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The Cold-Blooded Assassination of Little Marco Rubio


Rebecca Saltzman has a response to Marco Rubio’s assertion that 6 mostly obscure Dr. Seuss books means that “when history looks back at this time it will be held up as an example of a depraved sociopolitical purge driven by hysteria and lunacy” that can fairly be called “comic gold”:

As a proud capitalist, I fully believe in letting the free market determine things, such as what style boots are in fashion, how many thousands of dollars a closet should rent for in Bushwick, and who deserves to die of cancer. I feel strongly that the Invisible Hand will guide us to a fair, just world, and that no one should interfere with its Magical Invisible Handiness, not even when the Hand gets weird and gropey. But I draw the line at the free market deciding to pull six racist Dr. Seuss books off the shelves. I only support capitalism when it supports my values, and my only real value is racism.

Some people would argue that the Seuss Enterprise canceling these books is the free market at work. The market doesn’t like racism anymore, so the Seuss family has decided it’s no longer worth publishing these six books. “Racism is bad for the Seuss brand,” they say. But if capitalism can’t protect racism at all costs, then I’m simply not interested. I’ll go full-on socialist if it means protecting what really matters — that my six-year-old can still find illustrations mocking Chinese people in their local Barnes & Noble.


Have I even read these books that are being canceled by these woke, identity-obsessed, social justice Ilhan Omar disciples? Had I even ever heard of McElligot’s Pool or The Cat’s Quizzer before today? That’s not really the point here. If I’d known earlier that they were so racist, then obviously I would have read them.

Let us dispel with the fiction that people who whine about “cancel culture” are worth taking seriously.

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