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Trump Apology Tour

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Does the Churchill Bust Weep?
Does the Churchill Bust Weep?

I’m old enough to remember when a Kenyan anti-colonialist temporarily moved a statue of a head, thus ruining the Anglo-American relationship forever.

The US has made a formal apology to Britain after the White House accused GCHQ of helping Barack Obama spy on Donald Trump in the White House.

Sean Spicer, Mr Trump’s press secretary, repeated a claim on Thursday evening – initially made by an analyst on Fox News – that GCHQ was used by Mr Obama to spy on Trump Tower in the lead-up to last November’s election.

The comments prompted a furious response from GCHQ, which in a break from normal practice issued a public statement: “Recent allegations made by media commentator Judge Andrew Napolitano about GCHQ being asked to conduct ‘wiretapping’ against the then president-elect are nonsense. They are utterly ridiculous and should be ignored.”

Intelligence sources told The Telegraph that both Mr Spicer and General McMaster, the US National Security Adviser, have apologised over the claims. “The apology came direct from them,” a source said.

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  • JohnT

    So are we British supposed to take the fake claims literally and the apology seriously? Or is it the other way round?

    (On a more serious note, one wonders how many of these kind of apologies McMaster is willing to make before honour obliges him to relinquish his position?)

    • N__B

      A Trumpet? Honor? Surely you jest.

    • A message from Donald J. Trump to the people of Britain.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFlaCapW77Y

    • efgoldman

      So are we British supposed to take the fake claims literally and the apology seriously? Or is it the other way round?

      Yes

  • los

    Top Cucks On Twitter: “Trump’s your president now. Get used to it.”

  • Rob in CT

    Also, from the “every accusation a confession” files, Trump’s permanent campaign.

    I distinctly remember Republicans claiming that Obama was “always in campaign mode” (when in actual fact, if anything he did too little on that front).

    Now we’ve got Combover Caligula holding rallies every few weeks.

    • King Goat

      Add this to he missed his Intel briefings! He was on vacation too much! Etc.,

      • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

        “Obama spent too much time on the golf course. Fore!”

    • swim2thesea

      And don’t forget that Obama was going on “apology tours” and America never needs to apologize for nuthin’ never ever.

      • Rob in CT

        Well I figured the title of this post covered that.

        Also, too: Obama golfs and vacations too much! Which was transparent bullshit from the beginning, as Dubya did more, and now…

        I seriously don’t know what to do with ~1/2 the country is totally unmoored from objective reality. They have literally inhabit a different factual universe than we do, and appear to have an unlimited tolerance for lies, so long as those lies are told about liberals/Others.

        • swim2thesea

          Yeah…I saw the title after I posted.

        • MidwestVillager

          Or they know the lies are lies but chose to repeat them anyway which seems more plausible. To pick an example from the campaign the Trump supporters who argued that Eisenhower deported 1/7 of the US population were presumably not speaking in good faith.

          • Rob in CT

            This is what I mean about their unlimited tolerance for lies. THEY ACCEPT THE LYING. They’re fine with it. The lies are just alternative facts. That which must be true to justify their hate.

  • bexley

    Leaks inside GCHQ suggest they did spy on Trump briefly.

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      “Leaks inside GCHQ suggest they did spy on Trump briefly.”

      “But the task force, every one of them, quickly went completely mad and had to be institutionalized, and in one case, put down.”

      “The Laundry said that they could not comment further, pending a paperclip audit.”

      • CHD

        +1 for the Stross reference
        I’m rereading The Fuller Memorandum now. This reading, I’m finding the horror not in BLUE HADES, but in the Russians, doing in a 10-year-old book exactly what they are doing in reality (?) now…

        • Ahuitzotl

          Ah. You thought the Laundry files were fiction?

          • rea

            Wait until you get to Apocalypse Codex, in which Theresa May and Boris Johnson play prominent roles (the later naked).

            • liberalrob

              That does sound like horror.

    • JohnT

      I should damn well hope so. That’s what I pay my UK taxes for, so they can keep an eye on unstable and opaque political figures abroad who might become a danger to Britain.
      Not kidding.

