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You start wearing blue and brown

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You know how Van Halen started with David Lee Roth, and yet somehow replaced him with a succession of lead singers who were exponentially worse? That pretty much sums up our new Attorney General. You’d think after Ashcroft there would be no way to go but up, but…

I can’t put it better thanĀ the Poor Man:

Bush has nominated Alberto Gonzales to replace John Ashcroft as Attorney General. Yup, that Alberto Gonzales. On the minus side, Gonzales thinks that the Magna Carta is a dangerous piece of judicial activism. On the plus side, he grew up in a two-bedroom house. So it’s kind of a rags-to-fascism success story, which shows that the American dream is still alive, albeit with a bit more torture.

Later in the day, Bush is expected to tap Lyndie England to replace Donald Rumsfeld as Secretary of Defense, and later in the week Colin Powell will step down to be replaced by that dog that bit all those prisoners at Abu Griab.

For those of you keeping score at home, the second Bush term doesn’t start for another eight weeks.

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