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The Cabinet of Deplorables

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While Rick Perry discovers just what the hell the department he is going to run actually does and while Ben Carson examines his own stool in wondrous awe, Betsy DeVos utterly embarrasses herself in a hearing that LAMAR! rigged for her. But it doesn’t matter because she bought her position, just like a good Gilded Age capitalist does.

In 1997, she brashly explained her opposition to campaign-finance-reform measures that were aimed at cleaning up so-called “soft money,” a predecessor to today’s unlimited “dark money” election spending. “My family is the biggest contributor of soft money to the Republican National Committee,” she wrote in the Capitol Hill newspaper Roll Call. “I have decided to stop taking offense,” she wrote, “at the suggestion that we are buying influence. Now I simply concede the point. They are right. We do expect something in return. We expect to foster a conservative governing philosophy consisting of limited government and respect for traditional American virtues. We expect a return on our investment.”

Owning the country should provide that. All they need to do know is reintroduce slavery. Which I assume will be on the Republican platform in 2020, assuming they haven’t started the years over at 1 to honor Emperor Tangerine, a la the French Revolution.

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  • Hercules Mulligan

    BTW, Tim Kaine says he needs more information before he can decide on DeVos. I encourage you all to call his office to explain just how goddamn insane that position is.

    • Morbo

      There exist people who watched the Tim Kaine clip and think he was terribly unfair to her.

    • JdLaverty

      Don’t worry about her, she’ll do fine running the dept of ed. She’s rich, which means she’s an expert on Fixing Our Schools. All rich people are, I don’t remember the minimum amount of bucks you need to your name in order to receive the secret, but I think its somewhere in the low seven figures. Whatever the amount, there are lots of brave Reformers and Change Agents out there working tirelessly as part of the new civil rights movement. Thank the lord, too, because before this MOVEMENT began the kids had nobody to Disrupt the status quo for them, just a dumb union stooge ‘teacher’ like my mom supervising them (if that). If only she’d taken the time to buckrake and hustle enough to become rich then she might have been able to help those kids, maybe even change the whole system. But all she had was a masters degree and 35 years of experience teaching children in public schools,sadly my mom just wasn’t qualified enough to be a part of high-level discussions on education policy. At least be grateful we have Betsy, as well as other Activists and even some Edu-vators who made their money in tech…

  • Rob in CT

    In 1997, she brashly explained her opposition to campaign-finance-reform measures that were aimed at cleaning up so-called “soft money,” a predecessor to today’s unlimited “dark money” election spending. “My family is the biggest contributor of soft money to the Republican National Committee,” she wrote in the Capitol Hill newspaper Roll Call. “I have decided to stop taking offense,” she wrote, “at the suggestion that we are buying influence. Now I simply concede the point. They are right. We do expect something in return. We expect to foster a conservative governing philosophy consisting of limited government and respect for traditional American virtues. We expect a return on our investment.”

    The Swamp, it is drained!

    • Little Chak

      I guess “get money and lobbyists out of Washington” actually just meant, “get liberal money and lobbyists out of Washington”. Go figure.

      • so-in-so

        Nah, once they loot the government thoroughly, they’ll leave.

        • upstate_cyclist

          Leave? And risk history repeating itself. I think not.

  • wjts

    …assuming they haven’t started the years over at 1 to honor Emperor Tangerine, a la the French Revolution.

    Can’t wait for the new months. Trumpidor, Yuugaire, Classial, Bigliôse…

    • Maybe we can have Roy Cohn’s birthday off as a national holiday

      • Peterr

        That depends. The birthdays of the Trumplings and the current Mrs Trump will automatically be holidays, and the birthday of The One True Trump will actually be a 12 day feast to be known as “the Twelve Days of Trumpiness.” Everyone gets the first day of Trumpiness off of work, but from there on, whether you get to take the day off depends on your wealth. The Treasury Department has yet to release the wealth-to-holiday scale, that determines how many days of Trumpiness an individual might expect, but rest assured that only the very richest get the whole Twelve Days off.

        As for other holidays, the Treasury Department has yet to release a fee schedule.

        If you want to name an ordinary holiday, like “St. Patrick’s Day” currently, it’s gonna cost you.

        If you want to make it a premium holiday, with closing down offices and banks and such, it’s gonna cost you more.

        If you want to name a month, it’s gonna cost you hugely.

        So you’ve got to ask yourself, what’s it worth to you to get Cohn’s birthday off?

  • Peterr

    Re the title of the post . . .

    When asked for comment, the president-elect replied “I have only the best Deplorables in my cabinet, and they don’t come any more deplorable than my dear friend Betsy!”

  • upstate_cyclist

    As per the Heritage budget blueprint, why look for anyone capable when the department is going to gutted and sold off by the start of Q3?

    • efgoldman

      why look for anyone capable when the department is going to gutted and sold off by the start of Q3?

      I asked in another thread: Do these assholes know they’re not qualified, and not care, or are they delusional enough to really think they can do the jobs?

      • upstate_cyclist

        A cop-out answer is that it depends on the individual and I don’t know enough really wealthy people to speak from personal experience.

        But I can say that in the end, its the end-result that matters, so who the hell cares whether they believe themselves competent or not.

    • DrDick

      Trump keeps affirming my assessment of his selection criteria: find the rich fuckwit least qualified for the position and who stands to gain the most from the complete destruction of the agency.

  • AdamPShort

    In Rick Perry’s defense, I had no idea what the Department of Energy did until a friend of mine who is a nuclear engineer told me over brisket sandwiches last summer. I kind of assumed it had something to do with oil and shit too.

    In my defense, I haven’t been selected to run the Department of Energy.

    • efgoldman

      In Rick Perry’s defense….

      There is no defense for Goodhair. He is dumb as a stump and always has been. A C student in animal husbandry – exactly the person we want watching over the nukes.

      • N__B

        The man got a D in Meats.

  • LeeEsq

    I love this cartoon and used it to defend the 17th Amendment recently.

    • mds

      Which is a actually a thing that needs to be done, nowadays. Did it work? Because anyone who thinks going back to having state legislatures pick US senators is a good thing is already pretty far over the reactionary whackaloon rainbow, in my personal experience.

  • Ellie1789

    I must object to such slander of the French Revolution. Year 1 was the birth of the Republic. It was Napoleon who set the clocks back in 1806.

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