.”

      • Bob

        To their credit? They only changed the name when corporate funding dried up. Not sure they deserve any credit for that.

  • Guys like this make me look forward to the day we turn Texas blue even more than I already do.

  • TapirBoy1

    PLMB sounds like a delectably racist variant of the PBJ.

    As an aside Robert, Andrew Cockburn had an interesting piece in Harper’s in favor of keeping the A-10 Warthog, on the grounds that it is a more precise way of avoiding civilian casualties than the B-2 bomber. The USAF is set to scrap it. Any thoughts?

    • The two aircraft perform totally different missions.

      Everybody loves the A-10, but it’s an aircraft designed for a specific purpose that it does very well.

      The A-10 is designed to operate close to friendly forces in a fairly low threat air environment. That’s why it’s called “close” air support.

      Trying to do interdiction (going into enemy territory) with A-10s would be suicidal. They’d be chewed to pieces by interceptors and what was left would be finished off by SAMs, probably before they ever got to the target.

      The A-10 is great at its intended mission but it’s not some wonder-weapon. In Desert Storm they did very well, right up until they ran into the Republican Guards who had better air defenses.

      • Mudge

        The Air Force faces a macho/automation issue. Rockets and drones can perform most if not all long range missions. The cost of pilot protection is massive and not economical, but pilots are macho,the Air Force is macho and it argues in the face of reality that piloted bombers are needed. On the other hand support of ground troops by air support is more important than ever but it, along with air transport (also a big issue that the Air Force has no interest in)requires coordination with, need I say, ground troops. Pilot safety in such situations is important, because the pilot is actually important to the mission. As such, the A-10 would be most efficiently under the control of the Army.

        Obviously any loose talk about a non-insurgency war concerns Iran, but would it be one? Certainly the Air Force will argue they are needed to bomb them into submission. They have a poor record of that unless the explosives are named big and little boy.

        • BigHank53

          The not-so-secret problem is that the path to generalship in the Air Force requires seat time in fighters. Not turning wrenches, not flying cargo aircraft, and certainly not piddling about blowing up tanks for those schmucks in the Army.

          They could solve the problem by giving the A-10 and all those boring transport airplanes to the Army, but that would leave them with fighters, bombers, and missile silos, and a lot more people would start asking why the hell we needed an Air Force.

          • Not only time in fighters, but specifically the Air Force is run by F-15C air-to-air guys.

            I think the problem could be resolved by changing who we promote to lead the Air Force. That’s a political problem that could be solved via Congress and SecAF.

            Getting rid of the Air Force is, in my opinion, a rather drastic solution akin to prescribing decapitation for a head-cold.

            Your solution also assumes that Army generals aren’t idiots. They just happen to be a different brand of idiot than the ones running the Air Force.

        • I beg to differ.

          Missiles still need to be launched from something and that something is generally a bomber. Bombers carry a lot of gas, can fly a long way, can loiter a long time and can carry a whole bunch of missiles.

          Bombers can also go after mobile targets. The B-2 was originally developed to take out mobile Soviet ICBMs. A missile can’t be re-targeted or recalled. Once launched it’s like a bullet fired from a gun.

          Yes, you could probably build a conventional ICBM that might do the job but launching ICBMs creates all sorts of problems with Russian and Chinese missile warning.

          In Desert Storm land-based and naval air decimated the Iraqi defenses prior to the Army getting into the fight.

          That’s why the Army and Marines took such relatively light losses.

          Close Air Support is an important mission but it’s not the only mission. Dedicated CAS aircraft can only operate in an environment of almost total air superiority. Those A-10s everybody loves won’t stick around long when the Fulcrums and Flankers show up to play.

      • TapirBoy1

        That seems right, and I readily concede I know zilch about the topic at hand, which is why I’d be interested to hear Farley’s take. The concern Cockburn expressed in the piece is that the B-2 and eventually the F-35 will be inappropriately used for the admittedly few things that the Warthog is great at, and that these aircraft will do/are doing a poor job in a way that will cause blowback.

        To this lay reader whose aviation experience extends as far as economy class commercial jet travel and Midwestern air shows as a child, it was pretty compelling stuff.

        • In a perfect world aircraft would all be specialized versus “Jack of all trades master of none”.

          Unfortunately modern aircraft are so expensive that we have to try to make them perform multiple jobs to get our money’s worth out of them.

    • AdamK

      Peanut butter, lettuce, mayo, bacon: my all-time favorite sandwich! (I never called it by its initials before, I just called it a peanut butter & bacon sandwich.)

