Aim high, shoot low
By 
As a liberal I certainly would be terminally owned if RW conspiracy theorists make a habit of shooting their fellow babblers in the butts.
A man who worked as an investigator for conspiracy theorist Jack Burkman will serve nine years in prison for shooting and wounding his ex-boss in a complicated plot involving a fake FBI exposé.
Kevin Doherty, 46, said little as Judge William T. Newman Jr. sentenced him Monday for malicious wounding and use of a firearm in commission of a felony, but he acknowledged the veracity of a set of facts read by Assistant Commonwealth’s Attorney Evie Eastman detailing his “serious falling out” with Burkman and the “grand ruse” he concocted in revenge.
The nature of the wounding may explain why Burkman stood throughout the press he hosted with Jacob Wohl last month.
Burkman told The Washington Post in March that he hired Doherty, a onetime Marine, to investigate the death of Democratic National Committee staffer Seth Rich. Burkman, a Republican lobbyist, has enmeshed himself in a conspiracy theory that Rich was killed for handing Democratic emails over to WikiLeaks. Law enforcement has deemed the homicide a botched street robbery, and Rich’s family has repeatedly sued right-wing news outlets for falsely reporting otherwise.
Doherty was supposed to build a psychological profile of Rich’s possible killer, but Burkman said in March that he and Doherty quickly came to loggerheads over control of the project. Burkman fired Doherty in July 2017.
In court, Eastman described the plot Doherty executed months later and how police tracked him down. Doherty sent Burkman emails pretending to have information “detrimental to the FBI.” Burkman paid Doherty $15,000 and arranged to pick up the documentation from under a traffic cone at the Key Bridge Marriott in Arlington on March 13.
Not the parking garage of the Oakhill building in Rossyln? Talk about a missed opportunity.
When Burkman leaned over to get the documents, Eastman said, Doherty shot him twice in the buttocks with a rifle. Burkman fled up a parking ramp, carrying the traffic cone and his dog, Jack Jr. Doherty admitted he then ran down his former employer from behind the wheel of a black SUV.
In a properly organized world a saxophonist would have been on hand to play Yakety Sax.
Burkman suffered a broken arm, and two bullets remain lodged in his buttocks, Eastman said. His dachshund was not harmed.
Hahahahahahaha! Oh dear.
I’m glad the dog wasn’t hurt.
