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LGM Tourism

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Being an LGM writer means that, as we are aware of all internet traditions, certain places become shrines of a sort. Those of you who only started reading LGM in the last 4 or 5 years may not remember a troll we had for awhile who signed every comment with “RICK VENEMA, COLONIAL HEIGHTS, VIRGINIA.” Now, RICK VENEMA was a unique troll. At least how I remember him, he was very earnest with his stupidity. He was as racist as any other troll, but in a sense, he wasn’t trolling exactly. He really believed this shit. All his comments are gone now unless they are saved on some old-timey comment saving site or something. RICK VENEMA believed that he lived in the greatest place on earth, and the evidence for this was that COLONIAL HEIGHTS, VIRGINIA had the world’s biggest Arby’s. This became a running joke for awhile here. Eventually, RICK VENEMA seems to have disappeared from the internet entirely. But he hasn’t disappeared from our hearts. As I am in Richmond for a couple of days, I had no choice, right after stopping at the Petersburg battlefield and of course the Crater, a depressing enough spot, to check in at THE BIG ASS ARBY’S IN COLONIAL HEIGHTS, VIRGINIA. And here it is.

Now, you may be asking, did you eat there? And I respond, do I look like Farley? I did however enter, to use the facilities. And I took a peek around. Basically, it’s a food court with various Arby’s options. And yes, it is large. For RICK VENEMA, a shitty food court all made with Arby’s products in a suburban development with shitty chain restaurants strewn across the landscape like a Pollock splatter painting was the peak of global civilization. So it is for so many Americans.

Anyway, I am always happy to further the project of LGM shrine construction. Perhaps we should have a giant LGM meetup in COLONIAL HEIGHTS, VIRGINIA soon and all march en masse to the BIG FUCKING ARBY’S!!

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