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[ 0 ] December 16, 2005 |

Friday Cat Blogging… Flounder and Squeak

In My Universe, Earl Warren was a Democrat…

[ 0 ] December 16, 2005 |

Check out this fine post from Confederate Yankee on how the Republican Party is now and always has been a friend to the black man. Read especially the comments; they’ve achieved a level of false-consciousness usually only associated with Derek Jeter fans…

You know with a name like Confederate Yankee it has to be entertaining. I assume that those Confederate battle flags up on his site are all about the heritage…

Bad and Worse

[ 0 ] December 14, 2005 |

Last week, my new NL team traded for Tony Womack. They didn’t give up anything of consequence, and the Yankees picked up part of Womack’s salary. The downside is that they now have Tony Womack.

This week, my AL team signed Carl Everett. There is no upside.

It’s going to be a long year.

UPDATE: Giving it some more thought, I think that the Everett signing is actually worse than the Womack trade. The Mariners have managed to acquire a DH who, next year, is likely to hit like a league average shortstop. Worse, they’ve pushed their previous DH back into left field, where he’s likely to be the worst defensive outfielder in the league. One year, three million would be a bad deal if Everett were paying to play. Add to that the fact that Carl Everett is a thug, and you’ve got a genuine disaster on your hands. Great work, Bill. At least it looks as if the Reds are only going to use Womack as a utility player.

Last Kaus this Week

[ 0 ] December 14, 2005 |

I apologize in advance…

Mickey is trying to correct the impression that he just doesn’t like homosexuals:

If a gay man, say, goes to see “Wuthering Heights,” there is at least one romantic lead of the sex he’s interested in! In “Brokeback Mountain,” neither of the two romantic leads is of a sex I’m interested in. … My wild hypothesis is that more people will go see a movie if it features an actor or actress they find attractive! If heterosexual men in heartland America don’t flock to see Brokeback Mountain it’s not because they’re bigoted. It’s because they’re heterosexual. “Heterosexuals Attracted to Members of the Opposite Sex”–for those cultural critics wondering what a commerical disappointment for this much-heralded movie will Tell Us About America Today, there’s your headline. …


If I’m reading this right, Mickey thinks that the box office of a film depends on the attractiveness of its stars to the opposite sex. The reason Mickey (and his hypothetical American movie going audience) doesn’t want to see Brokeback Mountain isn’t because gay sex makes him uncomfortable, but rather because there are no women involved. Mickey, you see, watches movies because he likes to think about having sex with attractive actresses. This explains why he was just as skeptical about the box office chances of, say, Master and Commander (no female characters) as he is about those of Brokeback Mountain. No women, and guys won’t want to see it. Or so I assume; I haven’t actually checked back into his archives to find out. Also, I invite you to examine the 2005 box office list, and tell me how much the success of these films depended on the attractiveness of their stars to the opposite sex, as opposed to story, setting, acting, writing, directing, and so forth.

I can see why Mickey feels resentful about all this. Damn dirty liberals like Frank Rich are trying to make him feel bad about not wanting to see Brokeback Mountain. Well, they’re not actually trying, but Mickey suspects that they might. Sexual preference, you see, is genetic, and Mickey is a confirmed, genetically determined heterosexual, meaning that he can’t enjoy a movie in which men have sex with one another. Worse, if Mickey did find the sex scenes…interesting… then he would be forced to ask awkward, uncomfortable questions about himself. Since we are all genetically determined to like either men or women, Mickey might be forced to wonder about which way his genes actually pointed. I can see how that would be difficult for him.

Have no sympathy for Mickey. If he had written that he was reluctant to see Brokeback Mountain because Ang Lee is a hit or miss director, I wouldn’t be harassing him. If he were reluctant to see it because films on such topics often take on an Afterschool Special quality, I wouldn’t harass him. If he were reluctant to see it because he doesn’t care for cowboy romance films, I wouldn’t harass him. Mickey has been quite specific, though; he doesn’t want to see it because it’s a gay film, and thinks it will fail commercially for the same reason. That he may be right about the second doesn’t excuse the first.

UPDATE (from Scott): Roger Ailes finds the only film of the last half-century that Kaus could like.

Counterinsurgency is Hard

[ 0 ] December 13, 2005 |

Fine post on counter-insurgency from Kingdaddy.

Via AG.

