Home / abject wankery / Yiannopoulozilla vs. Testudo! Now with WTF is a Terp? update

Yiannopoulozilla vs. Testudo! Now with WTF is a Terp? update

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Eeek. Milo Yiannopoulos is coming for University of Maryland because the college is in on the plot to freeze his peach.

“University of Maryland stung the students that I was supposed to speak to on Thursday night with a six and a half thousand dollar security fee, four days from the event,” Milo stated. “Well my response to that is very simple. We will hold an event at the University of Maryland, come hell or high water, because they are a public institution and they are not allowed to do that to their students.”

There are a couple of ways to explain his claim. Either 6 and 2 are the same number on Planet Breitbart or he’s a veracity challenged human being.

University spokeswoman Crystal Brown said the cost for the event at Ritchie Coliseum had been estimated at $5,048.

Security would have cost $2,211, Brown said. The other costs included stage setup, lighting, AV, room fees, tables, chairs and other accommodations, she said.

Brown said representatives of Yiannopoulos had requested five university police officers to protect him. The final cost estimate provided to the student group included six officers, she said.

Police don’t work for free? Even to protect a defender of liberty like Yiannopoulos? This is Obama’s Clinton’s fault!

Terps for Trump, the student group hosting the event, tried to raise the additional funds with this more or less heartfelt plea.

“We at Terps for Trump regret to inform that we have run into some bumps regarding funding for this event,” the group wrote. “We all love and appreciate Milo’s work and wholeheartedly want him to give his talk at our University, however we simply cannot afford to pay for this more or less enormous last minute bill by ourselves.”

Other bumps the group encountered included being unable to meet deadlines because the vile Forces of PCSJW used Supreme Commander Obama’s time machine to travel back in time to steal all of their pens so they couldn’t fill out the paperwork.

An Oct. 20 email from Matt Clair, coordinator for Facility Scheduling, to Terps For Trump President Matt Morris indicated that the two parties had met on Oct. 17 and agreed the student group would pay a deposit of $2,000 and submit a signed agreement by Oct. 19 to host a talk by Yiannopoulos at Ritchie. But in addition to the student group’s GoFundMe campaign falling short of the $2,000, Terps for Trump had not turned in the required paperwork by the time Clair sent the email the next day — so the event was canceled.

Conservatism can’t fail! It can only be failed. By failure. And anyway, UMD should have just done the easy thing, which is to let Terps for Trump and Yiannopoulos do what they want for whatever money they were willing to pay.

“We will reschedule, the event will continue and when the event does continue I will be speaking for an hour and a half about … free speech at the University of Maryland,” Yiannopoulos said. “It would have been a lot easier for them if they’d just let this talk happen.”

No he isn’t a hyper-privileged poseur, how dare you?

He added he also intends to contact this university’s Alumni Network to make alumni aware of the matter and gauge their reactions to the decision.

“We’ll let the Republicans know what’s happening here, and we’ll see if UMD’s own alumni agree with the university’s decisions here,” Yiannopoulos said. “There’s really no good outcome for UMD from all of this. It’s a very, very dumb thing for them to try to do, and they’re going to suffer for it.”

That will keep him busy. First, he’ll have to force UMD’s Alumni Association to create a network for Republican alums, then he’ll have to bully people into joining, then he’ll have to explain who he is, and then they’ll have to care.

Stay tuned for live coverage of the Terps for Trump/Yiannopoulos riots!

Explanatory update: Terp is short for terrapin, specifically the diamondback terrapin, which is UMD’s mascot. I don’t know the reason why, but given that UMD started out as an agricultural college, it certainly is original.

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  • junker

    Tangentially related, last spring I interviewed at a school for a professorship, and while I was on campus I saw a ton of fliers around the school advertising a Milo visit. I ended up taking a different position and I would be lying if I said that the students there thinking he was a smart choice to address an assembly wasn’t a tiny, tiny reason for turning it down.

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      he students there thinking he was a smart choice to address an assembly wasn’t a tiny, tiny reason for turning it down.

