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Bullying, friendship, inequality

By djw

On February 16, 2014

At 1:34 pm

In General

822 Views

I took a look at the Wells report this morning; it’s grim reading. A couple of observations.

First, this:

Moreover, shortly after Martin left the team, Incognito made a number of telling entries in a notebook used to keep track of “fines” the offensive linemen imposed on each other in their “kangaroo court” (typically for trivial infractions such as arriving late to meetings). Incognito recorded a $200 fine against himself for “breaking Jmart,” awarded another lineman who had been verbally taunted a $250 bonus for “not cracking first,” and wrote down a number of penalties against Martin for acting like a “pussy.” The evidence shows, and Incognito did not dispute, that “breaking Jmart” meant causing Martin to have an emotional reaction in response to taunting. Approximately one week after Martin leftthe team, on November 3, 2013, Incognito wrote nearly identical text messages to Pouncey and another lineman. “They’re going to suspend me Please destroy the fine book first thing in the morning.”

Makes quick work of one strategy of muddying the waters and casting doubt on Martin’s narratives by noting a friendship and “back and forth” between Martin and Incognito, thus suggesting that what appeared at first glance to be abusive bullying was merely harmless banter between friends. If, indeed, Incognito understood their relationship as friendship in anything approaching the way normal human beings do, this reaction is pretty implausible. If friends are just joking around, and don’t intend it to go too far, they’d show some remorse or concern when they (presumably accidently) did, evidently, go too far. In general, the notion that a friendship-like relationship is somehow inconsistent with bullying and emotional abuse demonstrates a lack of understanding of the ways in which bullying works. Emily Bazelon:

Even as he struggled with these emotions, Martin built a friendship with Incognito. That’s the right word, and the investigators capture how that can be in all its complexity. Both Martin and Incognito called their relationship “bipolar.” One on one, they shared real warmth and even trust. Martin told Incognito about his mental-health struggles; Incognito counseled him to stay away from drugs so he could be a better player. In front of other players, though, the intimacy was grist for Incognito’s mill of cruelty. And because they were friends—the kind who went to strip clubs together—Incognito knew Martin well enough to suss out his weak points. The investigators write that Martin’s efforts to socialize with Incognito are “consistent with the reaction of a person who is trapped in an abusive situation.” This explains how, after Martin left the team and Incognito texted him to ask how he was feeling, Martin wrote, “It’s insane bro but just know I don’t blame you guys at all.” He blamed himself and he was still, emotionally, under Incognito’s thumb, seeing what the bully wanted him to see.

Bazelon is worth reading in full, but her point here is particularly important. Friendship can provide, and did appear to provide for Incognito, access to ways to enhance the cruelty of bullying. It gives the bully better access to information about weaknesses and which tactics work best, and enhances the power of the bully over the mental and emotional state of his victim. Bullying is about exploiting vulnerability; some vulnerabilities are obvious, but others require gathering more information about the victim. Incognito, at this point a skilled and practiced bully, clearly understood this.

The report also contains an important reminder that it’s very unlikely you can have a culture of abuse toward those who occupy one specific lower status identity (ie, rookies or younger players, who presumably have a fair amount of wealth and privilege), but not others of lower status:

We found that the Assistant Trainer, who was born in Japan, was the target of frequent and persistent harassment, including insults relating to his race and national origin. Incognito, Jerry and Pouncey admitted that they directed racially derogatory words toward him, including “Jap” and “Chinaman.”At times, according to Martin, they referred to the Assistant Trainer as a “dirty communist” or a “North Korean,” made demands such as “give me some water you fucking chink,” spoke to him in a phony, mocking Asian accent, including asking for “rubby rubby sucky sucky,” and called his mother a “rub and tug masseuse.” Martin and others informed us that Incognito and Jerry taunted the Assistant Trainer with jokes about having sex with his girlfriend. Incognito admitted that these types of comments were made to the Assistant Trainer. On December 7, 2012, the anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, Incognito, Jerry and Pouncey donned traditional Japanese headbands that featured a rising sun emblem (which the Assistant Trainer had given them) and jokingly threatened to harm the Assistant Trainer physically in retaliation for the Pearl Harbor attack. According to Martin, the Assistant Trainer confided in him that he was upset about the Pearl Harbor comments, finding them derogatory toward his heritage.

…hours after Martin left the team on October 28, the Assistant Trainer sent him a text message indicating that he had indeed been personally offended by the insults directed at him by Incognito, Jerry and Pouncey: “Hey JM I understand how [y]ou feel man…They are relentless sometime…. Some day I wanna do exactly what you did today.”

The trainer was, understandably, reluctant to cooperate with the investigation because his job relies on remaining in the good graces of abusive and cruel racists.