Home / General / Milwaukee’s dungeon master decides he won’t take job he says he was offered

Milwaukee’s dungeon master decides he won’t take job he says he was offered



“Late Friday, Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke Jr. formally notified Secretary of Homeland Security John F. Kelly that he had rescinded his acceptance of the agency’s offer to join DHS as an assistant secretary,” said Craig Peterson, an adviser to Clarke.


“Sheriff Clarke is 100 percent committed to the success of President Trump and believes his skills could be better utilized to promote the president’s agenda in a more aggressive role.”

That’s nice. How about aggressively playing in traffic?

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  • LosGatosCA

    Why take a job and move 800 miles just to be fired when Pence takes over?

    ETA – with the US Commission on Civil Rights looking over his shoulder implementing a domestic Gitmo won’t be possible

    • Peterr

      I suspect Trump won’t take kindly to the USCCR’s attempt at oversight. Perhaps he’ll move to zero out their budget entirely.

      It will be a race to see which fight is worse – Trump’s war on science led by Scott Pruitt or his war on civil rights led by Steve Bannon.

      • Incontinentia Buttocks

        Hey…our AG thought he was leading the war on civil rights! He’ll be so disappointed to hear he isn’t.

  • Pseudonym

    Bye, Fascista.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Dare I dream that he had already submitted his resignation?

    • Schadenboner

      No such luck, we’re still stuck with the fucker here.

  • wjts

    This seems unfair to Dungeon Masters who are, on the whole*, gentle creatures that are more frightened of you than you are of them.

    *Exceptions are the ones who own a complete set of Grimtooth’s Traps and/or smirk their way through Tomb of Horrors.

    • Hogan

      Agreed. I would propose “Crypt Keeper” as a substitute.

      • farin

        That’s a slur on the memory of a beloved entertainer!

      • theforeignhistorian

        Leave KellyAnne alone!

    • TinEar

      The same goes for the OTHER kind of Dungeon Master, too. Though without the exceptions, because people will pay good money for that level of sadism.

    • fatvalkilmer

      I appreciate you. The ghost of Gary Gygax thinks you’re a softie, though.

      • Schadenboner

        Tomb of Horrors was designed as a challenge dungeon for Gen Con not something to be inflicted on actual players in a campaign.

        The very little I heard about Gygax at my dearly departed FLGS (Napoleons, about which I would sing bildungsroman country-western songs a la Chattahoochee were I able to find a good rhyme for “Space Marine”, had a DM who had been DM’ed by one of Gygax’s own players in Lake Geneva IIRC, givng him a Gygax Number of like 2 or 3 I think) held that he was actually a decently nice guy and a Good DM.

  • science_goy

    “… believes his skills could be better utilized to promote the president’s agenda in a more aggressive role.”

    Holding out for the eventual Attorney General opening, is he?

    • farin

      Given his current place in the line of succession and the turnover in the position, he’s most likely gonna get his number called in the first term.

  • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

    How we know this is bullshit: So if you work in government, your main perk financially is a big pension. And your pension is tied to your length of service, and your final pay grade at retirement. After a certain number of decades, if you’re unlikely to get a promotion in the next 5 years, staying on doesn’t make much sense (because your pension won’t grow much). So the really savvy cops/ firemen/ etc. jump levels: city to fed, fed to state, etc.

    I had a coworker who had earned a City pension (20 years at LAPD), retired from there and did 5 years at TSA (thereby earning a Federal pension), then worked at the County to get his third pension.

    So for Clarke to “turn down” the chance to not only take a prestigious job, but the chance to earn a second Federal pension at what must be a pretty solid pay grade, to me it stinks on ice.

    • Peterr

      For career folks it is the pension, but for folks on the political side of things it is often getting the cred to get on the right wing speaker’s circuit gravy train or a cushy K Street consulting gig.

      You get a lot more for either of those than you do with a pension.

      • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

        I would think his options for that circuit would only be improved by taking a job in the administration.

        • Woodrowfan

          not to mention the Regnery book contract..

        • twbb

          It is possible that the Trump administration might end up too toxic for even K Street or anybody but the most vile of the right-wing speaker’s circuit gravy train.

        • Peterr

          Something tells me his confirmation hearing would not be pleasant, nor a sure thing.

          Taking the Fifth Amendment when you are trying to make the case that you’d make a great assistant secretary is not typically seen as a way to round up votes for your confirmation.

          • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

            IIRC somebody who knows more than me said his position wouldn’t he subject to confirmation hearings.

          • Warren Terra

            I think the job he claimed to have been appointed to – a claim that as I recall was never confirmed by any administration source even off the record – did not require Senate confirmation.

