So writes everyone’s favorite conservative blogger, seemingly confused as to whether he’s a teenager now or in 1955. Not that he’s “teenybopper blogging,” but when you think that Selena Gomez, whoever that is, quitting Wizards of Waverly Place, whatever that is, constitutes “breaking news,” you’re damn close. Either way, someone should inform him that just because he thinks and writes like he’s underage doesn’t make it legal for him to possess or disseminate semi-nude images of jail bait.
I was in the mood to vehemently contradict something substantial, but then I remembered where I was, so the best I could do was rag on him for bragging about Irvine being the twenty-second best place to live—about which, no—and UCI being ranked just below Wisconsin in U.S. News and World Report annual poll. Talk about reflected glory: he’s owning the university on account of living in the same city as it. But the best part of his boasting about UCI? He’s unwittingly praising me.
After all, if anyone should be boasting about UCI’s ranking, it should be someone to whom it granted a degree.*
*Before you ask: I am aware that this post is as vapid as the site it links to. I’d intended to mock him for writing “of course ObamaCare has by now proved to be as disastrous as conservatives originally warned,” then ask him to show me the death panels, but sheer lunacy of the other posts stopped me short. Apologies, all.