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Ammosexuals

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I’ve written before about how owning guns has (for many people) become nothing more than a cultural signifier. I feel more confident than ever in asserting that the ammosexuals own guns for one reason and one reason only: to troll liberals. This is why they’re having their little fetish parades at places like Chipotle and Target.

“I didn’t mean to shoot that toddler in the face, I just wanted to assert my rights before I lost them.”–Ammosexual

It’s not enough for them to own guns now; they want everyone who is not an open-carry fetishist to humbly and happily acknowledge their gross gun-kink. I’d laugh if their fetish weren’t so potentially dangerous. I think the combination of deadly weapon + low intelligence + severe impulse control problems will inevitably = disaster. It’s only a matter of time before one of these guns accidentally discharges; it’s only a matter of time before someone taunts these fetishists and, because the ammosexuals are stupid and humorless and lack impulse control, one of them “fights back” with deadly force. These people need to become pariahs. Yesterday.

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