America Meets America

[ 0 ] December 13, 2005 |

Duss has a nice post.

Unclear on the Concept

[ 0 ] December 13, 2005 |

The battle never ends.

Here’s a test. Can you distinguish between these two events?

1. A prominent Congressman shuts down the government because the President makes him use the back door of Air Force One.

2. A prominent Congressman decries the President’s handling of the war in part because that President has failed to communicate even with the hawkish elements in the opposing party.

If you think that these are qualitatively different, congratulations. You’re smarter than Mickey Kaus. I would advise sending an e-mail to Jacob Weisberg and asking for prominent blog space on the homepage of God knows, we can only be the better for it.

Which Historic General Are You

[ 0 ] December 12, 2005 |

Julius Caesar

You scored 46 Wisdom, 69 Tactics, 53 Guts, and 50 Ruthlessness!

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 6% on Unorthodox
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You scored higher than 45% on Tactics
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You scored higher than 44% on Guts
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You scored higher than 56% on Ruthlessness

Link: The Which Historic General Are You Test written by dasnyds on Ok Cupid.

The Best of LGM

[ 0 ] December 12, 2005 |

Gentle Reader,

If you would take a look below the ads and Donation Box (clickety click!) on our right sidebar, you’ll notice a new feature, Best of LGM. Thus far, I have only collected posts relating to Our War Against Mickey Kaus, Sunday Battleship Blogging, and the Goeben. We hope to add some more topics in the next couple weeks, including Roe vs. Wade, China, Friday Cat Blogging, and others. Enjoy!

Sometimes He Just Defies Description

[ 0 ] December 12, 2005 |

But “wanktastic hackmeister” is a good start:

Guilt-Trip, Incoming! I’m highly skeptical that a movie about gay cowhands, however good, will find a large mainstream audience. I’ll go see it, but I don’t want to go see it. (Why? Sexual orientation really is in the genes. Sorry.) When the film’s national box office fails to live up to its hype and to the record attendance at a few early screenings, prepare to be subjected to a tedious round of guilt-tripping and chin-scratching by Frank Rich and every metropolitan daily entertainment writer who yearns to write about What the Movies Say About America Today. (Wild guess: They say we’re still homophobic!) That will be harder to ignore than the movie. … Maybe if we all go see it, Rich won’t write about it! [He'll write about it-ed Good point.] 9:15 P.M.

Mickey may be right about Brokeback Mountain failing to find a large audience, although it’s really hard to say. It’s the second sentence that really confounds me; how could one’s attitude towards the genetic determinacy of homosexuality possibly affect one’s desire to see Brokeback Mountain, either positively or negatively? Setting aside the fact that discussion about genetics and homosexuality is hardly finished, I’m just very flummoxed as to how your position on that questions affects your inclination to see Brokeback Mountain any more than it affects, say, your preference for mustard over catsup or your desire to see King Kong.

Honestly, I prefer genuine Medveditism to Kaus’ cynical, too clever by half wankery. “Oh, I’ll see it in order to prove that I’m not homophobic, but don’t forget that it really is a plot by liberal Hollywood to demonstrate that we’re all homophobic. By the way, I’m a liberal, so you should take seriously my critiques of all these other dirty liberals.” Will I see Brokeback Mountain? I don’t know, depends on the reviews. I wasn’t really planning on it, but the preview I saw looked pretty solid, and you can do a lot worse than Proulx and McMurtry.

News from the Northern Front

[ 0 ] December 12, 2005 |

Be sure to read Dave Noon’s update on our progress in the War Against Christmas.


The Bevilacqua Hit

[ 0 ] December 12, 2005 |

It looks as if the Bevilacqua kid (“Cause that sugarless motherfucker, it’s the last fucking drink you’re ever gonna have.”) has some actual legal problems:

An actor who once played an aspiring mobster on ”The Sopranos” faces murder charges along with another man in the death of an off-duty police officer, authorities said Sunday.

Lillo Brancato Jr., 29, was hospitalized in critical condition with gunshot wounds suffered when the officer shot him after catching two men breaking into a home. Brancato’s friend Steven Armento, 48, was also shot and in critical condition.

Prosecutors were in the process Sunday of charging Armento with first- and second-degree murder and Brancato with second-degree murder in the death Saturday of Officer Daniel Enchautegui, 28, said Steven Reed, a spokesman for the district attorney’s office.

Ah. Life imitating art…

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