Picking up on Erik’s point, I’d like to offer a touch more detail on what we can offer to donors who wish to hold on to their LGM experience after joining eternity…
Tier 1 (Remembrance): Be part of LGM forever, as your portrait is transformed into a 10 pixel by 10 pixel image and incorporated into the LGM header. Whenever anyone clicks on the LGM header in order to get back to the main page, they’ll be clicking on you!
Tier 2 (Eternal Life): In this tier, we will ask our technical people to create an AI bot that will continue to post in the comment section under your name and in your style. In a sense you will live forever, or at least as long as the LGM comment sections lives, which will be a longer period of time if you bequeath a substantial component of your fortune!
Tier 3 (Titans of Our Age): This tier enjoys all of the benefits of the first two tiers, but includes the most prestigious honor that we are capable of bestowing. After you pass to your eternal reward, Erik will find your final resting place and will commit an entry in your honor to the “Erik Visits an American Grave” series. How disappointed will Erik be in your life and legacy? Make sure that your friends and family find out!
All of these assume a sufficiently robust estate, which given how many of you talk about cocaine and boats and fast cars and private jets in the comments is, I think, reasonable. Remember; the money either goes to LGM or to Connor and Maddie, who despite (or because) of your best efforts to get them into the highest rated suburban schools will probably end up ungrateful revolutionaries, repulsive reactionaries, or both. Keep Connor and Maddie poor and hungry!