Red Book
By
Do you love our big, sweaty turd of a president but enjoy pretending to feel unsafe at normal eating establishments? Congratulations–there’s an app for that.
Trump supporters have even come up with a term for this phenomenon that has them feeling under siege: “MAGAphobia.”
Now, in a move reminiscent of the “Green Book” guide that listed safe establishments for African-American motorists in the South, hyper-vigilant Trump supporters are trying to build their own guide to MAGA-friendly businesses.
Finally the world is made safe for white, Christian, nouveau riche hat models.
“I’m trying to position it as an everyday ‘where can I go eat safely’ app,” Scott Wallace, the app’s founder, told The Daily Beast.
63red Safe works like a conservative Yelp. Instead of reviewing the lighting and ambience, though, the site’s users rate restaurants and other businesses on a series of four questions, including whether the restaurant’s owners make political social media posts and whether they allow customers to carry weapons.
Oh, this is fun! Does being able to carry a weapon make a restaurant MAGA-friendly or MAGA-foe-ly? Who knows?! It’s all a delightful mystery!
Wallace, who compares the app to a political “fire inspector,” is confident that the app will grow more popular as 2020 approaches. That’s when, he claims, more Trump supporters will be targeted by what he calls “socialist goon squads,” and businesses will become more interested in protecting their customers over their politics.
“I believe that, between now and 2020, we’re going to see the rise of the socialist goon squad,” Wallace said. “I think antifa was nothing compared between now and what’s coming in 2020. And I’m deeply concerned.”
This is all pretty strange to me. I’ve lived in many deep-red places in the country yet never felt scared while dining out, perhaps because when I did I wasn’t wearing an ugly blue trucker hat that says “Honk if you’re horny for abortion.”
I can’t be sure, of course, but my guess is that these app-users are hysterical because they’re wearing their politics on both their sleeves and their heads, and sometimes people notice. Tough shit, Redhats.