      • DrS

        That’s a PBLMB. A PLMB is pastrami, lemon marmalade and Brie.

        It’s that last, the French cheese that really gets the wing nuts exercised.

        • efgoldman

          A PLMB is pastrami, lemon marmalade and Brie.

          Pastrami and brie? Find where the troll lives and burn his kitchen, then ban him from the intartoobz forever!

  • cpinva

    prof. Farley, you and your colleagues on this site do seem to attract a rather, um…….interesting type of correspondent. weird, and barely functionally illiterate, but interesting. I wonder if his co-workers, and the smarter members of his family, laugh at him behind his back, or directly to his face? hey, people want to know, dammit!

  • Joseph K. Shook

    In response to all of you who correctly noted my error in referring to Boulder, CO, as the home of the USAF Academy, Boulderites included, please accept my apology for collapsing into the “Wendy Davis” mode of “misspeak!” I noticed that quite many of you have trouble with your grammar, spelling and typing abilities, also, so allow me to suggest you hone those skills before wasting too much time attacking others, especially those similar to myself, who could really care less about what you have to say, and even less about how or why you even think!

    • Oh, you care, bully boy, you care. Why else are you stalking this thread? I might also add that the someone whose family is as unattractive as yours should really avoid commenting unfavorably on the appearance of the President of the United States, a man who is rather famously well known as being liked and admired for his looks, grace, and charm. We all get that traits associated with non white people are horrifying to you, personally, but you might grasp that they really aren’t to normal Americans–we voted that guy in twice, we live very happilly in a multi cultural world in which people have hair that is straight and curly, skin tones that range from very dark to very light, eyes of blue and of brown. Really–normal people don’t freak out and begin shrieking every time a black person appears on their tv. Normal people don’t wring their hands or begin weeping with fear when they see an political leader from a party-not-their-own appear on TV. Normal people can’t even figure out where you are coming from. I’m a happilly married white woman and I never really thought about any President’s lips. Really. Frankly, that little aside was beyond creepy. What a fixation to have. YOu might want to get some psychological help and counseling for it.

      • Ernest Pikeman

        I just want to applaud this comment and every other comment you’ve made in this thread. Even by your standards, nice work. A bit hotter than usual though, but it’s appropriate for the subject.

      • Julia Grey

        Well, I have to admit that I once or twice, in my secret heart, thought about how thin Bush’s lips were. But I kept my distaste to myself.

        Hey, what can I say? I’m a self-hating white woman.

    • Russiannavyblog

      You are adorable – Purple Lipped Muslim Bastard coinage and all! Never change, you fake admiral rascal you!

    • Russiannavyblog
    • I don’t buy it, not enough venom.

    • calling all toasters

      I’m so glad you apologized for the one statement in your post that wasn’t vile or insane, but merely incorrect. Now have a Thorazine and get to work on the rest.

    • sharculese

      How do you get to be so old and remain such a whiny fucking toddler? The world is not out to get you, no matter how much you need to blame your problems on other people.

    • trollhattan

      Will chime in only to note the Wendy Davis shot is a tell: they’re scared of Wendy Davis.

      • Yup. They are terrified that Texas, like the rest of the country, is going to go blue. And it is going to go blue. Because the entire country, and texas for the main, isn’t going to keep voting out of racist spite.

        • Vance Maverick

          The focus on purple, then, is misdirection.

          • DocAmazing

            For all that we want the president to share and advance our cause, I do not want his lips to turn blue.

    • Surreal American

      …so allow me to suggest you hone those skills before wasting too much time attacking others, especially those similar to myself…

      You mean other fake-ass admirals?

      • Russiannavyblog

        Other Pink-lipped Christian Assholes.

        • I think he’s white lipped, actually.

          • But there’s still lots of Blood in the Face.

            Even though we’ll never be able to prove it, I think President Obama deserves credit for peeling a few years off the lives of these ambulatory pustules. Can you imagine being so angry, non-stop?

            Note to self: Monitor CDC data for increase in deaths by heart attack and stroke among older white males.

            • He only gets credit if he delivers the entire SotU in Airplane-style jive.

              • I think it KILLS them when he does the professor routine. They are still longing for the whitey tape.

