Goodbye, and Bad Luck
By 
One of America’s most disgusting politicians — and that ain’t an easy contest! — will be retreating from the slime from whence he emerged:
Rep. Jason Chaffetz will not seek re-election in 2018, two sources who have been informed of his decision told BuzzFeed on Wednesday morning.
Chaffetz later confirmed in a statement on Facebook that he will “will not be a candidate for any office in 2018.”
“Since late 2003 I have been fully engaged with politics as a campaign manager, a chief of staff, a candidate and as a Member of Congress. I have long advocated public service should be for a limited time and not a lifetime or full career. Many of you have heard me advocate, ‘Get in, serve, and get out.’ After more than 1,500 nights away from my home, it is time. I may run again for public office, but not in 2018,” he said.
Donald Trump can be secure that Chaffetz will continue to be his completely servile lickspittle and fail to exercise his institutional responsibilities even if he’s not running for anything.
As for why he’s actually leaving, I have no idea, but this is certainly what I want to be true:
Further fueling my curiosity RE whether he knew/suspected there’s material hacked by Russians that could damage him pic.twitter.com/MG3pOOnFW6
— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) April 19, 2017
[Jane Alexander voice] If you guys could just get Jason Chaffetz…that would be beautiful.