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The Love Song of M. Dean Cohen


I believe keta’s contribution to American letters merits a post of its own:

It started with Yates, she “betrayed” her position,
She raised flags about Flynn but Trump wouldn’t listen.
Speaking of Flynn, he was gone in three weeks,
A “very good person,” always lies when he speaks.
Next was James Comey, an apparent “nut job,”
Tickled the “Russia thing,” made it swell up and throb.
And bossy Sean Spicer, the poor guy said enough!
Afraid of the Mooch, he wasn’t so tough.
Then Priebus unhanded as the Chief of Staff,
His busy two hands pried off the Trump shaft .
Scaramucci, Bog love him, lasted all of ten days,
Drug-dialing a journo just never pays.
Then ruddy-faced Bannon was given the boot,
Couldn’t even hang on to the Breitbartian loot.
Next Gorka was ousted, he of large swollen head,
Now a feature on Fox, a fucking witless retread.
And then entitled Tom Price flew away on the breeze,
In charge of health, he was the doctor of sleaze.
And goodbye Omarosa! as she’s shown the door,
Back to pop culture like a herpetic sore.
Wife-beater Porter was then brought to light,
If canned by a woman he would have put up a fight.
Then lovely Hope Hicks cut her White House stay short,
Don’t cry for her folks, she’ll see her old friends in court.
Next some Trump tariffs proved too much for Cohn,
He’d put in his year to take his tax-free gains home.
Then Trump dropped the axe on his Secretary of State,
It seems that ol’ Rex talked a little too straight.
Clock-setter McEntee was then hustled out,
Presented the trough, he turned into all snout.
Then hours before he could calmly retire,
McCabe was a victim of the TrumpDumpster fire.
And McMaster, the general, was pulled out of battle,
Replaced by a moustache given sabres to rattle.
Gone too is Shulkin from Veterans Affairs,
As Captain Trumptanic rearranges the chairs.
And now his replacement Doctor Candyman,
Is dead on arrival, done before he began.


Trump’s draining the swamp! He’s removing the gators!
The grifters and crazies, the autofellators.
He knows what he’s doing, hires only the best,
So don’t be despondent! Don’t be depressed!
The Trumpster is on it! The best president ever!
Ask him, he’ll tell you, this is all him being clever.


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