    • Well sir, your grammar and spelling aren’t all that great either, (Brigidier anyone) or perhaps (quite many). And as to not caring what folks on this thread think the question arises as to why you would even bother to look, let alone participate in the thread.
      If you had a command knowledge of the Air Force it’s unlikely that you would make the Boulder-Colorado Springs mix up.
      I have to disagree with @aimai on whether your family is attractive or not, it really doesn’t matter although I have to wonder at the level of narcissism and sheer ego that went into putting up that wedding website.
      Dr. Farley’s book raises some genuine and useful policy questions while your e-mail is little more than flatulence that doesn’t belong in anything remotely resembling a thoughtful conversation.
      As to your earlier post defending your insidiously racist language, there really can be no defense for that kind of crap and trying to do so makes you a rapist of the language.
      Finally, why in God’s or Gamara’s name would you use a fake honorific in this sort of setting? Did you think it added to your credibility? Did you actually think your ignorant hate filled diatribe had any credibility?

      an actual Air Force veteran

      • Russiannavyblog

        The “Admiral” gave himself the title to console himself after he couldn’t get the minimum ASVAB score to get into the real Navy.

        • Swabby just not gettin’ him enough “Hel-lo, Sailor?”

      • J

        Very well said indeed!

    • ChrisTS


      • N__B

        After a promotion he’ll be brigidiest!

  • Matt T. in New Orleans

    I missed this cat’s real name on the first read through because of the odd coloring and smart phone and, if I was honest, the lingering effects of today’s wake-and-bake. Thought “Texas Navy” was some sort of internet handle that only made sense to wingnuts. Like the Benghazi “scandal”, oddly enough.

  • sibusisodan

    Leaving the non-germane silliness aside for a moment – is there anyone complaining about Dr Farley’s book who is actually responding to the argument made? I mean, abolishing the air force is hilariously not the same as abolishing military flight capabilities, is it?

    • No. Even the guy who interviewed Farley on NPR basically had as the centerpiece of his argument-by-question mark??????

      But, we all feel better about ourselves when we can project our might through glamorous, long, gleaming, throbbing…wait, where was I again? Anyway, will we still have those people doing daredevil stunts and crashing into the viewing stands anymore if we don’t have an air force?”

      • DrS

        Cause the blue angels would suddenly disappear, of course.

        • Thlayli

          The Blue Angels aren’t even in the USAF. They’re part of the Navy.

          • DrS


  • Roger Ailes

    Texas Navy.

    The 1964 Cotton Bowl Classic.

    Roger Stabauch got his ass kicked, if memory serves.

  • e.a.f.

    Hope the man feels better now that he has “spewed” all of his “feelings” on to “paper”. They really might want to give some thought to teaching “critical thinking” in Texas and be thankful this guy isn’t in charge of too much.

    whatever happened to love your fellow man, or person. very angry guy. time to take a yoga class or something.

    In Canada we did away with all the various branches of the military and just have an Armed Forces. It saved a lot of money and its easier to ensure everybody knows whats going on.

    If the U.S.A. spent as much money on the country’s infrastructure, as they do on the military, the country might be a decent shape. it would even provide jobs, which don’t include having to learn how to kill people. Its not like the U.S.A. has to fight any wars. China already owns the U.S.A. so if there is a problem, let them take care of their investment. They do hold the majority of the American debts.

    • They do hold the majority of the American debts.


      For your punishment, go get some data.

      • I had this same revelation a few weeks ago. Not that China “owned” the U.S. because of debt; I knew most of the debt of the U.S. was homegrown, more or less. However, it was sort of shocking to see that so little of it, relatively, is owed to China, something like six or seven percent. Japan is something like seven or eight percent. That stopped me for a moment.

  • RickDFL

    This may have already been pointed out but his father could not be “an Aide to Hap Arnold, when the Army Air Corps became the United States Air Force” because that never happened. In 1941, under Arnold, the Army Air Corps became the Army Air Frorce, with greater autonomy, but still subordinate to the Army. Arnold retired in 1946 before the creation on an independent United States Air Force. It was Spaatz who commanded the Army Air Force when it became the independent US Air Force.

    • Warren Terra

      This. Is. Hilarious.

  • Kamron

    I find this letter surprising and most heartening; I understood that there was a fierce inter-service rivalry between the Imaginary Armed Forces and the Actual Armed Forces. I suppose I thought that the esteemed leaders of those Imaginary Forces might take this rivalry so seriously as to eclipse their Imaginary Mission To Protect Real America and thus their support for the Actual Armed Forces.
    But the esteemed Imaginary Admiral has overcome these divisions, and taken to the ramparts in defense of his Actual brothers-in-arms. I can only hope that representatives of the Actual Armed Forces will reciprocate in the future, and not continue to refer to the Texas Navy as “a bunch of silly old farts playing dress-up” and worse.

    Also, I would like to note that I *desperately* hope that the Texas Navy has a dress uniform.

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