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A post about that thing

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I wonder if on average gay men are more into The Royals ™ than straight men? I realize the Royals, and even more so being obsessed with the Royals, is perhaps the essence of camp, but maybe it’s all just a cliche:

This, my friends, is a royal scandal for the ages, and is exactly why it seems that people who typically fall outside the core demographic for crown-related drama—namely, straight men—have, for the first time in their lives, found themselves absolutely swept up in the chaos at Kensington. When I—a certified straight man—posted about the phenomenon shortly after the news broke, my mentions quickly filled with hundreds of quote tweets, mostly from women sharing their tales of how the men in their lives have too found themselves stricken with Middleton fever. “Two weeks ago my partner thought I was nuts. He’s now totally invested,” wrote one. “My husband knew the goss before I told him! This is from the man who asked, ‘What have we seen her in before?’ when we started Suits this summer,” another added.

These husbands, boyfriends, and fiancés were previously unmoved by the endless drip of Markle-related content. They had half-watched the Oprah interview with bemused indifference. They would not have been caught dead reading Spare or tuning in to the Diamond Jubilee, and there’s a good chance they tapped out of The Crown halfway through Season 1. But one of the most powerful institutions in the world passing along a botched Photoshop job to dampen a growing mystery? At last, we’re all in, talking about the Princess of Wales in the boys’ chat.

“It was especially fun because I actually got to break a royals scandal to her, which is the first time that has ever happened,” said Andrew Evans, a 37-year-old resident of the Commonwealth (read: Toronto, Ontario.) “If anything, I think she was confused that I knew about the photo before her. There were so many theories to lean into: Is she really sick? Is she refusing to be photographed? Is she not even supposed to be around in the area? It definitely has given us something to talk about, like finding a TV show you’re both into.”

As someone who can name the exact score of every Michigan-Ohio State football game from the 1970s without looking it up, I realize I’m in no position to mock anybody’s obsessive interest in inherently trivial topics. (I could write a book).

Nevertheless, there’s something about Royal Watching, especially by the citizens of a nation that threw off the yoke of British tyranny, that seems . . . oh I don’t know, what is le mot juste here? I mean the whole Royal schtick just screams “let’s make up a real life soap opera featuring incredibly useless people with no talent who aren’t even pretty to look at for the most part because we need some fake news to fill the voracious media void.”

Anyway, what is going on with Kate Middleton?

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