The Mind-Bending Powers of Billy Bush
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Today in the American meritocracy, Billy Bush will have to make do with something in the order of a $10 million severance before finding his next sinecure. And why not — he’s capable of telepathically making Donald Trump talk about how much he enjoys sexually assaulting women:
Since then we haven’t heard much from Melania, but on Monday night she’s set to appear on CNN with Anderson Cooper to offer a full response to the recent string of sexual-assault allegations against her husband. And according to a clip, she’ll spend much of that interview making excuses for him.
“As you can see from the tape, the cameras were not on — it was only a mic,” she tells Cooper in one clip. “And I wonder if they even knew that the mic was on because they were kind of boy talk[ing], and he was led on, like egg[ed] on, from the host to say dirty and bad stuff.”
Donald Trump was never a sexist vulgarian until he had a softball interview with a random Bush scion. That seems plausible!
CHRISTIE: Also, what about all the accusers? We're supposed to believe Billy Bush–
TRUMP: Bullied me into groping women for 40 years! Yes!— Owen Ellickson (@onlxn) October 17, 2016
TRUMP: I'm eating a crispy steak, minding my business when BAM! Bill Bush's on me. "Paw a girl!"
CHRISTIE:
TRUMP: For DECADES, this went on!— Owen Ellickson (@onlxn) October 17, 2016