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You may remember that forgotten-but-not-gone GOP hack Rick Lazio attempted to resurrect his long-dead political career by fomenting hatred about the Burlington Coat Factory community center. Amusingly, this was not enough to beat angry rich white guy/racist email forwarder Carl Paladino. Let this be a lesson: when you try to out-tea bag a teabagger, you end up covered in orange pekoe.

In other pleasing news, accused thief Pedro Espada and convicted domestic abuser Hiram Monserrate, two of the most disgusting political figures in the known universe, lost their primary races. You know what — go ahead and let the door hit you on the way out!

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