      Sounds like those students REALLY need educating.

  • Warren Terra

    I like how the “enormous last minute bill” included such surprise expenses as “stage setup, lighting, AV, room fees, tables, chairs” and it was an expense they couldn’t “pay for all by themselves” because they’d failed to file paperwork to get the University to cover part of the cost.

    • LosGatosCA

      The administration probably wanted that money up front – that’s a deal breaker in the Trump world.

      How can you stiff people when they want their money upfront? That’s ridiculous! Don’t they have lawyers to chase us down later and deal with my counter suit as well?

      Obviously not a well run university. Sad.

  • Isn’t that a typo? Shouldn’t it be Derps for Drump?

    • Warren Terra

      I think they just had an anti-cold that day.

      • JustRuss

        *sniff* Sad!

    • PotemkinMetropolitanRegion

      Twerps for Trump!

    • Ahuitzotl

      Yeah I just assumed it was a portmanteau of Trump + Derp

  • Adam The K

    How dare you besmirch the hallowed names of Gamera and Godzilla by associating them with these Twerps for Trump!

    • J. Otto Pohl

      They should have had a UFC cage match between Gamera and Pepe instead.

      • Ramon A. Clef

        Gamera is really neat.

        • Murc

          I’m reliably informed that Gamera is a friend to all children.

          • But not the British children. Or is that washington? I get them confused sometimes.

        • Honoré De Ballsack

          Gamera is really neat…

          He is filled with…turtle meat.

    • Henry Holland

      [dismissive wave of hand towards Godzilla and Gamera] They’re nothing compared to Mothra, who obviously rules all space and time.

  • (((Hogan)))

    Obviously Terps for Trump have modeled their organization after their mancrush’s campaign. With Milo’s help I’m sure they’ll get this event nailed down in time for Trump’s 2020 run.

    Hey, isn’t Milo sitting on $100,000 dollars he said he’d give out as scholarships? Why can’t he use some of that?

    • LosGatosCA

      He does in fact have a very large sum of money, that presently he does not have access to due to arcane liberal legal regulations. It had to be wired through Nigeria. If you can help by staking him $6500 that will free the money up for this event and repay you 3x the original amount when the larger sum arrives.

  • BiloSagdiyev

    Sounds like another humble workin’ man of the heartland being oppressed by the hyperliterate cognitive elite, if you know what I mean.

  • JMP

    “Terps”? Does not having any clue what that’s supposed to mean mean that I’m old an out of touch with today’s youth, or that I’m out of touch with the jargon of the white supremacist alt-right?

    • njorl

      Terps=Terrapins.

    • NonyNony

      “Terps” is a nickname for the U of Maryland Terrapins.

      Yes, U of M has a turtle as their school mascot.

      • JMP

        Not that “terrapins” is a widely known word either; but OK, that makes sense at least. Here I thought this was another “on fleek” situation where my confusion meant that I truly am old now.

      • efgoldman

        Yes, U of M has a turtle as their school mascot.

        I’m in no position to mock. My school’s mascot is a little yappy dog, the Boston Terrier.

        • One of my many alma maters was known as the Fighting Missionaries, after a group of missionaries who may have fought but were eventually massacred.

        • Bill Murray

          I’m in no position to mock.

          excellent pun

      • cpinva

        “Yes, U of M has a turtle as their school mascot.”

        it’s not just any run of the mill turtle, it’s a (as the update notes) a diamond back terrapin, a pretty big honkin’ turtle, as small turtles go.

        I remember when I was young, and first heard of UM’s aquatic mascot, and assumed it must be some kind of snapping turtle (a turtle you don’t want to meet in a dark alley!), like those I’d encountered when living near the outer banks in NC. nope, just kind of a, well…………turtle. to this day, I’ve not a clue why it was selected as the school’s mascot, except that maybe there are a lot of them in eastern MD?

    • bobbo1

      Short for Terrapins, the U of Md. mascot. But don’t ask me what a Terrapin is.

