So I almost landed an interview with Kirk Cameron about why he thought his new film was the lowest rated movie on IMDB, but I heard back from his people and apparently he found something I wrote yesterday “terribly disappointing” and called it off — which I found weird given that I didn’t work yesterday.*
But in case you’re wondering what it’s like to be vetted by Kirk Cameron’s people, it goes something like this:
SEK is being interviewed by Kirk Cameron’s Handler (KCH) for a potential article.
KCH: Kirk wants to know if you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, Christ the Savior.
SEK: I attended CCD for a few years and studied Latin in college. I translated a lot of the Church Fathers — Augustine, Aquinas, and the like.
KCH: That’s really interesting, really. So you know about sin?
SEK: I know more than anyone cares to about the danger stealing pears from your neighbor can pose for your soul.
KCH: So you were raised Catholic?
SEK: Catholic and Jewish.
KCH: You know Hebrew?
KCH: Kirk’s a big fan of Hebrew, big fan.
SEK: It’s the only dead language to be revived.
KCH: I didn’t know that, did not know. That’s really interesting. Are you gay?
SEK: I am not.
KCH: Good, good, just need to dot those “t”s. Have you ever been gay?
SEK: I have not, but I’m not sure how that’s relevant to my ability to discuss film. Did you read the links I sent?
KCH: I did, and they were great, great. Loved them, loved. But some of the language was not quite Christ-like.
SEK: I can adapt to my audience — we’ve been talking for twenty minutes and I haven’t cussed once.
KCH: That’s true, true. Good. What are your feelings about “gotcha” interviews?
SEK: They get you one good moment, but burn your reputation for being fair-minded to people you disagree with.
KCH: So you don’t like them? Hate them?
SEK: I can’t do my job if people don’t trust me to treat them fairly.
KCH: That sounds fair, really fair. How do you think this is going?
SEK: Pretty good.
KCH: I think so too. I think we can make this work. I like you.
SEK: Thanks. I like to be likable.
KCH: Which is why I’m worried about the state of your soul, but we can talk about that later.
SEK: Do I need to be saved to do the interview?
KCH: Kirk would definitely be more comfortable, definitely.
KCH: Let me pass this on to Kirk, and I’ll let you know.
*I did however write this on Facebook and I suppose he could’ve found that offensive.
Her hatred apparently extends to Dutch bassoonists, about which I don’t even know what to say.
I understand everyone’s shit’s emotional right now. But I’ve got a three point plan that’s going to fix everything. Number 1: Women are people and men’s right movement types are the Taliban and ISIS…
I spent two glorious hours on Graphic Policy Radio last night ostensibly talking about NBC’s Constantine, but as the title of this post indicates, we got a little digressive. You can listen to the entire podcast below:
Check Out Pop Culture Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with graphicpolicy
The “church branding agency” probably should’ve went with Chick fil A — what with the in-built demographic crossover — but I can see “the McMass project” working out just as well.
Not quite, Spike — I just wrote an Internet Film School column about the Thanksgiving episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer for the AV Club.
Thanksgiving is a holiday that allows filmmakers to get back to the medium’s theatrical roots. No elaborate sets are required — just a table and some people who know each other so well they decided to come together once a year rather than interact regularly. It is a chance for film to scale back its visual ambitions and look like a play without stumbling into the stodgy stage direction of an old episode of Masterpiece Theatre. Only unlike those film adaptations of dramatic works, there is a natural quality to the limitations placed upon a film that happens on Thanksgiving. Everyone looks like they’re in the same place not because the theater couldn’t afford better sets, but because everyone is trapped in the same confined spaces by strained familial bonds. Because if ever there were a time and a place for families to fall apart, it’s Thanksgiving.
Families fall apart all the time — I consider “families falling apart” to be a genre, and Noah Baumbach the current king of it — but never as spectacularly as they do during Thanksgiving. Perhaps as alluded to above, it is because of the artificially pressurized atmosphere the holiday creates. People who don’t particularly like each other are yet again forced to make extended displays of false joviality in order to please the one family member who actually cares about everyone. Sometimes that character is a doting mother, sometimes a dying father, or in the case of the “Pangs” episode of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, an empty-nested Chosen One whose surrogate family is on the brink of collapse…
Apparently, when you control for the crack-cocaine epidemic, it turns out the equation is “More Guns, More Crime.”
…I spoke to Chris Kluwe about my earlier interview with Adam Baldwin. This part should amuse some of the folks who commented on the previous post:
Kluwe began by noting that it was strange that Baldwin, a critic of journalistic ethics, requested that the interview be conducted on Twitter, which is not conventional journalistic procedure — but that he understood the desire to work in a format in which ideological opponents would not be able to manipulate your words.
…and Animal Mother/Jayne didn’t disappoint.
Though he did want to talk about the Frankfurt School more than I expected.
…and then there’s whatever this is.