      • Matt Heath

        It is literally GCHQ’s to listen in on foreign leaders if they can. If they managed, the only people at fault are in American counter-intelligence

        • N__B

          The U.S. is currently leading the world in anti-intelligence. Is that the same thing as counter-intelligence?

      • Davis X. Machina

        The post of King of Scotland is vacant. I think there’s a strong candidate out there.

        • rea

          The post of King of Scotland is vacant.

          Well, there’s this old lady down south . . .

          Or alternatively, for the Jacobites among us (not to be confused with the Jacobins) there is Francis II, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of His other Realms and Territories King, Duke of Bavaria, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.

        • efgoldman

          The post of King of Scotland is vacant. I think there’s a strong candidate out there.

          Maybe I’ll apply. My last name is common in Scotland. A lady in a mall Scottish goods store once tried to sell me the “proper” tartan, until I explained that my dad and two of his brothers changed our last name at the beginning of WW2, so as not to have an obviously Russian/Jewish name just in case.

    • Cheerfull

      For those worried they have to think about this at all, here’s the story:

      The communications intelligence agency admitted they did listen to the President’s phone calls but only once and they would never waste their time doing it ever again.

      A spokesman said: “Come on, it’s not like he’s suddenly all ‘Excellent, the destabilisation of the economy is progressing as planned, now to test China’s nerve with capital controls,’ once nobody’s watching.

      “It’s just the usual garbled gabble about Hillary, his Apprentice ratings and the failing New York Times except there’s some bored billionaire on the other end waiting for a gap when he can ask for building permits.

      “Our trained operatives, used to deconstructing every nuance of codeword-laden conversations between Al Qaeda and Pakistan’s Inter-Service Intelligence, can’t listen to that shit. They’d lose their minds.

      “Plus he makes 70 per cent of calls from the toilet. Come on. Even we have our limits.

      Also to save everybody else from googling, GCHQ stands for Government Communications Headquarters, the British sigint.

    • los

      (parody site)

      • bexley

        Kind of thought that was obvious!

        • James

          It is almost never obvious.

          Many people (such as myself) don’t click on links unless they are accompanied by enough context to make it seem worth their while. In my case, I hovered over the link briefly, saw a link that I miss-read as to the Daily Mail, and until saw some of the content repeated further down, I simply took you at your word. The accusation that GCHQ was tapping Trump’s phone at Obama’s orders is absurd on its face. A claim that GCHQ tapped Trump’s phone as part of normal operations is neither shocking nor implausible.

          Beyond that, while it is easy to make fun of people who mistake satire for news, the truth is that it can be easy for even quite bright people to mistake parody for straight news at first glance. And that was true even before we entered into our current transcendentally absurd era in world affairs.

          But the important part is that you should assume that people aren’t going to follow your links. In my experience, readers follow links in direct proportion to the amount of context that is provided for the link.

  • Todd

    If we can’t trust a former NJ Superior Court judge turned tv bloviator to give this country the skinny on a closely guarded set of international classified facts, then where are we?

  • Mike in DC

    OT: Tillerson says diplomacy with NK “has failed”. Are we about to do something unbelievably stupid that will get hundreds of thousands of people killed and crash global markets?

    • Hogan

      Tillerson says diplomacy with NK “has failed”.

      Yes it has. Around here we call that “Thursday.”

      • Rob in CT

        This is just “Rob at the end of the bar, popping off” but I’ve long felt that the best response to North Korea is nothing. Just totally ignore them.

        Obviously, work with SK, Japan and NK’s sugardaddies in China. But totally, completely, ignore NK.

        NK’s “foreign policy” is essentially trolling.

        • efgoldman

          NK’s “foreign policy” is essentially trolling.

          Glad I’m not the only one who thinks so

    • wjts

      >N

      Joint Security Area Meeting Room

      This is a small room with a long conference table running across it. There is a scowling North Korean government official sitting on the northern side. There is an empty chair opposite him.

      >SAVE

      Floyd says, "Oh boy! Are we gonna try something dangerous now?"

      • El Guapo

        NM, that was Planetfall right? Also, I can haz edit button again? Yay!

        • FMguru

          Planetfall, or possibly Stationfall (the not-quite-as-good sequel).

          • El Guapo

            Time to break out Treasures of Infocom…

      • sibusisodan

        Who would have thought America would be eaten by a grue?

