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The Cabinet of Deplorables

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While Rick Perry discovers just what the hell the department he is going to run actually does and while Ben Carson examines his own stool in wondrous awe, Betsy DeVos utterly embarrasses herself in a hearing that LAMAR! rigged for her. But it doesn’t matter because she bought her position, just like a good Gilded Age capitalist does.

In 1997, she brashly explained her opposition to campaign-finance-reform measures that were aimed at cleaning up so-called “soft money,” a predecessor to today’s unlimited “dark money” election spending. “My family is the biggest contributor of soft money to the Republican National Committee,” she wrote in the Capitol Hill newspaper Roll Call. “I have decided to stop taking offense,” she wrote, “at the suggestion that we are buying influence. Now I simply concede the point. They are right. We do expect something in return. We expect to foster a conservative governing philosophy consisting of limited government and respect for traditional American virtues. We expect a return on our investment.”

Owning the country should provide that. All they need to do know is reintroduce slavery. Which I assume will be on the Republican platform in 2020, assuming they haven’t started the years over at 1 to honor Emperor Tangerine, a la the French Revolution.

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