      ETA njorl beat me to it.

      ETA NonyNony beat me to it

    • osceola

      The school’s team name is the Terrapins, or Terps for slang.

    • BiloSagdiyev

      Also, this has nothing to do with Pepe the Frog, who is a racist.

      • JMP

        Apparently he had some history as a poorly drawn meme before getting adopted by the racists, and I’ve seen some people get pissed that everyone assumes anyone using him is racist; but that’s the use that broke out into the world outside of 4Chan and so it’s now a pretty safe assumption.

      • sharculese

        Pepe, as his creator has taken to reminding people, isn’t racist. He’s a lovable frog bro who pulls his pants all the way down to pee. He’s just a been co-opted by racists as a symbol.

        • leftwingfox

          Yep. The original creator of Pepe, Matt Furie, has been posting interesting responses to the perversion of Pepe at The Nib.

        • Juicy_Joel

          He’s a lovable frog bro who pulls his pants all the way down to pee.

          Feels good man.

  • UberMitch

    He added he also intends to contact this university’s Alumni Network to make alumni aware of the matter and gauge their reactions to the decision.

    Maryland class of 2003 here! As an alum, I’m happy to share that my reaction is to tell him to go fuck himself.

  • gratuitous

    That’s just weird; I thought one of the primary raisons d’etre for conservatives was their perpetual battle against “free stuff,” but here is their collegiate vanguard whining about having to pay for set up, hall rental, security, and the other costs associated with having a top shelf douchenozzle come to campus and show his ass.

    Freedom isn’t free, boys.

    • LosGatosCA

      WF Buckley cleared up the whole ‘free market’ thing when he made PBS his network of choice way back when.

      • Bill Murray

        Milton Friedman too

    • rea

      I thought one of the primary raisons d’etre for conservatives was their perpetual battle against “free stuff”

      That’s free stuff for other people, particularly for those people, not free stuff for themselves.

      • efgoldman

        That’s free stuff for other people, particularly for those people

        And then, the free card is good only for T-bones and Cadillacs.

      • twbb

        It’s not free when it comes to themselves; it’s EARNED. Because hardworking REAL AMERICANS.

  • Sargon

    I’m class of 2012, so first off, I cosign UberMitch’s sentiment above.

    Second, I watched my partner spend two years running a club on campus and thus deep in the weeds of student funding and event services (including requesting police presence) and reservations and etc., so from this perspective: HAHAHAHAHAHA fuck these jokers. There are plenty of manuals telling you how to do this stuff correctly. It’s not actually hard. If they’d done the fucking paperwork, they’d be able to work something out.

    Third, does Milo actually think that UMD runs on alumni donations?

    • LosGatosCA

      In Trump world – everything runs on someone else’s money.

      To be fair though, Republicans have been looting the Treasury ever since they gained access to it.

    • According to the Diamondback article the original estimate was a bit more than $9K, so it isn’t like the university didn’t work with them. I was actually surprised at how quickly they were able to reserve Ritchie, assuming negotiations started on or around the 10th.

      He’s probably hoping his army of trolls will piddle all over the carpets.

      • Sargon

        My impression of the system was that, if you do your paperwork, then the rest is fairly people-driven and you can get people to help you out by talking to them and not being a douchebag. When I first heard about this from my partner last night, my impression was that the cost went up at the last minute and they couldn’t cover the gap. In that case, I actually would have bet that they’d be able to work something out. But it looks like they never had enough money for this, even after negotiating the price down, and they fucked up their paperwork, sooooo…

        (Are there even carpets in Ritchie? I don’t think I ever set foot in it the 4 years I was there.)

        • After looking at their FB, Twitter and campus org. page I’m starting to wonder if the group of “High energy students at University of Maryland” exists. There’s nothing about this event or the cancellation.

          The only room I’ve ever seen is the basketball court. The rest is some sort of sports/gym facility.