        • Warren Terra

          He might do OK on the wingnut speaking circuit in a few years as a veteran of the Trump Administration; he might not. He certainly risks entering that market when (1) the bloom is off the rose; and (2) a lot of other Trump administration veterans are simultaneously looking for paid gigs.

          On the other hand: he’s a Fox News Celebrity now, he can make money on the circuit now, and he’s certain to parlay this lost opportunity into a public martyrdom at the hands of the Left, and (as he’s already doing) to say that he’s been freed to speak his unfiltered mind.

      • cpinva

        there’s also the continuance of your health insurance (a very important factor for me, as my wife was terminally ill at the time, and waiting/hoping for a transplant. very expensive proposition on your own. not all that cheap even with insurance, but still……….), that’s a big issue with retiree’s. i’m 61, things are going to start wearing out/breaking/etc. if the republicans do succeed in repealing the ACA/Obamacare, that’s going to make that an even more critical decision point in considering retirement.

        with 32 years as a federal employee, i’ll get nearly 50% of my prior take-home. add in my 401(k) and SS (i’m holding out for that until i turn 62), and i’ll be pretty close to 100% of my take-home. add in the costs i won’t be getting hit with, because i no longer am working/driving as much/parking costs/etc., and i would have been foolish to stay, for the marginal increase in my retirement benefits each year.

        there will be (i suspect) a massive brain-drain in the federal gov’t, over the next few years, as those in my cohort get tired of dealing with the Trumps/Republicans/RWNJ’s in general, and realize continuing to work, for the minimal extra’s, isn’t worth it. the huge thing is health insurance. having it, and being able to walk, is a big incentive to leave.

    • efgoldman

      I had a coworker who had earned a City pension (20 years at LAPD), retired from there and did 5 years at TSA (thereby earning a Federal pension), then worked at the County to get his third pension.

      Hey, my dad was a triple dipper: 22 years military pension, social security from before and after the Army, and a defined benefit (look it up. There used to be such things) from Honeywell, where he worked as a tech writer=>editor from his Army retirement until he was, I think 66.

    • Linnaeus

      Pension? I’ve heard of those.

      • cpinva

        i’ve heard of fire-breathing dragons as well.

    • sharculese

      My dad did this. He worked 20 years as a member of the uniformed services, then, when they offered him the job one step up from his, retired and started collecting his uniformed service pension while he kept working at a GS salary. It meant he started at a lower pay grade than he otherwise would have, but the net income was higher.

  • JDM

    And in other news, I hereby announce that I am not going to take a job as CEO of Apple. Shocking, I know.

    • Warren Terra

      Guess I’d better polish up my resume if you’re out of the running.

  • cpinva

    it’s a pity they didn’t show the picture of Secretary Kelly, with a totally baffled expression on his face, as he read this “letter”. now that would have been sweet.

    note that the only affirmative statements about this so called “offer”, have all come from Sheriff Clarke. no one, especially not in the Trump Administration (dysfunctional as it is), seems to have any first/second/third-hand knowledge of this. let’s be honest, any idiot with access to the internet, can claim anything they want. Sheriff Clarke certainly fills that bill of requirements, just barely.

    not in traffic, innocent people might get injured/killed. taking pictures from a narrow precipice, an accidental, yet tragic fall, will do nicely.

    • twbb

      Are you suggesting I WASN’T actually offered the position of Archbishop of Canterbury that I publicly turned down?

      • cpinva

        “Are you suggesting I WASN’T actually offered the position of Archbishop of Canterbury that I publicly turned down?”

        no, no, of course i believe you. however, for the benefit of my readers (HAH), could i see the offer letter?

        • twbb

          The cherubim let me see it but took it back with them when I turned it down.

    • Ken

      At this point I would be surprised if there’s anyone in the Trump administration that remembers they offered him the job.

    • note that the only affirmative statements about this so called “offer”, have all come from Sheriff Clarke.


    • TinEar

      In fairness I can’t think of anywhere it would be more likely you could get away with just showing up and claiming you’d been hired. Who’d be able to say otherwise?

      • cpinva

        interesting idea. i always kind of wanted to be an Asst. Secretary of the Treasury. heck, i even have some real bona fides for the job. anyway, that’s why you hire minions, to take care of the details for you. i wonder what would happen, if i just showed up at the Treasury HQ in DC, wearing a conservative suit, briefcase in hand, and told the receptionist that Jared had sent me over, to fill one of the open slots?

        • bender

          What do you have to lose? Give it a try.

          If you get busted, say you were doing an investigative report on the hiring process of the administration.

