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BREAKING: Evidence in Memo Outlining Insane Conspiracy Theory Less Than Compelling

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EL OH EL:

Inside the Trump administration, sources who’ve been briefed on the Nunes memo expect it will be underwhelming and not the “slam dunk” document it’s been hyped up to be.

What we’re hearing: There is much more skepticism inside the administration than has been previously reported about the value of releasing the memo, according to sources familiar with the administration discussions.

Be smart: Trump still wants to release the memo. But there are a number of people in the White House who are fairly underwhelmed, and there’s internal anxiety about whether it’s worth angering the FBI director and intelligence community by releasing this information.

They figured this out too late, but obviously it was better to have a SECRET MEMO that one could pretend plainly had ironclad evidence of pervasive anti-Trump bias in the FBI rather than actually releasing the thing and revealing it to be moronic ramblings of rank buffoons.

Besides, one of our commenters has composed a brief drama that explains what really happened:

Time: Summer, 2016, getting towards fall. Midafternoon.

Scene: a quiet cocktail bar just blocks away from FBI headquarters. In the booth at the back sits ROBERT MUELLER, looking very square-chinned and full of integrity. He is drinking something non-alcoholic, with an air of patriotism.

In walks JAMES COMEY. He is trying to look inconspicuous, which is difficult as he is approximately seven foot three inches tall and had miscalculated as to how well his suit will match the drinking establishment’s draperies. He’s been spotted! He smiles and strides forth to MUELLER’s booth, hand outstretched.

COMEY: Bobbers! How’s the private sector treating you?

MUELLER: Frankly, it’s tedious, Jimbo. I miss the excitement. Even just a grand jury to call my own. How are you liking my old job?

COMEY: It’s good, but it’s a little constraining. So many rules and expectations. Sometimes I wish someone would fire me, preferably in a way that really muddles the issues and distracts from any wild improprieties I might first engage in to amuse myself.

MUELLER: Funny you should say that. I’ve got a hankering to be a Special Counsel, and I’ve got a bit of a plan. But, first, have you met Agent Strzok?

All the pieces of the puzzle are now in place!

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