    • osceola

      Agreed, Sargon. I used to book speakers/events with a student group at FSU. It’s not hard at all and easy to learn.There’s an office that reserves rooms you get really familiar with if you do it a lot. I suspect these students are really inexperienced at campus activism.

      Paying for campus police is new to me. The one time we thought we needed security was a pro-Palestinian speaker some thought might draw trouble (through no fault of her own), and two cops got assigned to the venue we didn’t pay for. Hell, most campus cops see it as a change of pace from writing parking tickets.

      • Sargon

        Our events had to have one cop there because they started at midnight. It turned out that 90% of the time it was the same guy, who was super cool and had a lot of fun. The Rocky Horror Picture Show: more fun than hauling drunks out of bushes!

      • NonyNony

        Milo needed six cops to protect him, though. The campus police might have thought that maybe if he needed that much coverage he should pay a bit for it.

        Also you can tell that Milo’s ego is the size of something very large. Six cops to protect him – he’s that much of a risk. The biggest threat to Milo in that venue is that someone might show up and pie him in the face.

        • Well, there’s always the possibility that the cops will be needed to protect people on campus from Milo’s followers, many of whom seem to have a poor understanding of consent.

        • Bubblegum Tate

          It’s all part of his schtick. He’s calling this the “Dangerous Faggot Tour”–because he’s so dangerous, you see! So un-PC! He opens the show by dressing in drag and singing the national anthem! EDGY!

          To which UMD replies, “Yeah, that’s nice. It will cost you $X.”

        • Well, Milo wants people to think that he needs six cops to protect him. Is he really even that well known, though, or popular enough to draw a crowd that would outnumber the half dozen cops?

          • dr. fancypants

            Milo’s just trying to make sure the cops outnumber the participants at the event. That’s the surest way to be safe.

  • Captain Oblivious

    Milo needs a slap up the side of the head with tsam’s muskellunge.

  • Bruce Vail

    Please, please, please, Shak, do not start making regular Milo posts. You only encourage him.

  • JMP

    I do like the irony of a creep who has built his career on trying to intimidate and silence anyone who says anything he disagrees with through sending his army of deplorable cretins to reveal their personal information, hack them, and harass them with death and rape threats, claiming he’s speaking on free speech. Hell, he got his start jumping on the bandwagon of a hate group dedicated to silencing feminist women involved involved in video games – but then they also liked to ludicrously claim their campaign against freedom of expression was somehow in support of free speech too.

    • BiloSagdiyev

      Alas, in this world, even before 1975, there’s no stoppin’ the cretins from hoppin’.

  • Truly, we must all fear the coming post-Clinton Wingnutpocalypse when we will all be brought to heel by the unequaled intellectual might of people who can’t quite remember to do paperwork on time. At this rate, it may not be long before liberals run for office unopposed because all the Republicans forgot to file as candidates…

  • Sargon

    Regarding the update, and the mascot haters: Snapping turtles are dangerous! They hide in the mud in stream beds and can bite your digits clean off if you piss them off. Also, “Fear the Turtle” is the best motto ever devised in the history of college sports.

    • NonyNony

      I mean, Ohio State has a poisonous nut as its mascot. A turtle is actually slightly less ridiculous.

      There’s a metaphor there about Ohio and poisonous nuts that involves our statehouse and the governor I think, but I don’t think I’m on the ball enough right now to run with it.

      • Captain Oblivious

        There are a lot of colleges and universities in the US. They can’t all be Lions, Tigers, Hawks, Eagles, and Native American tribes.

        • Snarki, child of Loki

          and the Banana Slug is already taken.

          • Baby Needs-A-Nym

            And the Blue Hose.

            • efgoldman

              And the Stanford tree (really the band’s mascot).

              • randy khan

                Extra points for getting that right, unless you went to Stanford.

          • (((Hogan)))

            As is the Gamecock.

            • osceola

              South Carolina fans actually shout “GO COCKS!” at the team. I saw this at a baseball game.

              • Colin Day

                Oh yeah!!

