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Friday Night Creature Feature: Shoebill Stork


It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?

Let’s get right to the creature: I came across the Shoebill Stork on twitter. Someone had posted a video of a “bird” that simply didn’t look real to me; it more closely resembled some sort of botched animatronic, some sort of Jim Henson-on-a-bad-trip muppet. I was shook. So I did some googling. And apparently this freakshow of a modern dinosaur is real. Behold…the Shoebill Stork:

Don’t worry. This is perfectly normal. I’m sure this giant stork isn’t thinking about murdering you right now.

As someone who enjoys googling weird creatures– especially prehistoric and deep sea nightmare fodder–I thought of myself as fairly jaded. I mean the Megalodon was a shark that was LITERALLY AS BIG AS A BUS. The Triassic’s tanystropheous was a reptile with a 10-foot-long neck that it used to catch fish. I’ve seen Gulper Eels. I’ve been in the trenches. I’ve seen some shit. But nothing prepared me for this nightmare creature:

I may never sleep again.

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