The Vaccines are safe and effective

However, every medicine comes with a risk of side effects. In April I got the J&J vaccine. I recently received a booster of Pfizer. In the interest of truth, I’d like to discuss some of the side effects I’ve experienced.

• Restless Buttocks Syndrome
• Pundit Brain
• Shakira Hips
• Telling everyone that “Midnight Mass” is more sad than scary
• Glen Youngkin fleece chest

And the last and most dangerous side effect I’ve been dealing with is

• Pet Blindness

This is exactly what it sounds like. I can’t see pets. No pets. Not in person, not online. Not even if you’re on twitter and you say you’re sad and could everyone please post some pet pics to cheer you up?

You can tell me you have a capybara as a pet and I must believe you, because how can I argue? This is especially tragic, because one of you MAY have a capybara as a pet, and I’d really like to see it.