            • Colin Day

              Are you an alum? I am (MA ’89, PhD 92).

              • osceola

                No, I graduated FSU (BA ’84, MA ’89). FSU played USC in the baseball superregionals one year.

                • Colin Day

                  Florida State once eked out a 59-0 victory against us. The student newspaper used that as proof that our players weren’t using steroids.

                • Colin Day

                  Actually, both Florida State and South Carolina were in the old Metro Conference, so you may have seen us a lot more.

              • (((Hogan)))

                UIUC ’78. The Struggling Illini.

        • njorl

          They can all be The Wildcats, though.

        • Thlayli

          I’m a Fighting Storm System m’self.

          (That’s a Dave Barry-ism, I think.)

      • randy khan

        One of my alma maters is the even more ridiculous Violets. (Yes, the flower, not the color.)

        • Brewers – as in people who make beer.
          Hoosier – as in no one knows what it is.

          • tsam

            Aren’t hoosiers supposed to take off to the Great White North?

    • cpinva

      “Snapping turtles are dangerous!”

      yes, yes they are. having had first-hand (well, first-finger) experience with them, I couldn’t agree more. except, well, I hate to break this to you, but that isn’t what UM’s mascot is. the UM terrapin is kinda smallish, and about the only thing it’s going to be snapping are insects and the occasional really slow moving fish.

      sorry.

  • kped

    One of my favorite ongoing jokes on Owen Ellickson’s (he’s a TV producer/writer, works on Superstore and a bunch of other stuff) fantastic Twitter feed is his Milo parody.

    https://twitter.com/onlxn/status/791413288647012352

    It really is an accurate summation of that hack Milo’s shtick.

    • cpinva

      Daffyd was pretty hysterical too, and is probably Milo’s younger, more obnoxious brother.

  • grouchomarxist

    “Help! Help! I’m being repressed!”

    • Dave Empey

      How did that get to be such a joke? Dennis was being repressed!

      • BiloSagdiyev

        Er… Dennis was really annoying?

  • (((Hogan)))

    I don’t know the reason why, but given that UMD started out as an agricultural college, it certainly is original.

    In Maryland, diamondback terrapins were so plentiful in the 18th century that slaves protested the excessive use of this food source as their main protein. Late in the 19th century, demand for turtle soup claimed a harvest of 89,150 pounds from Chesapeake Bay in one year. In 1899, terrapin was offered on the dinner menu of Delmonico’s Restaurant in New York City as the third most expensive item on the extensive menu. A patron could request either Maryland or Baltimore terrapin at a price of $2.50. Although demand was high, over capture was so high by 1920, the harvest of terrapins reached only 823 pounds for the year.

    If they were naming the team now, they’d probably be the Soft Shell Crabs. Or maybe the Old Bays.

    • Nepos

      If I had a time machine, one of my first stops would be Delmonico’s at its heyday.

    • cpinva

      oddly enough, they did the very same thing to oysters and ducks, driving both species to near extinction. then they bitch, because the government, in an effort to keep them employed, limits the amounts of both that can be taken commercially. same thing of course happened to the buffalo out west.

    • Joe

      Found the recipe for Terrapin Maryland at Project Gutenberg.

  • Owlbear1

    Why exactly isn’t this whole thing happening in a beer-hall off-campus?

    • Sargon

      And then the PG County police would beat them up and arrest them when they try to march to campus to present their weird demands! But that’s actually business as usual for College Park.

      The serious (and non-Godwin-related) answer is “It’s not fun to be a douchebag if people ignore you.” Which is basically Milo’s entire thing in a nutshell.

      • cpinva

        “The serious (and non-Godwin-related) answer is “It’s not fun to be a douchebag if people ignore you.” Which is basically Milo’s entire thing in a nutshell.”

        I believe we have a winner folks! of course, that’s been every rightwing grifter’s schtick since Reagan.

    • Ahuitzotl

      or a phone box

  • Mike in DC

    Fear the Turtle, Milo.

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