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TV Notes: “Succession”

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I watched the first episode of  “Succession” so you won’t have to. It’s a bland, colorless, pretentious waste of time. Adam McKay–director of”Talladega Nights” and other good-natured comedies you’ve probably watched a million times–decided to go all Stephen Soderbergh on our asses and created this baffling entrée into prestige television.

Brian Cox plays an 80-year-old billionaire who may not be ready to give the reins of his media empire to his kids. He skulks around looking bored and annoyed and mumbling his disdain. He says “fuck” a lot. One son wants nothing to do with his jerk of a billionaire dad. He’s a rancher! He gives his dad sourdough bread starter for his birthday lunch. “How delightfully unpretentious!” we’re instructed to think.  His next oldest son is the ex-cokehead who desperately wants to take over for dad. Kieran Culkin plays the eccentric youngest son by lounging upside down on chairs and ripping up million dollar checks in front of a poor Latino family. Edgy! And then there’s some puffy-eyed actress who plays the daughter who’s In Politics.

It’s all very trope-y, but thinks it’s not, because it’s bland, colorless and pretentious. It’s. A. Soap. But instead of being campy and fun, it’s joyless. Just utterly joyless.

If you want to watch a television show about obscenely wealthy jerks jockeying for money and power, stream “Dirty Sexy Money.” It’ll be a much better use of your time.

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