Who will be America’s Next Top Chief of Staff?

• Must enjoy working for a sentient shouting pile of BBQ potato chips.
• Ability to look earnest and engaged while being showed in bullshit a requirement.
• Will be expected to carry water and possibly hold the bag.
• Benefit package includes daily shoe shines administered by the loving tongues of pundits who will call you the next grown up in the room and other weird “Will you be my daddy?” stuff.

Anyway, I think America’s Next Top Chief of Staff will be Ivanka. Individual-1 will have Junior or Gummy take her place. Hilarity and some sort of national crisis will ensue.