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The ranking of the merde-wiches


There’s a great deal of discussion about who would make the worst Republican nominee and/or president. For my own amusement here’s how I rate the GOP’s current top three.

Least worst – Donald Trump, shouty ambulatory wig stand for president!

Pros – None, but watching Dr. V. Frankenstein alternate between flailing at his advancing monster and blaming Democrats for its creation provides hours of amusement.

Cons – If he’s elected every other nation in the world will decide the U.S. is too damn ridiculous for words, join forces and invade.

Middle worst – Marco Rubio, hologram of an empty suit, for president!

Pros – None, especially now that he’s trying to be funny.

Cons – Will answer the question “What would happen if a bigger schmuck than G. W. Bush got into the White House?”

Worst of the worst – Ted Cruz, dominionist death eater from the Lone Star state, for president!

Pros – Negative a bazillion.

Cons – Everything. There’s a joke going round that Cruz is the Zodiac Killer. That’s a compliment. I look at him and see a man whose hobbies include Handmaid’s Tale LARP with kidnapped hitchhikers, hanging around death row on execution eve with his hands thrust deep in his front pockets and listening to Nickleback. Mankind’s best hope would be a world killing asteroid.

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