I mean, sure you would think that Jeffrey Loria would be the worst possible person to own the Marlins, barring Daniel Snyder wanting to break into baseball. But no! Evidently, no one can join the new Marlins ownership team without breaking into a special elite rich man’s douche club.
Former New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter is part of a group led by ex-Florida Gov. Jeb Bush that has reached an agreement to purchase the Miami Marlins after submitting a bid of $1.3 billion, according to multiple media reports.
Jeter and Jeb! Was Henry Kissinger not available? Pat Buchanan too busy talking to white nationalist groups to get involved? Alex Rodriguez too busy worshiping portraits of himself? John Elway too involved in hanging out with the equine side of his family? At the very least, it would seem to serve Tom Brady’s trips to visit Herr Trump at Mar-a-Lago.
Still, one can assume Scott Walker was too lame and boring to get invited into this club, which at least says something for them. Can still root for the Marlins over the Brewers anyway.