    • Schadenboner

      Repeat after me: “He wasn’t pushed, he fell. And I don’t know where that hand-print on his back came from, either.”

  • twbb

    Wonder if he got a better offer from Fox News or whatever that new cable channel is that thinks Fox News is too liberal.

    • LosGatosCA

      Plagiarism was his downfall, I think

      • Warren Terra

        I’ts nice he had a downfall, but a little sickening that was the one that stuck. Though I always thought his using his pet cops to harass a middle-class dude who had, at most, harrumphed at him several hours earlier was more likely to cause him real problem than his overseeing inmate death and rape, or his various incendiary statements.

      • efgoldman

        Plagiarism was his downfall, I think

        You’re very funny.
        The AG perjured himself at least three times.
        The latest SCOTUS appointment plagiarized, and was part of a Nazi group.
        Nope. I think Clarke’s problems were (a) he appointed himself (b) this maladministration is already over its ni[clang[ quota (c) even in Snotty Walker’s Wisconsin, it’s possible they’re catching up to him, and he knows it. They caught up with his asshole buddy Joe Arpaio, after all.

        • twbb

          Yes, the idea that plagiarism has any impact for GOPers right now is unconvincing.

          • brendalu

            He plagiarized from the ACLU. I can imagine that might be a special case.

            It was bullshit from the start seems the more likely option though.

        • Mellano

          Milwaukee County is who elected him multiple times, and the Democratic Party of same is finally ready to slam the door on his backside in the primaries next year.

          As for Scott Walker Land, I guess we’ll see soon if the Draft David Clarke for Senate campaign has any legs, er, money, left after this DHS flirtation, soon.

  • paulgottlieb

    What was the problem? Are there still unraped female prisoners? Are there still mentally ill prisoners who haven’t been starved enough or dehydrated enough?

    • GeorgeBurnsWasRight

      Getting into the opening pages of the contemporary re-write of A Christmas Carol in June?

      (Spoiler- in the contemporary version, in the end Scrooge turns into Trump.)

      • Warren Terra

        You can’t really imagine a Trump Christmas Carol, because you can’t imagine Trump ever reforming. Also, who would play the Jacob Marley role – Roy Cohn?

        • wjts

          “Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-come’s vision nothing but fake news! Witch hunt. Sad.”

        • AndersH

          “It’s Christmas Day!” said Scrooge to himself. “I haven’t missed it. The Spirits have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course they can. Of course they can. Hallo, my fine fellow!”

          “Hallo!” returned the boy.

          “Do you know the Poulterer’s, in the next street but one, at the corner?” Scrooge inquired.

          “I should hope I did,” replied the lad.

          “An intelligent boy!” said Scrooge. “A remarkable boy! Do you know whether they’ve sold the prize Turkey that was hanging up there?—Not the little prize Turkey: the big one?”

          “What, the one as big as me?” returned the boy.

          “What a delightful boy!” said Scrooge. “It’s a pleasure to talk to him. Yes, my buck!”

          “It’s hanging there now,” replied the boy.

          “Is it?” said Scrooge. “Go and buy it. In fact, buy all the turkeys, and bring them here. Then go tell everyone that to get to buy a turkey, they need to come here and tell me what makes me the best, most generous person.”

          • cpinva


  • promote the president’s agenda in a more aggressive role.

    Translation: Clarke is gonna shoot up an elementary school.

  • The only reason Clarke could get away with pretending he’d been offered a job is that Trump is doing such a dismal job of appointing and nominating real officials. Is anybody keeping a running total? We need three columns: confirmed, nominated and undergoing confirmation, and not nominated. Maybe four, as there seem to be cases where Trump has announced a pick for ambassador but not actually submitted the paperwork. This Administration is largely an empty shell, apart from Pruitt’s energetically evil EPA and the White House viper cage.

    • cpinva

      “This Administration is largely an empty shell, apart from Pruitt’s energetically evil EPA and the White House viper cage.”

      I think you have a new event for “professional wrestling” here. a weekly event, one of Pruitt’s guys against a West Wing guy. two go into the cage, only one (and I mean that literally) comes out still breathing. no rules/no holds or chemical weapons barred.

  • Terok Nor

    If there’s one thing Clarke loves more than abusing people, it’s attention. Would Trump tolerate one of his subordinates trying to steal his rightful spotlight?

  • Warren Terra

    So, apparently, the job offer was probably real albeit “tentative” and so maybe not absolutely confirmed.

    Odd though that for weeks no official would confirm Clarke’s assertion he’d been offered a job.

    • twbb

      “I can’t figure out whether the offer would make us look bad, or make him look bad.”

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