…but in response to New York Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy taking three days off to attend the birth of his first child, WFAN radio host and former NFL quarterback Boomer Esiason said that Murphy should’ve forced his wife to have a C-section before Opening Day so he could “get his ass back to work.”
Murphy’s response most likely looked something like this:
The less offensive NYC radio host response was that paternity leave is a “scam,” a “gimmick,” and when a caller tried to say postpartum depression was real, the host shouted him down, yelling “Stop! Stop, stop, stop — no, stop! Don’t bring up postpartum.”
Stay classy, sports radio.
This revelation would’ve blown my mind back in 1992, but as it stands, I’m just glad I got to totally nerd-out on a former president.
…and in any language, no less:
That’s from last night’s Angels-Mariners game, and in case your high school Spanish is rusty, this oblivious ass of a Yankee fan is criticizing Cano for leaving the Yankees because — I shit you not — “all you care about is money.”
I bet that guy looks in the mirror every morning and
is shocked, yet again, by how much he thinks he resembles a young George Clooney. Such is his capacity for reflection, much less that of the “self” variety.
…so Arizona Republicans decided to gift the prison company that got “shorted” a cool $1 million.
And if you think there’s
something wrong with that, you hate freedom.
ALSO: At least New Mexico’s not using excessive force…today.
File under “Things SEK Learned Today.”
bottom of the article, you can listen to their outgoing voicemail message. It’s well-worth a listen, if I do say so myself.
Also, I know that the idea of SEK calling the KKK basically means that when the inevitable happens, people will be able to say, “He was asking for it.” But you know what? It was worth it.
It was all worth it.
You’ll never guess who it is: Professor teaching class on vigilante justice is pepper-sprayed by vigilante seeking justice
But of all the bloggers out there who aren’t me, he ranks high on the list of bloggers-likely-to-be-peppered-sprayed-by-a-troll.
There are so many science fiction related jokes/dreams-fulfilled related to this story that I don’t even know where to start.
So I’ll leave it up to you.
The Arizona pastor who infamously told his parishioners to pray for Obama’s death doesn’t want to hear a damn thing out of you ladies, so just you shut up already.
SEK walks to the checkout line and asks the cashier if she can grab him a bottle of SKYY, because in Louisiana the alcohol is kept in a different, special, somewhat faraway place and must be requested.
CASHIER: The blue one?
SEK: Yes, much appreciated.
CASHIER walks to different, special, somewhat faraway place and returns with a clear bottle of Absolut.
CASHIER: This one?
SEK: No, the blue one.
CASHIER: (looks somewhat faraway) But does this one work for you?
SEK: Not really, it’s $15 more expensive.
CASHIER: (emphatically looks somewhat faraway) So you don’t want it?
SEK: I wanted the —
CASHIER: HEY HONEY, LOOK WHAT I FOUND HERE!
CASHIER: IT’S A COUPON!
SEK: A coupon?
CASHIER: FOR $15 OFF THE VODKA YOU DON’T WANT!
SEK: I’ll … I’ll take it?
CASHIER: You’re welcome, handsome. Have yourself a good one.
Because white preschoolers are suspended for “observable offenses,” whereas black preschoolers are suspended for being uppity. Just look at that kid’s uppity little face. Does he look like he wants to learn?