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The Whine of the "Nice Guy"


An excellent post by Lindsay, who skewers the ressentiment of self-described “nice guys” very effectively. It was fascinating to read the comments of various threads and see the durability of the self-serving “nice guys can’t get laid” myth. (Part of the problem may stem from the fact that it is often bad news to be described as a “nice guy” by someone you’re romantically interested in. But that doesn’t mean that being perceived as nice is a negative factor; it’s just a kind way of telling you that one doesn’t find you attractive.) To state the obvious, if you have to repeatedly assert that you’re a nice person, you probably aren’t.

It’s also worth noting the point Prof. B made in comments in the earlier thread, which is that the whole discussion treats women as prizes rather than human beings. I would add to this that the whole idea of desert when it comes to relationships doesn’t make a lick of sense. Whether you’re primarily attracted to conventional beauty or unconventional beauty or brains or artistic gifts or kindness or baseball knowledge or whatever combination of such factors, it’s all equally arbitrary, and no choice is inherently better or worse than any other.

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