        Also, I am reminded of SEK. Sadness.

      • efgoldman

        Floyd says, “Oh boy! Are we gonna try something dangerous now?”

        And Donnie Deadbeat’s son (which one doesn’t matter) says “hold my beer and watch this!”

    • El Guapo

      Are we about to do something unbelievably stupid that will get hundreds of thousands of people killed and crash global markets?

      You mean like elect Donald J. Trump?

      • los

        how often does trump want to be elected?
        he has such an insecure personality

        /s

      • Mike in DC

        No, I’m talking about foreign casualties and foreign markets. Well, and the 30k military personnel stationed in SK.

        • Snarki, child of Loki

          10-20 Megadeaths, MAX!

          …depending on the breaks.

          • rea

            Might get our hair mussed . . .

            • Bill Murray

              Might get our hair mussed . . .

              or Mustaine’d

    • njorl

      Probably not. We’re probably just going to significantly increase the probability of bringing that about.

  • Crusty

    So now we’ve pissed off the Australia and the UK. Even Bannon’s got to be concerned that once Trump pops off something stupid about Canada, we won’t even have any more good white allies.

    • los

      we won’t even have any more good white allies

      White Russians

      and some Alaskans

      • Snarki, child of Loki

        They’ve pissed off the Swedish Bikini Team.

        Unforgivable, really.

        • los

          there goes the alpha male beer vote!

    • efgoldman

      we won’t even have any more good white allies.

      Last I checked, the Germans were white (excepting the Turks and the refugees); the Rooskies are not only radioactive pale, they’re at least as racist as the RWNJs, WWC and Amber Asshole are.

  • cpinva

    “I’m old enough to remember when a Kenyan anti-colonialist temporarily moved a statue of a head, thus ruining the Anglo-American relationship forever.”

    not to be nit picky or anything, but weren’t our country’s founders technically “anti-colonialist”? wanting to break away from their colonizer and all that.

    I just heard that somewhere, possibly 4th grade history or something.

    • guthrie

      Not exactly. They were actually ungrateful citizens who didn’t like being taxed and prevented from going colonialist on the native americans.

      • Q.E.Dumbass

        Apropos of nothing, I keep on confusing you with infrequent commentarion Gareth.

      • cpinva

        well yeah, and there was all that stuff about having to buy all manufactured goods from old blighty. England’s telling them not go beyond certain boundary lines didn’t exactly stop them from doing so, it just pissed off the locals, and required more British troops (with some local militia) to keep them all from getting killed. yeah, there were lots of things, but ultimately, they did become anti-colonialist, just only for themselves.

  • Alex.S

    Next on the apology tour… Germany!

    https://twitter.com/davidmackau/status/842775869823377409

    Photographers: Can we get a handshake?
    Merkel (to Trump): Do you want to have a handshake?
    Trump: *no response*
    Merkel: *makes awkward face*

    With the video.

    • Anna in PDX

      OMG what the hell was that

  • Alex.S

    Update — maybe they didn’t apologize.

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/salvadorhernandez/british-intelligence-agency-refutes-spy-claims?utm_term=.nqGoG1d6Q#.xtwvq6R9W

    One senior White House official, however, told The New York Times that Spicer offered no regret or apology.
    “He didn’t apologize, no way, no how,” the official was quoted as saying.
    The ambiguity over whether there was an apology puts pressure on Trump aides to clarify the exact nature of the conversation. Trump is legendarily opposed to apologizing.

    • cpinva

      yes, because by apologizing, that would admit culpability, which might bring on a lawsuit for damages. do you think the UK would take TX as compensation?

      • efgoldman

        do you think the UK would take TX as compensation?

        Maybe if we paid them and gave them an extra draft pick, like the Texans and the Browns.

        • John F

          I’d trade Texas for Scotland…

          • Hogan

            I’d trade Texas for Brixton.

        • liberalrob

          If that happened (TX to the UK) it would increase the length of The Yuuge Wall considerably.

  • liberalrob

    Sean Spicer, Mr Trump’s press secretary, repeated a claim on Thursday evening – initially made by an analyst on Fox News

    Here’s a way to save a bunch of money: zero out the budget of the CIA and just get all our intelligence (ahem) from Fox News.

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